To feel unsupported and misunderstood by work

[sajamor0811]

I've been struggling with my job for a while and a couple of weeks ago had a meltdown which resulted in me needing the rest of the day off. I had booked a doctor's appointment for stress the following week, during which three tricky anniversaries were coming up too.

I was back the next day and in the meantime had suggested doing admin only or having a week to revise procedures so I'd feel more confident. I was put on more admin and less phone work so can't say no accommodation at all was made.

I also wouldn't say the section leader I had a meeting with was totally unsupportive or not a nice person. But her emphasis of how the job was high pressure, was I suited to it and how more would get expected of me made me feel under more stress.

In fairness she did say she didn't want people working out of hours as I had been to stay on top of my workload and practise/revise procedures. Yet when I don't get time to do that in the working day what else can I do?

The following week I was then put back on the phones as much as before with no check of whether I felt ready for it or not. Nobody checked in on me to see how I was coping at any point or how the doctor's appointment went. I was on the whole enjoying the job and feeling more confident but isn't that by the by?

Then I had a review yesterday where it was said I'm still making too many mistakes. I again said it might be an idea for me to have time off the phones and revise. The attitude that got taken was it's a business where people have to be on the phones and I've been given help with procedures.

I don't dispute the latter but can't help thinking if I had time to concentrate on revising them without other pressures or distractions they'd go in better. Then when I said I'd spend the weekend genning up I was told to do that if it helped. Yet it's flying in the face of the "don't work in your free time" I was given. I just feel so confused.

I am filling in a form for an autism test as I wonder whether struggling to retain information is part of that. But I'm reluctant to say anything in case it looks like card playing for more probation time.

You need to completely rethink your attitude OP. Doing what you have to do to complete your own workload is not you making sacrifices for the team.

You doing some of their admin so that they can help you by doing your phone calls is not you making sacrifices for the team.

They did support you by letting you have two days in work where you did things other than your job, it was reasonable to expect you to get back to it after the weekend. They are not your Mum, they don’t need to check you’re ok. If you feel incapable of doing the role they hired you for, it’s up to you to tell them.

Other people would have to do more of the thing that you want to do less of if they do what you want. Surely you can see that isn’t fair on them. You are asking for a huge favour from your colleagues who owe you nothing and at the same time you’re claiming it would be good for the team as a whole when it really wouldn’t, it would dog be good for you.

Ah OP it’s horrible when you feel out of your depth in a job. But if you can’t do the role you’re paid for to the point you are breaking down it’s very reasonable to ask if you are in fact up to the job.

Yes, this.

It wasn't sodding around at all - it was done to improve my knowledge and lessen the team's workload.

I understand the point about improving knowledge. If dealing with emails and doing billing is part of your role, then doing more in your own time can give you more practice at it. You should build up that experience in your working hours though, preferably. But if that’s what you’re doing - extra working as extra learning, I understand why.

But you’re not doing it to lessen the team’s workload. If they work 9-5, your team lead is never going to say, “oh hey, sajamor did extra emails last night - nice one sajamor! - everybody can go home at 4 today!”

Would you be happy having a pay/role downgrade to only have to do the bits you wanted to @sajamor0811?

I think you're being given a hard time here.

From my understanding you are not asking to be permanently relieved of phone duties but to find a way to give you the time to embed all the procedures you need to enable you to have full confidence in the phone work and to be able to work to your best ability.

It would seem to make sense for the company to attempt to put something in place because they can't just sack her so wouldn't it be better to try something to help her improve rather than put up with someone making mistakes and potentially being signed off with stress?

Definitely speak to OH, OP so they can help with seeing if something can be put into place?

She’s in her probation period, they definitely can just sack her unfortunately.

'What I meant was doing an hour or two's more admin and less phonework a day.'

But this isn't the job you've been employed to do.

Maybe there are others in the team who would also prefer to do more admin and fewer calls. Where would that leave them?

What if everyone wanted to do more admin and fewer calls.

The business has no responsibility to change the job just for you, unless there is a a justifiable reason why you need those adjustments.

I agree with a previous poster that I think you are in danger of failing your probation.

You need to concentrate on trying to complete your actual job to the highest possible standard, within the usual working day, rather than seeking to change it to suit your preferences.

Plus she’s had six months of time already, and nothing’s getting easier.

