Fiancée going to Ibiza minus her engagement ring

[Amibeingcheated]

My fiancée is going to Ibiza without me and plans to leave her engagement ring at home to keep it safe.
is this a reasonable thing to do?
AIBU ~ it’s fine she is just keeping it safe
IANBU ~ don’t trust her

You've got a lot to learn .

If she was intending to cheat a) noone would give a shit she had an engagement ring and b) if the ring would be an issue she could just swap it to a different finger or leave it in a safe in her room. I genuinely believe she's keeping it safe as she probably intends to get a bit tipsy, swim and sunbathe and doesn't want to lose it.

However if you don't trust her and genuinely think she might cheat I think you need to have a proper sit down and talk through your trust issues before getting married (or perhaps stop projecting...) it is very concerning you don't trust your future wife.

I'm clearly the odd one out, but I always take my engagement ring on holiday! But that's because I can't wear it for work, so holidays are the only time I get to wear it.

I also don't think you're BU to question it - taking your ring off to go to a party destination on the surface of it could seem suspicious.

I do take both my rings off all the time due to eczema on my fingers though and my DH doesn't bat an eyelid. I think the fact she's told you she's leaving it is the key point here. If she was planning to cheat, she wouldn't have pointed it out.

The thread is about an engagement ring - you know the sparkly thing which is more of a target for theft, more valuable if lost. Its not about a wedding ring. Women are also more likely to be targeted by thieves as vulnerable.

I would guess the women on the wedding ring thread, like me, have seen one too many men in hotels on business trips trying it on with the tell-tale white mark around their ring fingers.

Its silly to say "if it were a man" in a world in which men and women are treated entirely differently based on their sex.

I wouldn't take mine either. If bothers you that much get her a silicone one.

I rarely wear my rings in summer, my hands always swell when it's hot and I'd worry about losing them if I had to take them off anywhere other than at home

This! I've been married 34 years and wear neither an engagement or wedding ring, I just don't like the feel of jewellery! People are so wierd about this, like you're going to cheat just because you're not wearing a ring 🤣

I typically travel with only my wedding band. I’m not going to risk losing my most expensive & precious piece of jewelry in an ocean or whatever, and in many places I worry more about theft, especially when traveling with just girl friends.

Are you wearing an engagement ring? If not, is that a sign you’re going to be unfaithful?

@Amibeingcheated

This post says more about you than it does the lady.

You are either

very very insecure

or controlling...

Why on earth would it even enter your mind to question such a thing ?!!!

it is such a shame you don't trust her.

I really hope you spent a fortune on this ring i.e. £0000's !

as your fiancee seems to treasure it by wanting to keep it safe.

or of course maybe it's sentimental to her - being her engagement ring !

My dad has never possessed a wedding ring. He’s been married for 59 years.

My brother lost his wedding ring at the beach … on his honeymoon.

So no, I wouldn’t be bothered by a man leaving a wedding ring at home, to be honest.

Holidays are for primark jewellery. The only time I bring something expensive is for anniversary trips, for a special occasion dinner or outing. Then back in the safe.

You wouldn't be bothered and nor would I (my DH leaves his wedding ring at home when he does his sport). However, a lot of people on Mumsnet would be claiming it's dodgy and he's up to no good! O

Surely it's the change in behaviour that causes suspicions in these cases 'though.

If your husband has always left his wedding ring behind to play his sport, then of course it's not a worry.

If someone's husband always wore their ring and then suddenly changed the habit (unless there's a sparking incident like it getting damaged or nearly losing it), it's the change in behaviour.

Get her a £10 Argos one if you are bothered

I am so surprised at the number of posters who would leave their engagement ring at home. I never take my rings off and tbh would probably worry about burglary whilst away as opposed to losing them on holiday.

Men's rings are usually far less expensive and sentimental and many men just don't wear rings.

My dad never did and he was never a cheat. My mum wore hers and she did cheat. Neither DH or I even have rings.

to me, a ring isnt anything more than it being a gift which the recipient can choose when to wear. Gifts don't come with conditions like "you must always wear this".

If you can link some if these threads, I suspect the "D"H has previous.

Do you ever take off your own engagement ring?

I was assuming they lived together or live with family tbh.

You’ve not even made it down the aisle yet and you’re already paranoid about her going on holiday and cheating on you? Please don’t marry her, I have a feeling she’ll be miserable with your constant suspicion and so will you.

If there's no trust, a relationship is absolutely pointless, and if you’re thinking like that regularly, you should stay out of relationships until you work on it.

No I think she plans to get drunk and is scared she'll lose it or get robbed. If you want her to wear it as if she'd wear another ring on that finger while she's there.

Also, 'hook up' men don't tend to care if a woman is taken when they want to hook up wit her, in fact they see it as more of an ego boost. So I don't think her wearing an engagement ring will put anyone off in the same way it would put off most women if they saw a man had a wedding ring on.

I agree

I never take my rings off.

Sensible. I am so forgetful and always day dreaming. I'd come back minus the ring 💯

Sensible if it's expensive. I'm actually thinking about getting a silver cheap non precious stone ring to take on holiday

I forever take off my rings and forget where I've put them.

I wouldn't take my rings on holiday where there's likely to be drunken nights out plus I've heard all sorts about things being stolen from holiday accommodation.

My husband would understand and support my decision.

If a partner was planning to cheat then they'd more likely take said rings and simply take them off.

Quite honestly if you have trust issues now why are you even getting married as these issues can ruin a relationship.