Fiancée going to Ibiza minus her engagement ring

[Amibeingcheated]

My fiancée is going to Ibiza without me and plans to leave her engagement ring at home to keep it safe.
is this a reasonable thing to do?
AIBU ~ it’s fine she is just keeping it safe
IANBU ~ don’t trust her

@ICantLogIn so based on that logic it should never leave the house in case it gets lost, damaged, robbed etc?

Theft of jewellery in hospital is big business look up-online ,whether it's from other patients or health care staff .Even dead patients have been found with missing items . Some of them highly valuable .So sad .

Going on holiday abroad is a bit different to everyday living - it's kind of the point of a holiday.

I agree! When on holiday I am relaxing, doing nothing that could damage my ring which is the argument I was quoting so theres no reason to take it off as theres less risk I'm going to damage it by just chilling all day.

Ive just shown my husband this post and he knows nothing of mumsnet but said if this was a woman posting this it would be totally different replies.

OMG A MAN AGREES. Quick, close the thread.

My DH, since we're appealing to a higher male authority, knows I leave my engagement ring at home and doesn't care.

The stone fell out my engagement ring in the sea, so if I had my time again, I would have left it at home.

Maybe buy her a cheap not diamond ring for holiday?

I don't follow, sorry.
To be clear: I say nothing about the real or perceived loss of losing stuff in general. I'm only surmising that a flat ring's at lower risk of damage/loss than one that can catch on things and/or lose a stone - so I can understand people being more risk adverse about engagement rings than wedding bands. And therefore, (OP's fiancée) leaving an engagement ring makes perhaps more sense than (men in other posts you've seen) leaving a wedding ring.

And also, actually, the fiancée's ring is probably newer than most wedding rings, so I guess she still worries about losing it. That sense of risk fades after a while, doesn't it?

No, it's more likely on holiday that people are drinking, going swimming, visiting beaches, being a bit too relaxed if anything.

Tourists are a target for thieves, whereas at home you're more likely to know what areas (even who 😁) to look out for in your hometown.

Of course you can get your rings lost, damaged or stolen at home, but there isn't the additional problem of time limit, distance, language barriers etc.

I wear mine all the time

Engagement rings are different to wedding rings. Wedding rings - usually a simple gold band, maybe expensive but rarely look flashy flashy. Engagement rings usually are more expensive, look more expensive and have a big rock on the front that can (worst case scenario) fall out. So I don't think its comparable to a man (or woman) removing the ring. Plus, as others have said, men on the look out for a one night stand are not going to care.

So the "if this was a woman posting" doesn't make as much sense as its usually much rarer for men to have engagement rings.
To be honest - a man or woman taking their ring off before a holiday isn't that sus. Seeing a photo of your man/woman on holiday without the ring is way more suspicious. I think a thread along those lines would be different.

If you don't trust her then a ring isn't going to make a difference. Wedding rings are completely different though. They are usually just a ring no stones etc. No practical reason not to wear a wedding ring. If I am doing something where my engagement ring may get bashed I will take it off but will always wear my wedding ring.

If a man was unusual enough to have a diamond engagement ring worth a grand or more, the replies would be the same.

A plain gold band is less likely to get damaged, less likely to get stolen, and easier to replace.

A wedding ring is a very different piece of jewellery. It isnt the equivalent of an engagement ring.

Really? You know plenty of straight men who wear engagement rings prior to the wedding? Do they often have stones like the average woman’s engagement ring? I’d love to know where you live that this is so common.

Some of @CrazyHedgehogLover's friends:

I have lost my engagement ring (and wedding ring) twice now while on holidays/camping and was very lucky in both instances to get them back. I also don’t like wearing rings or bracelets/watches or anything on my lower arms and hands in general. For this reason I no longer wear them except on special occasions and keep them safe in my drawer! My husband often doesn’t wear his wedding ring either and I don’t care. It’s a piece of jewellery not an impregnable anti-cheating device.

I do like Ryan's rings, though, I'd wear them myself. And would not take the diamonds to the beach or Ibiza's night spots!

You are insecure though because a secure person would never think twice about this.

She said she doesn't want to lose it. If you were secure you wouldn't be posting.

@AGoingConcern yes😅 my husband was obviously one of them.. plenty of men that our in our friendship circle also wear engagement rings. You may not know “anyone who does” just because you don’t doesn’t mean it’s fact and that men don’t wear them😊..

if anything it’s quite common for men to wear them, yes granted some men don’t but majority of men that I know who are engaged made a point of buying one for there fiancé and one for them..

it also doesn’t matter what type of ring it is🤣! Your clutching now, any ring can go missing.. any ring can get damaged. Just because it had a diamond on it doesn’t make it any less likely for something to happen to it!

honestly these replies are entertaining and I definitely stand by if this was a woman posting about a man the replies would be LTB🤣

@CrazyHedgehogLover I agree with you, unpopular as it may be. When its comes to the right and wrongs of this issue, if you think its about trust etc. I have time for that argument, but I don't buy that for a man the consensus would be 95% YABU. Maybe 50:50, maybe 75:25 but no way would it return almost unanimous verdict. My husband has been on several golf trips, I've seen several group photos where certain individuals go to great lengths to ensure their wedding ring is on display for when the pics are circulated. I am not naïve to what goes on in certain golf trips with 24 blokes, and if my husband decided to leave his ring, I would struggle to accept it. I do trust him, but it definitely could be a small hint of an intention for groups of women to see him as available, and value and fear of losing it could be interpreted as a bit of a cover story. I'd be lying if that wouldn't niggle me, even though I know I can trust him.

I understand the argument to about not risking an expensive ring, so the hypothetical man and a much cheaper wedding band isn't comparable. But essentially, this argument is about cost v feelings. I.e. the ring is a £10k diamond beauty so it should stay at home; the value and perceived risk trumps the concerns and insecurities of OP, whereas the hypothetical mans wedding ring is a £100 bland gold ring so the feelings and insecurities of hypothetical mans wife trump the risk of a lower value ring. Its not a moral argument, its an underwriting risk assessment. That's fair, but be honest.

I never take my engagement ring or wedding ring on holiday as I nearly lost them when I was on the beach one year. I've bought some lovely costume rings from the jewellers to wear instead that I wouldn't be too bothered about if I lost or damaged them. Maybe you could buy her some to wear so she's still showing she's spoken for if that's what you're worried about. That's only if she wants to wear them that is.

Depends!! :
Does she wear it in holiday when you go away together? If she does then she has lighting you!!

100%
if a woman posted that her fiancé was leaving his engagement / wedding ring behind and off to a place like Ibiza there would be uproar of LTB, he’s cheating etc!

My sister just lost her very expensive engagement ring in a train car park and has not been able to find it.
She's hoping to get a cheaper replacement when they go to buy their rings for the wedding.
It's not unreasonable to want to keep an engagement ring at home for safe keeping.
They really can be lost easily! Especially if you take them off for washing hands/hand cream etc.
Especially when flying as my fingers swell up so I wouldn't wear it, but would put it in a pocket of my bag instead.