To think that men get a ridiculously bad rap on this site?

[MsLuxLisbon]

It is really depressing to read post after post after post knocking men, saying how awful and useless they are, saying they are mostly lazy, selfish sex pests, etc. That has not only not been my experience, but it hasn't been ANY of my friends' or family's, either. The odd bad man, sure, just as my male friends have dated bad women. But not enough to justify this bizarre generalisation.

Have you never seen how men all over the internet speak about and to women? It's not criticism, it's rape threats, death threats, utter loathing for women who aren't subservient sex objects. Reddit is just one example.

Women criticising the behaviour of men as a class does them no harm whatsoever. Women do not hold institutional power around the world, nor do we have physical power over men. What you see here (and precious few other sites) is pattern recognition. And yet every time, there will be someone, some MRA type, popping up to proclaim Not All Men Are Like That, and how unfaiiiir it is that women dare recognise publicly that yes, far too many men are like that.

Exactly. Plus it is also as the previous poster said, bad women get a huge pass on here. A great example is Katie Price, people fall over themselves to make excuses for her vile behaviour.

And by acknowledging there is an issue with men ,its about trying to address it and find a solution. I wish the good men would work hard to try and help with this, rather than say ,not all men, its not me.

There really wouldn't be an outcry.

I'm sure there are plenty of lovely internet spaces where men do write the opposite and I'm pretty confident it's way way nastier than anything you would ever read here.

If you would like an example of how some men discuss women try looking at UK Punting where men rate and review sex workers

For sure, I do think this forum has a generally overblown issue with: men, trans population and state schools. That list that probably be added to.

Quick, ring the Oxford Dictionary and let them know that 'a lot' has been redefined to mean 0.25%!
That's correct - if 83,000 men are in prison, that's a quarter of a percent. How on Earth is that a 'lot'?

Yes, it's a lot more than women - but it's not a lot of bad men in society at all.

My favourite is when people say 'if women ran the world, there'd be peace'. Lol.

Well you and your bubble of friends should count yourselves lucky. You shouldn’t be “lucky” but rest assured men are not getting a bad rap on here - it’s reflective of my experience and that of and many others whom I know from a wide range of backgrounds. Part of it is women are only just waking up to how low the bar is for men and deciding to not put up with it any longer

We're not 'lucky'. Women on this site seem to be spectacularly unlucky, which is what I was saying in the first place.

No one is or has ever said the majority of men are raping murdering arseholes. The majority of humans on the planet do not commit crime. We are talking about the ones that do, and the majority of THOSE ones are men. Why can't we speak about those ones without being shouted down by the NAMALTS? 83k or whatever the figure is still too many.

So many posters recently hating the way men are spoken about on this site. Why not try the rest of the internet then? It’s pretty much just this site where you are even allowed to say anything vaguely derogatory about men.
Even this one gets targeted though….

That's fine, but likewise when men post or when women post about their men doing a good thing, everyone tends to jump on and give them stick.
Can't have it both ways!

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What I've seen is you'll perhaps get 1 or 2 posters unhappy it's a man posting but the majority are welcoming. Provided he didn't Mansplain of course!

In fact there is a thread running from a dad right now where I'd say 99.999% of replies are massively supporting of him. Poor guy is being treated like a Walking Wallet by his wife.

I don't think you can say it hasn't been any of your friends or families experience... you simply don't know what goes on behind closed doors!
A relationship that may look excellent on the outside may not be as rosy as you imagine.

YABU

I think a big issue is that many of the women on here are mums, including new mums. And I don’t know a single friend who hasn’t had issues with their husband pulling their weight. Myself included.

Women are expected to work, many still full time, but still do the majority of the childcare and carry the mental load of organisation.

It is a genuine issue not to be dismissed. My therapist said she used to be a couples’ counsellor and the same issue comes up again. Women want men to take initiative and help. But men need instructions.

Women are exhausted.

Humanity has a grim side. Not just masculinity. I know that bad things happen in the world, because PEOPLE are imperfect. Not just men.

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Where is anyone disputing that? Some behaviour however is either carried out solely or overwhelmingly by men.

We need to talk about that

I’m telling you… you are. Clearly you mix in a very narrow circle if you think otherwise. And downplaying the reality of other women is basic misogyny in itself

Why do people want to be 'vaguely derogatory' towards anyone, though? What's the point? I still maintain that it is ridiculous to go on about men the way a lot of women on this site do. People have talked about me and other likeminded posters being in a bubble, but I think the real bubble is that of the embittered women who have had bad experiences and want to make other women believe that their man cheating or being abusive is inevitable. I've seen it time and again. Misery loves company.

I've seen a couple like that over the years but as I'd disagree with the title I probably would scroll on.

But for every one like that there are 10 which are not generalisations

You're very lucky then OP...or you have blinkers on
I work at women's aid and our phone lines never stop and we are behind with call backs because theres so many. There's also male behaviour that is not picked up on because it is part of everyday life to women, misogyny, sexism, objectification etc. thats the patriarchy, we have been conditioned to fit into these male ideals so may not see the day to day misogyny for example. It happens, its active. You just have to see it.

Absolutely agree on the misogyny

It's like policing of a town centre on a weekend night, yes there will be some groups of woman who are out of control or individuals getting into arguments. But overwhelmingly the police are there to police the behaviour of males. But people want to say , those few woman also do that.

Thank you, that's it exactly.

Like the people who keep claiming women are dirtier and leave toilets in a far worse state than men do.
Bizarre.

”But not all men…”

It s so sad to see that privileged women who haven’t been victimised by men prefer to belittle and deny other women’s experiences of abuse rather than using their position to help their sisters.

Rather than telling women to shut up, why not tell the “good men” to step up?

You could say the same about women who claim that their bad relationships are all their husband's fault, though.