To feel unsupported and misunderstood by work

[sajamor0811]

I've been struggling with my job for a while and a couple of weeks ago had a meltdown which resulted in me needing the rest of the day off. I had booked a doctor's appointment for stress the following week, during which three tricky anniversaries were coming up too.

I was back the next day and in the meantime had suggested doing admin only or having a week to revise procedures so I'd feel more confident. I was put on more admin and less phone work so can't say no accommodation at all was made.

I also wouldn't say the section leader I had a meeting with was totally unsupportive or not a nice person. But her emphasis of how the job was high pressure, was I suited to it and how more would get expected of me made me feel under more stress.

In fairness she did say she didn't want people working out of hours as I had been to stay on top of my workload and practise/revise procedures. Yet when I don't get time to do that in the working day what else can I do?

The following week I was then put back on the phones as much as before with no check of whether I felt ready for it or not. Nobody checked in on me to see how I was coping at any point or how the doctor's appointment went. I was on the whole enjoying the job and feeling more confident but isn't that by the by?

Then I had a review yesterday where it was said I'm still making too many mistakes. I again said it might be an idea for me to have time off the phones and revise. The attitude that got taken was it's a business where people have to be on the phones and I've been given help with procedures.

I don't dispute the latter but can't help thinking if I had time to concentrate on revising them without other pressures or distractions they'd go in better. Then when I said I'd spend the weekend genning up I was told to do that if it helped. Yet it's flying in the face of the "don't work in your free time" I was given. I just feel so confused.

I am filling in a form for an autism test as I wonder whether struggling to retain information is part of that. But I'm reluctant to say anything in case it looks like card playing for more probation time.

Did you have the same training as the rest of your team, op?
You’re talking as though you’ve just joined, rather than having already had six months on the job.

But they have been for 6 months! I would not want to carry someone for 6 months plus - I would like something to be tried to stop me having to carry the struggling person.

She had a few days with less pressure, it didn’t work, she still wants more.

It says in OPs first post that she was given hell with procedures.

You are making it up that they haven’t tried anything, OP herself says they have.

But we don't actually know what else they have tried. The chances are, they will let her go at the end of her probation period, which I'm guessing is the actual 6 month mark. Lots of places do this to give new starters every possible chance to succeed, but they won't extend it indefinitely.

She says she had a meltdown at work. That's pretty serious. And they've not set up a meeting with OH.

If she's had all this help and support and it's not working why keep employing her? It doesn't quite add up.

And if other people wanted it for the good of their health and the team it surely would be worth looking at. It's not cherry picking but helping.

But how would the actual work get done if everyone was allowed
not to bother with the tricky bits? There wouldn’t be a company left to work at eventually!

I have had the same training - which I've never disputed - and advice on areas I've struggled with. I don't say the company is a bad one or that it's treated me badly on the whole. But I really don't understand why so many of you seem to think a week or two of me doing something that would help everyone long term is so detrimental and selfish to everyone. That's what I meant about being made to feel like a bad person. Even when somebody's stepped in to point out how harsh a lot of you are being you still carry on beating the same drum!

That’s honestly really kind of you. But my team would have ran out of support by 6 months, they’d be annoyed at the additional workload and telling me to get rid.

That’s not why I’d do so, because HR exists, but it would be shocking for team morale and after 6 months I couldn’t feasibly remove a core function of someone’s job to make it more accessible without medical grounds to do so.

If at the end of someone’s probation period they couldn’t confidently do the core parts of their job, it wouldn’t be passed. There’s a slim chance it would be extended, but that’s it.

...just a bit more admin based by an hour or two each day for just a week or two. And if other people wanted it for the good of their health and the team it surely would be worth looking at. It's not cherry picking but helping.

I'm sorry, op, but you are just not being reasonable. You can't have random team members redefining their own roles to suit them better at the expense of their colleagues who are able to do the job as it's needed to be done. That absolutely is cherry picking and it won't work. The business will suffer.

If you were a month in, some temporary adjustments might be reasonable to help you along, but it's been six months. You should be proficient by now.

