AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

[user1471554720]

Normally I go on hols wirh dh and 2 tween dcs in June. We go on a sun hol half board, with breakfast and dinner in a package. I always put on weight due to having breakfast, a small lunch and wine with dinner. We eat dinner at 7pm so not too late.

I am 5ft 3, 53 years old,weigh 11 stone. I follow a loose version of the 16:8 to maintain this, not eating til 12pm and eating 2 meals a day.

I don't mind putting up the weight as weather is fine over the summer and I exercise a lot with walks, jogging. It comes off over a month.

For the past few years, I have taken a second sun hol in Sep/Oct with 2 relatives one 40 years and one 70s, also half board.

I find it much harder to get the weight down after it due to winter and not able to exercise as much outside. I work fulltine and don't have loads of time for gyms.

The two relatives eat breakfast, then nothing til dinner at 8pm. I tried this and was very hungry by dinner. I suggested getting dinner early and one laughed like as if I am greedy. The correct thing for me would be to skip breakfast and eat a lunch. This would make the waiting for 8pm dinner more bearable.

I am considering not going this year, as it looks odd not eating the breakfast. If i do eat breakfast I can't fast til 8pm and eat lots of calories with 3 meals.

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

Also when I go on hols with the relatives, one drinks very little. One will share wine with me and will drink more than her share. They go to pubs to get beer after but I don't love the wine in pubs so the wine with the meal is my only chance. I try ordering a different wine to them so as to get my small bottle to myself.

@user1471554720 I have a great idea.

Skip this nightmare of a holiday with your judgmental relatives.

Use the money to see either a therapist or a dietician who is used to working with food issues.

What I heard SO strongly in this was “my treat,” “it’s my treat,” “I don’t want to share MY treat,” and that is such a cry from a child who was ignored by family members and learned to have a treat when they hurt inside.

You need someone to help you stop thinking about any foods as treat. You need a healthy non-holiday relationship with wine. And you might even lose more, because if you’re starving yourself of certain vitamins or plateauing, you may need something that’s missing, NOT to deny yourself more!

So, please, do talk to someone who knows food; try some meal plans. Don’t let this be the rest of your life. And use the money you would have spent on this vacation from hell to do it. I wish you so, so, SO much luck!!!!

well, precisely…

This!

Just do 'you'.... no need for this senseless hand wringing over mealtimes

Go to breakfast and make a sandwich with the bread and sausage for later ate at when you want!!

Maybe this poster could take your place on the holiday, sounds like they’d get on very well with your relatives.

What's a 'sun hol'?

I’ve seen a lot of things called first world problems before, but I’ve never actually seen one with my own eyes before now.

Maybe you should stay at home and not put a downer on your relatives holiday.

Doubtful, I would actively fight anyone who suggested skipping lunch.

It's not healthy to overeat 2 meals and skip one to pretend to be a martyr about it.

Did your teachers not explain context?

Your relatives sound like misery gutses and judgy pants. I don't understand how going away with them would make you happy. One of them guzzles most of the wine in a sneaky way and then they only grudgingly give you a tiny space in the room which you have to share with them FFS. How nightmarish! And that's before they start making or implying criticisms about your weight/how much you eat/drink etc. Honestly, they sound horrible. I would hate a holiday like this. I think you should thank them for the invitation (if that's what it is) but say that this kind of holiday doesn't work for you any more.

@badatdecisions

you are wrong

do you not know that some people have slower metabolisms than others?

@merryhouse what you talking about?

Goodness everyone is so rude!! Do some people get pleasure from piling on to OP and sanctimoniously declaring she food issues and must be awful to go on holiday with? She’s asking for advice…so give the advice or go and watch Selling Sunset / scroll on!

OP I am a faster too - I’m very healthy and have a great relationship with food and exercise, I just like being slim and understand what I need to do for that. So sorry if that offends anyone!

When we go half board I have just black coffee with breakfast to avoid breaking the fast, but I have to have lunch. I know we’ve paid for breakfast, but I’d rather skip it most days and not put on too much weight over the two weeks.

Also I don’t drink normally so yes the wine with dinner in Italy feels pretty special, and I look forward to it!

All of this, do not go, as well as what @fridgegrazer said your eating plan / timings sounds much more reasonable than theirs. And eating dinner at 6 pm is much better than eating at 8/9 because you need to digest your food before bed or it will affect your sleep. I cannot believe going is still even a question!

that's a myth.

mostly because standard advice dictates xyz calories per day without consideration of height or age so people just say "metabolism" because they don't realise they're overeating.

actual calorie intake for short women is the same as a 10 year old boy's.

Three's a crowd OP. Don't go with people who don't even leave you space in the room for your clothes and toothbrush.

If your diet/food choices are controlling your life to the point you can't go on a holiday, then I think you need to reconsider your approach. Food shouldn't control your life

This

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

You only eat out when on holiday?!

Can you make yourself a sandwich from breakfast materials and eat it at lunch?
That way you can have two paid for meals at time that suites you and skip breakfast.

I hated breakfast included in price untill I discovered it is perfectly reasonable to pack food I paid for and eat it at different time of the day. Due to my work I normally skip breakfast,maybe have something snackish/light for lunch and enjoy lush dinner when all my days work is done.

You do seem a bit fixated on food, wine, mealtimes and weight gain to be honest. As others have said, you don't have to eat breakfast and can have a light lunch if you want to. It sounds like you just don't really want to go away with your relatives and are looking for excuses. If that's the case, just don't go but fussing about mealtimes seems a bit petty and obsessive.

I’ve seen a lot of things called first world problems before, but I’ve never actually seen one with my own eyes before now.
OMG yes!!!
Unless you are currently serving in a role that will ensure the survival of Planet Earth, and carrying an extra 3Ib will mean you can't fit in the necessary seat on this vitality important mission, enjoy the bloody breakfast.

As if everyone wanted to eat this late and dine for hours. Surely the whole point is that everyone eats as it suits them.

Christ this holiday sounds miserable. What do you enjoy about it?

badatdecisions

No need to be smug. I said before my extended relatives are large and eat normally. My mother, who is thin, is often surprised at how little and how healthy I eat. I am 53. I cannot lose weight unless I eat 1 neal a day and exercise for hours. I work fulltime.Between that and housework I don't have hours to exercise.

Hey OP. Just my two cents, but from experience, if your eating habits are starting to affect your relationships and social plans, to the point that you’re having to miss out on entire events, you’ve very possibly entered disordered eating territory. I hope that’s okay to say on here. You just remind me a lot of myself a few years back.