To think that men get a ridiculously bad rap on this site?

[MsLuxLisbon]

It is really depressing to read post after post after post knocking men, saying how awful and useless they are, saying they are mostly lazy, selfish sex pests, etc. That has not only not been my experience, but it hasn't been ANY of my friends' or family's, either. The odd bad man, sure, just as my male friends have dated bad women. But not enough to justify this bizarre generalisation.

And neighbours.

@SeriaMau and MILs!

No they aren't. They are *mostly told that they are a drain on their husband and they should be doing the vast majority in the house. They are reminded of the pressure their OH must be under solely supporting a family financially. They are not mostly supported AT ALL especially for the past few years with the influx of DM readers signing up. When I first joined Mumsnet it was 50/50 with regard to views on SAHM's, now its most definitely not.
In the opposite case as in SAHD, he is respected if he does the vast majority of house and childcare. However, what's more usual is the SAHD is available for the kids until the wife gets home then she takes over, cooks tea etc. If she complains then she is told he needs a break as he has been with the children all day. Women cannot win in that respect.
If he does absolutely nothing all day every day (kids in school/nursery) THEN he is called a cocklodger, unless he is looking for a job. Then thats perfectly acceptable and it's up to the woman to make sure everythings sorted so he can crack on in peace.
Thats the culture on Mumsnet. A site predominantly for women. Quite sad really.

Not all men are like that but you have to wonder why so many women feel that way. There are plenty of men that are lazy etc I'm lucky as my husband isn't at all. So there you go lol
It also doesn't mean that women can't be as bad but then this is mumsnet, a place to vent and I'm guessing there aren't as many men on here.

Women are not 'my sisters'.

And with one post, you made your entire agenda clear. You see women as the enemy. Yes, no doubt about it, you certainly don't see women as your sisters. The misogyny coming from and the loathing of women, feminism and sisterhood is palpable.

Well I disagree with you, but maybe you read more threads than me?
Certainly that is my opinion based on the threads which I have read since I joined.

I've heard those stats. I live on a main road that leads to one of the major Scottish stadiums so it has a lot of bars that tailor to those fans. It doesn't matter whether they win or lose, they pile into the bars pre/post-match and rile themselves up into a frenzy thinking they're masters of the universe. That energy needs to go somewhere. On a good night, they just turn on each other and get arrested before they make it home.

I have honestly never seen a woman complaining that she is pregnant because a man didn't use a condom. In almost all cases where a woman posts that she has had unprotected sex and gets pregnant she will describe the behaviour as "stupid" or "irresponsible". Women also have the option to terminate so an unplanned pregnancy does not have to become a baby if the woman doesn't want that.

As a PP said the complains about unplanned pregnancies nearly always come from men who haven't taken any responsibility for contraception. Ejaculate Responsibly by Gabrielle Blair offers an interesting perspective on this issue.

Maybe. You don't have to look far to see blatant misogyny on Mumsnet though. The recent threads, including this one, about how shit women are is just the tip of the iceberg. It's in every thread now. The worst are posters (men and women) currently stalking the relationships board encouraging women to just do better with abusive men.
I came on here when I was ill and knackered years ago and it's awful now. I should probably step away for my blood pressure but I like to scroll away on my days off and daren't download tiktok!

But - nothing happens in a vacuum, very few people are neatly ‘abusive men’ or ‘victimised women’, I have enormous experience in this topic and usually the truth is nearer one or the other but not a black/white issue.

FFS this is a womens site where women talk about matters of importance to them. For many heterosexual women who partner/parent with men there will be many difficulties/challenges they want/need to discuss. All women regardless of their sexuality/relationships are vulnerable to male violence, and way too many women and girls sadly have suffered direct and all too real harm and abuse at the hands of violent men.

That's without getting into the realm of all them men who aren't violent but think you need a vagina to wash the dishes etc.

I'm glad women have this vital space to discuss these issues. Many women have all too many reasons to not like men or want to avoid them.

Good for you having wonderful relationships with all the men in your life. I also have wonderful realationships with men, including many friendships and working realtionships several decades long. I also have been raped, and have been in an abusive relationship with a man. So I'll rant about that all I want thanks.

So start your threads singing the praises of men by all means, but leave women alone who are trying to process and understand the harm done to us via our relationships with men, and the impact of male violence agaisnt women & children.

Given half a moment to think about this, there are many many reasons why women might want to diss men online & let off steam is a rare place on the internet DESIGNED FOR AND BUY WOMEN!

I'm going to be honest and I don't want to appear too rude but, I have no idea how to respond to this. I don't understand why you typed it out.
If I was speaking about abusive women, I would say 'abusive women'. Much like above. I am talking about abusive men so have used the term 'abusive men'. Is that clear? I did it for ease.
I do not want to get into the women are just as abusive bullshit if thats what your itching for.

I stopped coming on the site for a while because it frustrates me how sexist it is.

Many of the replies are based solely on whether the OP (or who the OP is talking about) is male or female.

There have been almost identical threads but by/about different sexes and the responses are the opposite.

If OPs stopped putting in the sexes, the replies would be a lot less biased.

This bears repeating.

Oh thank God, another one of these threads.

FFS this is a womens site where women talk about matters of importance to them.

I always thought the main premise of mumsnet was it being a site for parents and parents can be male or female.

The site condenses all experience with men into the very worst. That's the point. It's a place where women can vent, share, reach out, ask for help, when they may have no other options. And women who've been there can advise and warn from their own experience. The majority kind decent gentle loving supporting men aren't the ones women need that help with. It's simple. It's not all men - but it's a place where that sort of man is quite rightly discussed.

It's a female driven site. It is bound to have a high level of bias.

the clue is in the name.

Men are welcome, as are women without children. But predominantley it is aimed at and used by WOMEN.

If by ‘bias’, you mean, ‘not censoring their experiences of male ill-treatment’, sure.

I think they just get what's REALITY.
Most people would probably be embarrassed to be blunt in real life.
And yes, no man will ever step over MY threshold
again.
Apart from tradespeople 😁

If by ‘bias’, you mean, ‘not censoring their experiences of male ill-treatment’, sure.

yeah this ^^

Mumsnet is a fantastic resourse for so many women. Pity so many other women feel they can or need to police women in this relatively rare female dominated website.

There is room for all of us - you do you and leave us who want to rant/rage about men alone!!!

wander over to Piston Heads or where ever the men hang out online these days (like FB menopause and breastfeeding groups) and see how they talk about women.

"bias" my arse.

Our aim is to:

Make parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support.

We try, as far as possible to let the conversation flow and not to over-moderate. Mumsnet is a site for grown-ups.

Mumsnet needs to change its basic information then. It says parents not mums. It's an unfortunate choice of name for the site if it's meant to be fir women but then parentsnet doesn't role of the tongue.

Take your complaint to Trading Standards then. Tell them about how all the big scary mummies are mean to you.