Fiancée going to Ibiza minus her engagement ring

[Amibeingcheated]

My fiancée is going to Ibiza without me and plans to leave her engagement ring at home to keep it safe.
is this a reasonable thing to do?
AIBU ~ it’s fine she is just keeping it safe
IANBU ~ don’t trust her

Fucking hell. Do you even trust her at all? If she wants to fuck another man, she's going to do it. Where her engagement ring is would be irrelevant.

You, sir, are the red flag.

She’s keeping her jewellery safe - look, if she wanted to cheat on you, a) I don’t think she’d tell you she was taking her ring off and leaving it at home b) she’d just take it off at the hotel c) she’d keep it on and do it anyway.

Does she know she’s engaged to someone this suspicious and paranoid?

Reading this thread, I must be the only person who never ever takes my rings off.

Would we all be quite so defensive of a man intent on leaving his wedding ring behind? Generally engagement rings are a lot more expensive than wedding bands, but in principle?

I never ever wear my engagement ring when I go away. It's too precious. (And expensive).

I wear my wedding ring though.

Are there any reasons why you don't trust her?

My husband doesn't even wear one, ever, and I couldn't care less. Maybe I should put a brand on his forehead to show my ownership. 🙄

Yeah. It’s not a nice thing to think about but my husband could be having an affair with the neighbour while wearing his wedding ring. Lots of people have affairs knowing the person is married or engaged or whatever, a ring won’t stop them. I’m sure many husbands leave their rings at home to do eg physical jobs, sports, take the kids swimming etc and some don’t even wear one at all. A ring won’t stop cheating, only your spouse/partner can stop cheating happening.

My husband's is upstairs with mine. He doesn't have to wear it if he doesn't want to.

Tbh she could say goodbye to you then slip it in her pocket every day of the week.
Saying she's leaving it at home rather than take it and risk losing it or getting mugged for it is not in itself suspicious.

If she wants to cheat, she will. Whether the ring is in the same country as her or not

Has she given you reason to think she has been or would be unfaithful?

@Marshly @Aquamarine1029 I agree with you actually. The ring wont stop him/her cheating and it could be viewed as an ownership branding. But if the hypothetical husband wore is ring 24/7, then decided he'd leave it behind for a lads holiday, are you sure that the verdict here would be quite so unanimous?

No idea as i don't know your fiancee.

Wouldnt occur to me to know or even discuss if i am or will be wearing my rings with my husband and vise versa.

If you are worried that she is going to cheat then there are bigger issues here. A ring on a finger wont stop that happening!

Yeah, we don’t wear wedding bands/rings either. They aren’t magic rings of protection against one night stands. Anyone with or without a ring on can get casual sex if they want it.

I think I’ve been chatted up more when wearing my engagement ring! It definitely doesn’t hold special men repellant powers.

I can’t speak for everyone on the thread, I can only say my answer would be the same. Taking a ring on holiday is a risk and if it’s lost there’s no chance of finding it in the sea or whatever. Like I say, I think the fact she’s leaving it at home shows she really does think it’s a risk rather than her wanting to cheat, or she would just take it off there and leave it in her hotel room. I’d say the same to a woman worried about a man cheating or a man worried about a man cheating or a woman worried about a woman cheating - which this could be.

Completely reasonable.

I accidentally left my engagement ring in a hotel in Cannes. The manager was lovely and honest, and said I could arrange for a courier to collect it, but no courier would insure it.

I had to fly back to Cannes to collect it in person.

Much better leave it at home for safe keeping.

I’ve done this but got a cheap fake ring to wear instead. I’d be so upset if I damaged it when I got a bit drunk

1 so I would reduce my chances of being approached ( didn’t knock too many guys off trying )

and 2, my hub said I didn’t need to bother getting a fake ring but I think it was just a decent thing to do

I haven’t worn my engagement or wedding ring for years, it doesn’t mean I’m out shagging half the town.

You don’t trust her. Even a concern (although you created an account with that username, so don’t kid yourself it’s only a concern not a belief) means you don’t trust her. Break it off with her before she goes to Ibiza and she can at least have some rebound sex.

My husband calls me his undercover wife because I rarely wear my rings 😂 honestly I was always taking them on and off for cleaning, gym, swimming etc and forgetting where I put them so I just keep them in a jewellery box now. I would never take them on holiday in case I lost them.

I regularly go on holiday without my husband or my rings and have never even thought of cheating x

Are you usually as insecure as your username would suggest?

A wedding band is a very different thing though, isn't it? From a purely practical point of view, they're damned hard to damage!

As such I would very much raise an eyebrow at anyone, man or woman, who left their wedding ring behind.

I have a bombproof platinum and diamond solitaire so I wear it everywhere. If I had a halo setting or pavé diamonds I wouldn’t wear it to the beach. I have a diamond and sapphire 3 stone ring I also wouldn’t wear to the beach so that gets left at home for activity or beach holidays. Sapphire is much more easily scratched than diamond.

@WhereYouLeftIt yes I agree, but then you're defending this on the value rather than trust. I.e. the guy needs to accept his jealousy is outweighed by the risk of losing the high value item, but when the item is lower value, his jealousy outweighs the item? And of course they'd be married rather than just engaged, but how much more of a serious offense is cheating on a spouse than a fiancé?

I do think the OP is being a little paranoid, but I can also see the outrage if someone's DH was off to Ayia Napa or an Algarve golf trip and decided they didn't want to risk taking their wedding ring. I still think there would be a good proportion that would tell OP to not be so paranoid, and that a ring is no chastity belt (male version?) but I still think there would be several posters who would have spidey senses tingling.

I had two precious rings stolen in Spain. I'm much more careful now.

You think men in Ibiza are that noble they'll swerve a woman who's wearing a ring signifying commitment? You think that her removing it signifies her intent to shag?

If she wanted to cheat, she could do it on her lunch break, or a 2 minute shag with a randomer on a girls night out in the disabled loos.

I don't have expensive jewellery but if I did, I would leave it at home as well. Apart from loss, it could make her a target for a mugging or a mugging plus worse.