Fiancée going to Ibiza minus her engagement ring

[Amibeingcheated]

My fiancée is going to Ibiza without me and plans to leave her engagement ring at home to keep it safe.
is this a reasonable thing to do?
AIBU ~ it’s fine she is just keeping it safe
IANBU ~ don’t trust her

I'm also a bit confused by the people not taking rings on holiday because they might get robbed or it might fall off (how?!) when they're drunk. Don't you worry that could still happen at home?

Rings can fall off easier on holiday because you tend to be reapplying loads of sun cream all the time and going in the sea or the pool so it can easily slip off.

When you're at home you have a better chance of finding lost or stolen items again, I think. Or certainly I would feel that.

You can keep going back to look, staff might know you better as a regular and be more invested in you, you're able to chase up with venues or police more easily and in your own language.

I have a cheap replica ring for holidays. As mentioned above, this is purely so she does not need to worry about losing something precious in the process.

However, as others have said, you either trust her or you don’t!

My FIL never used to wear a wedding ring and cheated on MIL all the time.

Eventually they divorced and he remarried with one of the OW. He now always wears a wedding ring. It's a case study of one but take from it what you will.

Quite a lot of men don't wear wedding rings, especially the older generation. They don't all cheat.

My ex-husband used to wear his ring and cheat on me all the time - so ...

A ring of any sort is not a magic talisman that stops cheating.

If the person is going to cheat, they're going to, ring or no.

And why would this woman say she was leaving the ring, when she could just whip it off in Ibiza if she wanted to?

@category12 yep. Just a case study of one as I said. I only knew older men with wedding rings so it was a surprise FIL didn't have one. Till I found out what he was up to.

If she was planning on cheating surely she'd just take it off while out there rather than risk you getting suspicious.

Either you trust her or you don't. If you don't, do you both a favour and end the relationship.

Another post where if this was a woman posting about her fiancé wanting to leave his ring at home when going on a lads holiday he would be ridiculed and she would be told about how he is going to cheat on her and get his end away!

no surprise to me whatsoever that because this is a man posting it’s all “oh she obviously wants to keep it safe…” yeah ok lol🤣

OP my advice would be to sit and have a chat with her.. she may well want to play it safe but lets be honest.. people wouldn’t leave there wedding ring at home would they? This to me would be a dealbreaker and personally a red flag.. you can trust someone all you like, there’s nothing realistically stopping her wearing her ring.. you could suggest she take a little ring bag to keep it safe when taking it off to shower etc.. although realistically, how would she lose it if she’s supposed to be wearing it🤔?

it sounds like she wants to go and enjoy her last bit of freedom without the ring IMO, if this was a woman posting I can 100% say this would be the advice you’d be given.

an engagement ring is worn no differently to a wedding ring, you don’t see people going on say all girls/lads holidays or holidays as a family in general leaving them behind..

yes it would get me asking questions but I would be open and honest with her, give her suggestions and if she’s still arguing about not wanting to take it i personally think you have your answer 🤷‍♀️.

an engagement ring is worn no differently to a wedding ring, you don’t see people going on say all girls/lads holidays or holidays as a family in general leaving them behind..

I left my engagement ring behind to go travelling with a girlfriend last year. It has a big sparkly diamond on it and my wedding band is small and looks silver. I also left it at home when I went on holiday with the family earlier this year.

I have shagged no one but DH since he was a fiancé.

And please show me one single thread about a fiancé leaving his ring behind. Since men don't typically have them, and go on all male stags to places like Amsterdam and Prague, engagement rings should probably a thing for men too. But they aren't.

Another post where if this was a woman posting about her fiancé wanting to leave his ring at home when going on a lads holiday he would be ridiculed and she would be told about how he is going to cheat on her and get his end away!

Where are all these men wearing engagement rings? Most don’t wear one at all, and no one bats an eye at that.

Like most couples I know, my DH’s wedding band is a fraction of the cost of my engagement ring, less likely to be seriously damaged & more easily replaced. He’s understandably far less precious with it than I am my ring with stones. Now that I’m married I can leave my engagement ring off & just wear my band, but when we were engaged that wasn’t an option so I just went without when I didn’t want to wear the ring.

Neither of us made an issue of it because
a) he wasn’t wearing an engagement ring at all
b) we trust each other & wouldn’t have been engaged otherwise
c) we don’t have some bizarre idea that rings function like chastity belts

I think the issue is more about trust rather than somebody very sensibly not taking a valuable item on holiday. I never take my jewellery.

Taking an engagement ring away on holiday will not prevent people being unfaithful if they want to be unfaithful.

And if you can't trust her now, why are you marrying her?

And don't pretend it's men hitting on her. They'll do that throughout your marriage and you can't superglue yourself to her ankle forever.

And you know insecurity from a partner about your fidelity is irritating and insulting, right?

Is it a man posting?

I’m definitely male

So what do you think about the responses you've had, then?

Really interesting. I was very keen to get insight about how women think about it. It seems most are in the camp of “it’s fine she is just being careful with expensive jewellery”. A few clearly think I’m very jealous and untrusting, which im not.
this is a new situation for me and I really wanted thoughts and I have those.
I do really get the gender difference. If I said I was going to leave my wedding ring at home then I’m sure I would be dammed on here :-)

@AGoingConcern you may know loads of men who don’t wear one.. I know plenty of males who DO wear there engagement rings.. plenty of them males🤣! Such a ridiculous comment to make tbh. The point of this for OP is whether to take this pretty much as a red flag or not.. a lot of people would🤷‍♀️ a holiday away.. not wanting to wear the ring? Like I said.. if a woman posted this.. and a man was going on a lads holiday to say Ibiza and said “he didn’t want to wear his ring so he wouldn’t lose it” no one would believe him and rightly so🤣 why is this different because it’s a woman?

If I said I was going to leave my wedding ring at home then I’m sure I would be dammed on here :-)

Are you currently wearing an engagement ring?

@Amibeingcheated dont even answer the question by @MrsTerryPratchett as its a loaded trap question as you will be totally on the back foot about why you aren't wearing one, hounded about the patriarchy and men marking 'their women' etc and all sorts of other bullshit replies.

Yes it is. Hardly leaping out from behind a tree and yelling "PATRIARCHY", am I? It's a double standard, and that's the point I'm making.

And if he doesn't like the responses from feminist women, he can go to Reddit or a dozen other sites to be told that 'females' are bitches. He's here so he gets what he gets.

A wedding band is a bit different to a nobbly sparkly engagement ring though.

How many women want their man to propose to them without a ring unceremoniously whilst he's shaving and you're having a shower compared to how many women want that big rock and a big display? Thats a double standard in itself isn't it...

As I've already said, i never wear my ring due to work so it has been in its box since my wedding day but my husband does. If I posted he wanted to take it off to go on holiday to keep it safe (£2k ring) i would be deafened by cries of LTB, he's a cheat etc.

But there's an important difference. This fiancée is leaving NOT a plain wedding band but an engagement ring -which is likely fancier, and maybe with a raised stone that's more at risk of accidental damage than a flat band.

bluetopazlove · Today 07:22
@Bumblebun What are views on people removing their jewellery when being admitted to hospital ? Because I always remove my jewellery when taken into hospital (frequent flyer?)

Only really had one major surgery, mastectomy in 2016. No one raised the question at all.