AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

[user1471554720]

Normally I go on hols wirh dh and 2 tween dcs in June. We go on a sun hol half board, with breakfast and dinner in a package. I always put on weight due to having breakfast, a small lunch and wine with dinner. We eat dinner at 7pm so not too late.

I am 5ft 3, 53 years old,weigh 11 stone. I follow a loose version of the 16:8 to maintain this, not eating til 12pm and eating 2 meals a day.

I don't mind putting up the weight as weather is fine over the summer and I exercise a lot with walks, jogging. It comes off over a month.

For the past few years, I have taken a second sun hol in Sep/Oct with 2 relatives one 40 years and one 70s, also half board.

I find it much harder to get the weight down after it due to winter and not able to exercise as much outside. I work fulltine and don't have loads of time for gyms.

The two relatives eat breakfast, then nothing til dinner at 8pm. I tried this and was very hungry by dinner. I suggested getting dinner early and one laughed like as if I am greedy. The correct thing for me would be to skip breakfast and eat a lunch. This would make the waiting for 8pm dinner more bearable.

I am considering not going this year, as it looks odd not eating the breakfast. If i do eat breakfast I can't fast til 8pm and eat lots of calories with 3 meals.

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

Also when I go on hols with the relatives, one drinks very little. One will share wine with me and will drink more than her share. They go to pubs to get beer after but I don't love the wine in pubs so the wine with the meal is my only chance. I try ordering a different wine to them so as to get my small bottle to myself.

You and your relatives all have an unhealthy relationship with food. Trying to eat a sandwich so they don't notice you eating it, Jesus. It's all messed up. And your calmly talking about it all as if this is perfectly normal!

Wow.

Have you tried unclenching for a change?

But who would eat that early, particularly on holiday? Surely the whole point is to have a nice meal at 8 or 9 and take your time enjoying it for a couple of hours?

Could you not do half board for once? I haven't done that in many years. I prefer self-catering. I don't do any catering but when I'm abroad I want to eat in local places, not in a hotel every day! We might get some cold stuff in for breakfast or lunch and have dinner out. That way you've more control!

its simple. if you want to go then go and eat what and when you want to. Or don't go.

What is your AIBU then?

To what?

Don’t go. Frankly you all sound ridiculous with your little rules and the horror of being seen as fat or ‘greedy’ by war generation dipsticks.

Relax. Release your girdle and live your life a bit. 🍷

But who would eat that early, particularly on holiday? Surely the whole point is to have a nice meal at 8 or 9 and take your time enjoying it for a couple of hours?

I probably would if I'd only had breakfast!

I prefer my main meal at lunch!

Go down to breakfast, eat fruit/yogurt tea and coffee and make yourself a roll/sandwich from the cold buffet to eat later.

Enjoy life, OP

Time is short.

You don’t have to eat breakfast , drink wine and eat heavy evening meals. You could skip breakfast, have a light lunch and a moderate dinner . Swap the wine for gin/ vodka and low calorie mixers and as you’ll be missing breakfast use the time to take a jog .

Just don’t go.

I’m sorry but you all sound mental and this set-up sounds like hell, not an enjoyable relaxing holiday.

yabu for not eating the way it works for you.

Order two large glasses of wine and don’t get involved in sharing a bottle.
Try and have the odd meal out during the year so the eating on holiday isn’t such a thing.

Do you have to go on the holiday with relatives? Sounds so dreary! I do intermittent fasting, too. In my late 50s, 5 foot 1 and also over 11 stone. I am trying hard to get this weight down. If I don't have breakfast then I can be fine and go without until lunchtime. Strangely, if I do have breakfast, I am ravenous by lunch! The mealtimes don't work for you. Even if they did, your relatives sound weird in their attitudes and mocking of others. What do you do on the holiday in between breakfast and dinner? I personally would not go and just enjoy the June holiday.

Hi OP, I think it's worth having a chat with your relatives and saying that this year you'll get your own room, and sort your own board out due to your dietary requirements. It sounds like you're all close, and yes family may whine but I bet they'd prefer you to be there to enjoy the time together rather than you not go because you want to skip breakfast and have an earlier dinner.
Good luck, enjoy the holiday x

I haven't read the whole thread but I'm exhausted just reading the OPs comments. Sorry OP but you sound hard work. Fair enough if you want to skip breakfast and eat by a certain time, drink restaurant wine and get your timed jog in, but you can't expect others to fit in with you. You do you and they can do them I say! Your schedule sounds quite rigid for a 'holiday'. I wouldn't fancy going away with someone with such a strict mindset.

Agree. I do 16/8 but relax on holiday and just have a small breakfast, a small lunch and a normal dinner. I walk around a lot and don't generally put on weight on holiday. If I do, it's about 2lbs.

You have a food issue. You just eat when you want to eat. You don’t need to eat breakfast just because they are likewise they don’t need to eat lunch. Just after you will all eat together at dinner.

Surely on holiday you eat what you want to eat? Why can’t you just eat fruit for breakfast or eggs, neither are going to make you gain weight? You don’t need to have a fry up or danish pastries? Same with other meals, you don’t have to eat the unhealthy options?

I like to eat healthy, it’s hard work losing weight as you get older so I wouldn’t want to ruin it but stuffing my face for a week but I wouldn’t let food take over my holiday. Just chose the healthier options.

Sorry, but you need to get over yourself. I’ve just lost 4.5st. Hoping to add another stone to that by the time we go on the family holiday in July, so totally understand the panic of deviating from the eating plan.

I won’t quite be at goal by that point, but I will adjust my diet and expectations to ensure I don’t shit on everyone else’s holiday. Likely this will involve black coffee for breakfast and fruit/salad for lunch and relaxing in the evening. I will drink whatever shit hotel wine my DH and DD order and say cheers to my 16yo as he chugs a lager… he’s worked his socks off through glandular fever, 3 bouts of covid in 3 years and not given up on his GCSEs (wants to study medicine); my DH has worked his fkn arse off to pay for it and to support me and our kids through this; my DD has battled huge MH demons (ASD/ADHD/and more) to even still be here… so my lardy arse can hold off for a couple of weeks while I enjoy them all.

There are more important things than a fkn diet.

These food rules and all this greedy talk is seriously unhealthy. Eat when you want to eat, not when others tell you to.

Your two meals must be massive if it's for maintaining 11 stone (before anyone has a go, the lower end of a healthy weight at 5'3' is 7 and a half stone, I'm also the same height) and 11 stone is overweight.

When I was 11 stone I ate 3 meals a day plus chocolate.

I would have smaller meals and take/buy some snacks.

or just change your diet/lifestyle in general since it doesn't seem fun at all for you

It’s not about you.

This.
I’d be hangry as hell if I ate at 8am and then not until 8pm 😳
Just delay breakfast as above.