I'm really sorry you're struggling, OP. Sounds like you're trying to do what you can to keep this job. I'm going to approach this from the manager stance though - as this is something I went through last year with one of my new team members. She too was clearly trying her best, but information just wasn't sticking. She was given extra training on everything, often on multiple occasions. I gave her time to study our processes etc. and made it clear that even if she had a million questions a day, I'd be more than happy to answer them. If I hadn't previously trained multiple other people successfully, I'd have been convinced I was going spectacularly wrong with her training. But she just didn't get it and in the end we had to let her go. I'll be honest and say that we likely would have tried her in a different role within the company that didn't require so much information recall, but she started blaming our processes and colleagues for her shortcomings in her last month, which was difficult as they'd all bent over backwards to help her.

Whether this role is right for you or not I don't know, but there's only so much time and money a company will put into your training before it becomes unsustainable.

I did ask if there were any admin only roles in my meeting with the section leader. As there weren't I needed to stay in the job that's a mix of phones and admin. I do accept that's how it has to be and am saying I want it to remain so - just a bit more admin based by an hour or two each day for just a week or two. And if other people wanted it for the good of their health and the team it surely would be worth looking at. It's not cherry picking but helping.

And the point I keep making over and over is it's a short term suggestion - not demand - to help long term. If it helps me be on a par with other people and prevents the team being one down how is that a bad thing?

You not doing your role as it's needed to be done isn't going to help you to be on par with your colleagues. If you haven't been able to successfully learn how to manage the job by six months, it's just not going to happen. You can't expect an employer to keep investing time, money, as well as repeatedly making allowances for an under-performing team member.

Where did you work before OP? Your role sounds very like mine but I’ve done it since I was in my 20s there’s no way I would be able to pick it up from scratch now at my 2 child perimenopausal age.

What do you think will change after just two weeks? The role you need to return to will still be the same.

If it's anything like my job

We have a million procedures to follow for anything

So for example "how to book a customer in"
Every week if not more often we will get an email saying "how to book a customer in has changed, please see new procedure below" and you have to do that from then on

But you aren't allocated time to read them, you just have to do it between calls or while you're talking to a customer or before or after your shift

I see. Well, she's been there 6 months and they've not sacked her yet. If I was her colleagues I'd rather they put something in to place to help than just carry on with her not being able to fully fulfil the role - wouldn't you?

Maybe the role isn't for her and she should start searching for a different job. But in the meantime, I don't understand the company just saying you're still making mistakes but let's not do anything to try and improve that.

What makes you think that’s reasonable or fair in the rest of the team though?

How would you demonstrate to your employer that being more admin based for a couple of hours a day is going to help you cope with phones better long term?

How would they know that give you an easy couple of weeks and expecting more from your colleagues is genuinely going to enable you to do the job as well as everyone else when it’s over?

I think that's the issue. Your employer will be wondering how an hour or two of extra admin for the next couple of weeks is going to resolve anything when you've had 6 months of trying to learn the job without any real success.

OP - you keep saying that you being given more time/accommodations now would be better for everyone in the long term. But you have to realise that it is a realistic option for your employer to let you go, and hire someone different. They might very easily think the best thing for everyone in the long term is for you not to do this job.

I think you need a slight mindset shift from ‘my employers are unreasonable’ to ‘I really want this job how can I show them I am up to it’. If you do want it. Or maybe discuss a different role with them?

But it also doesn't look like anything has been put into place to support her. She's not even seen OH by the sounds of it.

If I was her colleague, I would want them to deal with any performance issues and not expect me to suck up the extra work that she was struggling with, even if they did take away some of my easier tasks to compensate. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but most people don't want to carry team members who cannot pull their weight.

The admin is customer service based and so would be a way of practising and implementing procedures. Being able to do that effectively and across different enquiry types would demonstrate my knowledge to transfer to the phones.

But is it reasonable or fair on the rest of the team to have someone making lots of mistakes and not trying something to help? At the end of the day OP has suggested a few days with less pressure. If it doesn't help then they'll know. Better that than leaving someone for 6 months plus without trying anything.

They let her do just admin for a couple of days. She said that she has had "help" with the procedures, though we don't know exactly what form that help was in.

Occ health might be able to help, but it isn't terribly clear as to whether the OP has declared to her employer that health issues and/or potential neurodivergence might be affecting he performance. They know that she was stressed, yes, but they may think that she was stressed because of the underperformance, rather than the underperformance itself being caused by an underlying mental health condition.

The thing is op, you seem to think your team/colleagues should be invested in your well being at the expense of their own. Why would they? You also seem to think that them making these exceptions for you will somehow be in their best interest. Not actually op. After 6 months you should be proving yourself and standing out.