TinyYellow If you read my posts properly you will see it's not I can't be bothered with the tricky bits but that I want to hone them. I'm sick of constantly expecting and justifying myself to people who just seem hellbent on dragging me down even further. This is not meant to be a playground for bullies and much more of this will see people getting reported for acting like it!

It might just be that the role isn't right for you, which would be nothing to be ashamed of. We all have things we can and can't do well.

To be totally clear, I’m sure you’re a lovely person.

I'm just unsure that removing part of the role to make you more confident, after 6 months and training, would be a feasible option that would mean you were able to stay.

I’m not trying to attack you personally, I’m just telling you how it would unfortunately work.

You are not the right fit for the job, and and ten hours less on the phones won't change that.
It isn't helping the team to prolong the situation.

If someone is having a meltdown at work, that job is no good for their wellbeing and they should leave.

She had a few days less pressure after she'd had a meltdown at work. That sounds fair to me. That is separate to OP suggesting how she can improve with the job.

But OP is saying she is so stressed because of all the extra work she has been doing. She has suggested something to enable her to embed the training.

I'm making up nothing. They have not tried her suggestion. They have had her there 6 months and she is still struggling. So what they've tried hasn't helped.

But talking up making up things - so many people saying OP has said she permanently wants to not do phone calls and she was off sick so she could go to a GP appointment etc.

Who is saying you're a "bad person?" You really seem unable to accept that this role isn't suited for you. Why? It's not a character flaw, op.

Because they are probably waiting for a scheduled probation meeting.

We don't know what the "meltdown" looked like or how it was interpreted by her employer, what triggered it etc. She was back at work the next day, so no obvious signs of mental illness, and we know that the OP hasn't wanted to mention potential neurodiversity. For all we know, the OP may have just got upset in response to negative feedback and walked out. Not all stress responses need to be pathologised and not all displays of emotion in the workplace warrant an expensive occ health referral.

Aquamarine1029 If you read my posts properly too you would see I am not redefining my role but for the millionth time suggesting a short term measure to help everyone long term. It's an accommodation for everyone, not just indulgence of me and if something is necessary from a health viewpoint, it's necessary. You wouldn't suggest somebody with a leg injury worked on their feet all day for the time being!

NRTFT

I worked in call centres for 20 years

It's shite

The best thing I EVER did was apply for jobs outside of that - local council, NHS, etc

Kindly OP, if you aren't suited to speaking to people, get the fuck out while you still have a life

Getting out was the best thing I ever did

It’s because you’re missing the point that it doesn’t help everyone long term. It helps you long term by making other peoples work harder in the short term and that has no benefit to them.

You are refusing to acknowledge that your plan is detrimental to your colleagues and continue to insist that it would be for everyone’s benefit.

But I really don't understand why so many of you seem to think a week or two of me doing something that would help everyone long term is so detrimental and selfish to everyone.

But none of us can see how this helps everyone. It may help you but it doesn't help your team. Say everybody has 7 hours of stressful calls and 1 hour of less stressful admin a day. You doing the admin for them now means that they have 8 hours of stressful calls to make. They do not get extra time to themselves, they do not get an hour of peace to work on admin, instead they get more time doing the bits that nobody, especially you likes. This has been pointed out to you several times but you either don't see it, or you're not explaining it very well to us

@TinyYellow If it's only for a week or two and helps me do the job better far longer term how is it detrimental? By that token you could say going on holiday or off sick and not doing any work then is selfish!

If you read my posts properly too you would see I am not redefining my role but for the millionth time suggesting a short term measure to help everyone long term.

I can read, op, and your suggestion does not "help everyone." It just doesn't, and you repeating yourself a million times won't change that. Your plan will actually make your teammates jobs more stressful for them.

@KrisAkabusi The point I have made more times than I can count now is that it is a VERY short term measure - literally for a week or two - which would help reinforce my long term knowledge and performance. It would also involve only 1-2 hours off the phone so that is hardly opting out, leaving people in the klartz or however else you see it!

You’ve been devoting this amount of time in the evenings and weekends, though, and it’s made no difference?