AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

[user1471554720]

Normally I go on hols wirh dh and 2 tween dcs in June. We go on a sun hol half board, with breakfast and dinner in a package. I always put on weight due to having breakfast, a small lunch and wine with dinner. We eat dinner at 7pm so not too late.

I am 5ft 3, 53 years old,weigh 11 stone. I follow a loose version of the 16:8 to maintain this, not eating til 12pm and eating 2 meals a day.

I don't mind putting up the weight as weather is fine over the summer and I exercise a lot with walks, jogging. It comes off over a month.

For the past few years, I have taken a second sun hol in Sep/Oct with 2 relatives one 40 years and one 70s, also half board.

I find it much harder to get the weight down after it due to winter and not able to exercise as much outside. I work fulltine and don't have loads of time for gyms.

The two relatives eat breakfast, then nothing til dinner at 8pm. I tried this and was very hungry by dinner. I suggested getting dinner early and one laughed like as if I am greedy. The correct thing for me would be to skip breakfast and eat a lunch. This would make the waiting for 8pm dinner more bearable.

I am considering not going this year, as it looks odd not eating the breakfast. If i do eat breakfast I can't fast til 8pm and eat lots of calories with 3 meals.

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

Also when I go on hols with the relatives, one drinks very little. One will share wine with me and will drink more than her share. They go to pubs to get beer after but I don't love the wine in pubs so the wine with the meal is my only chance. I try ordering a different wine to them so as to get my small bottle to myself.

YANBU. I put on 10 pounds in the two months after a holiday last August and I still can’t shift it.

Do what works for YOU, not these people who treat you as if you’e greedy.

Bullshit.

I can’t imagine being this fixated on what i was going to eat and drink and at what time. Sounds bloody awful.

Just go out on your own for a light lunch to keep you going till 8 pm. And just have a coffee and something light at breakfast. It would be silly to miss the holiday if you usually enjoy it

Your problem is you subscribe to another of these insane theories about diet and health then when you eat more “normally” you perceive it to be bad and put weight on, not the holiday.

Honestly, don’t go. The whole holiday sounds like a chore you don’t want to do so just decline their invitation.
too much like hard work

I actually think you're not the problem but your relatives are. I would hate to be dictated what I can eat on holiday and when to that extent. It doesn't sound enjoyable so don't do it.

You can do or not do whatever you want. Why go if it does not make you happy, besides you seem to do all the compromising to fit in with them.

Why are none of you eating three meals a day? Don't you all get very hungry!

This. Why not just eat and drink what you want, just don't over indulge. I don't think you realise how messed up your relationship to food is.

How about committing to swim for 30 minutes or go to the gym everyday/other day? I hear what you are saying and putting on weight whilst I’m on holiday scares the shit out of me.
I get around this by not drinking too much (not a big drinker so this is easy), and exercising everyday, which tbh I enjoy.
I also make sure I fill my plate with salad/veg, good protein and only pick the carb option if I really want it. I don’t have the same restraint with desserts!!

@OhHelloMiss A “sun hol” is a sunny holiday. Usually you leave the UK and go to someplace where sun (and warmth) is guaranteed, like the coasts of Spain or Greece if you also want beaches, or Turkey. The goal is often to keep these holidays relatively inexpensive (though some people want a lot of luxury) - the goal is “sun” more than it is visiting something cultural, or going on a tour. That’s why all-inclusive (AI) resorts, that provide everything you need, including all your food and drink, are very popular for this. @merryhouse’s comment was a bit unkind, and she was saying she thought you should understand the meaning of “sun hol” because of the way that it was used in a sentence (context).

@merryhouse Don’t assume everyone has had the same experience as you, and English may not be their first language. Who knows.

Food is not controlling her life. It works better for her to skip breakfast and then have lunch and dinner, while her relatives want to eat breakfast and nothing else till late dinner.
She is contemplating not going on holidays with these relatives.
At 53, many people cannot eat like they did in their 20s.

My god, don’t go. It sounds so utterly joyless in every respect.

Mummyslittlegiraffe
Every other day exercising is not enough for me. I walk 20k steps each day on hols. When I am at home I jog every other day for 30mins and walk for an hour every other day while being as active as I can around fulltime work.

If I exercised every other day I would pile weight on.

I also fill up with salads, fish and have one scoop of ice cream on hols. I know I should cut out the 2 or 3 glasses of wine a night on hols.

They comment on overweight people, that's not nice. Plus you think you will look greedy if you order more wine, what's the point of travelling with such relatives? Vacations should be fun.

What's a sun hol? Am I being thick?

It all sounds like a lot of stress over nothing, really. You sound awfully controlling around food and drink, too. Can yu not just relax with all of the rules while away? Would it really hurt to have 3 decent sized meals a day for a week?

Bloody hell.
You sound high maintenance and not a lot of fun.
Going on on holiday should be pleasurable but not a chore.

I think you are making it all unnecessarily complicated! I am 5ft 6” and weigh 10.3 stone. I used to weigh 11 stone in sept last year. I am consistently losing weight as my target is 9.5 stone.

The key to losing weight and keeping it off is portion control and keeping your metabolism up. So have 2 eggs for breakfast ideally with mushrooms, tomatoes any other veg, no toast. Drink black coffee, no sugar or just water. Walk for 15 mins, about 30 mins after your meal. This helps with keeping your blood sugars stable. Keep active. At lunch grilled fish/chicken and lots of salad. Drink lots of water and stay hydrated. Again after 30 mins walk for atleast 15 mins. Then have a small fruit if you are hungry in the evening like some berries or an apple. Drink more water. At dinner time, eat protein and veg and small measured qty of carbs (Ideally the equivalent of half cup). You can eat one scoop of ice cream and wine at dinner but maybe restrict qty to 2 glasses. Walk again 30 mins post dinner. You will be less deprived and will actually lose weight. Thank me later! Most important stick to portion size for carbs.

Every bit of this post and the follow-ups made me sad, from the food rigidity to your relatives sneering about other people’s eating habits & bodies.

If you don’t want to go on holiday with these relatives, don’t go on holiday. It honestly doesn’t sound like you do. But if you want to go, find a meal schedule you can tolerate for a few days and tell them theirs just doesn’t work for you.

You sound unhealthily obsessed about eating times and weight. It’s ok to eat when you want, it’s ok to put some weight on.

It absolutely IS controlling her life.

Christ almighty the words hol and hols are just 😱😱😱no idea why but they really are irritating !

I think she sounds diligent and dedicated to good health.

It's not ok to put on weight when one already is battling weight-related medical conditions.

It’s a “sunny holiday” in a warm location, often at an all-inclusive resort. I put a much longer answer for someone about six comments above your question.