Is losing a pet the same as losing a relative?

[Thejewellershands]

This question has been inspired from another thread that I read this morning and got me wondering.

Do you think that losing a pet is comparable/the same as losing a relative?

I have a dog and two cats and on one hand if I lost a close family member and someone compares it to them losing their cat I’d probably be a bit annoyed. But then again, when I put myself in the position of losing one of my animals I know that I will feel utterly devastated and heartbroken. Grief is grief and loss is loss. But are they comparable? What do you think?

Worse, I actually love my pets.

No. In no way comparable in my opinion. I have a pet who I love but no way would I grieve a pet like a family member it friend. But saying that I do know people who feel so deeply for their pet that they would

Maybe this is what it comes down to. How close you are/how much you love the relative vs how bonded you are to your pet

Yes they're a member of the family same as humans x

No. Obviously. And I loved my dog and was heartbroken when he died.

I felt very intense grief for my cat when he died but I kept it to myself because I knew, really, that it does not compare to losing a family member because that can change your life in profound and long lasting ways even if your relationship was complicated.

Surely it’s different for everyone. Doesn’t need to be a competition.

We have pets,and I would be sad if they died, but it's not comparable to a family member or friend dying.

No. I love animals, but nothing matches the devastation I felt at losing DH and a baby grandchild.☹️

When my sick parent died I was devestated and continue to miss them but when our dog died ( it belonged to my parent ) unexpectedly I’ve never felt grief like it.
it hit so much harder for me. I recovered quicker and miss them both desperately.

Losing my dog was much worse than losing my granny. The heart wants what it wants.

Grief is grief and loss is loss.

That's like saying pain is pain.

If the worst pain you've ever had is an ear infection, it still hurts like buggery.

But it is not like getting your leg blown off.

To me it’d depend on the relationship with the human, and probably the circs. of the death.
A much loved aunt died well into her 80s, but I hadn’t seen her very often, so I can honestly say that the pain of losing our dog, who’d been with me almost continuously for over 14 years, was considerably greater.

Losing a relatively young parent or sibling would be an entirely different matter.

Yes actually that’s true, good point!

My cat is my best friend. Way nicer than any human! If there was that train track psychology dilemma where I had to choose person or pet... pet all the time!

The Trolley Problem!

Depends on the pet and the relative. I have a friend who lives alone with a dog. When that dog dies it will be devastating for him. He wfh mostly do they are together almost 24/7 1:1.
It's different imo to a busy family with two adults multiple children a dog and two cats losing one of their pets.

It can be. I have spoken to several people who said they were more upset at losing their dog. It depends on the relationship in both cases. Love is love.

My cat/dog, who you live with and interact with daily for 10-15 years, is a way closer relationship then a cousin, uncle or possibly even grandparent or sibling (depending on family dynamics).A (involved non toxic) parent or partner probably outweighs a pet in most situations.

It’s all down to love.

When I lost my dad, my pain was huge and I still miss him 11 years later. But when I lost my dogs, I was more surprised by the amount of heartache I felt.

It shouldn’t be a competition though.

It is worse to me. My animals are my life. I don’t have close family. Plus the love from my animals is on another level for me. They are so honest and trusting and loyal. Humans need to learn some lessons.

Only if you're related to the pet.

Depends on the relationship with the relative and the pet.

I lost my grandad two years before I lost my spaniel (2020 and 2022). Both hurt equally.

But with my grandad I knew his time was coming so I was more prepared - we'd spoken about it, we'd discussed his will, what would be done with his car etc. so the grief was very different. I lost my spaniel in very tragic circumstances and tbh will likely never recover fully from it and still have flashbacks - he was my entire world. My shadow.

But of course, miss and love my grandad more. The grief is different sort of grief but just as potent.

Some people do humanise pets and do see them on the same level as a relative so to them it would be the same
but the need to recognise that is exclusive to them and should keep it to themselves

Only if your relationship with the family is dysfunctional, I think.

I was heartbroken when my pet died. That’s nothing to what happened when my mum died.

Proximity and context do come into it, of course. Your Uncle Ernie who was 87 and you haven’t seen in 20 years isn’t a comparable loss to your dog. You have a daily loving relationship with your dog and Uncle Ernie is a vague happy memory of a choc ice when you visited as a child, at best.

But a close relative and a pet - believe me, it’s not the same. I wish it were.