To think that men get a ridiculously bad rap on this site?

[MsLuxLisbon]

It is really depressing to read post after post after post knocking men, saying how awful and useless they are, saying they are mostly lazy, selfish sex pests, etc. That has not only not been my experience, but it hasn't been ANY of my friends' or family's, either. The odd bad man, sure, just as my male friends have dated bad women. But not enough to justify this bizarre generalisation.

It is really depressing to read news story after news story reporting of yet another woman being beaten, raped, murdered or any combination of the 3.

It really is depressing to read news story after news story of men who have committed beatings, rapes, murders (or any combination of the 3) against women being let out early from prison, being given a short sentence, not jailed at all, or not even brought to court.

It really is depressing to read MRA/NAMALT BS on this site, complaining about this site and how adept we are pointing out how shit/criminal many mens’ behaviour is

Oh wait, I think the word I was looking for that last paragraph isn’t ‘depressing’ but ‘hilarious’

What is it about all these 'poor men' threads at the moment?

How many women are killed each week by men in the U.K.?

Bad rap.

It is mainly Women who are unhappy in relationships who post here so obviously a biased sample. This is well known and has all been gone through before.

There is also a lot of examples of women hating on women.

The fact that. It's anonymous means that people can be a lot more cutting.

@MsLuxLisbon "AlcoholSwab
The old saying, if all you do is meet arseholes then you are the arsehole, rings true for a lot of the misandrist brigade on here.

Women who complain that all men are bastards are dysfunctional individuals who are probably just as awful as the men they claim to meet.

THIS!!"

Yeah but who is actually saying all men are bastards on MN? I suspect nobody or very very few.

Same rationale as your 'defending' all men because a few are abusive.

I mean, just because you ‘dislike the negativity’ doesn’t mean others have to stop. Just scroll on by.
Also, ‘Unhelpful’ to whom?

Unhelpful to women who are in bad relationships to be told that 'they all suck'. It just is so relentlessly negative and actually might lead a woman in such a relationship to think 'better the devil you know'.

Unhelpful to women who are in bad relationships to be told that 'they all suck'. It just is so relentlessly negative and actually might lead a woman in such a relationship to think 'better the devil you know'.

Being in a relationship is not the be all or end all, so your premise is skewed.

Some people feel the need to be in a relationship, though. I agree with you that it's not the be all and end all, but not everyone feels that way. I think that mentioning what a good man and good relationship looks like is more helpful than making silly generalisations like 'relationships are better for men than for women' etc. Depressing, inaccurate, and fails to take into account individual personalities.

But there is absolutely that balance if you look at MN as whole! Lots of examples of posters talking about the great men in their lives.

The solution to other posters sharing their awful experiences with an OP going through a rough time isn't for those people not to share. The solution is instead for this apparently vanishingly small yet by the sounds of things highly active, group of shit men to pull their socks up and stop treating women in their lives so badly.

making silly generalisations like 'relationships are better for men than for women' etc. Depressing, inaccurate

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health

life and relationships would be more beneficial for all if sexual violence was eliminated but I supposed it might be accurate silly to point out the statistics on which sex commits what %

I wonder how old you are OP? I'm in my 60s and have to admit that the older I have got the more I have grown to dislike men in general. When I was younger I suppose I did buy into all the gender role stuff and now after years and years of seeing how my life has been affected by living in a patriarchal society I do find men to be a huge disappointment in general. I have a husband who I love and an adult son who so far seems to be shaping up to be a respectful, kind husband and father but to be honest, I do think that men have a huge sense of entitlement and most of them believe themselves to be superior to women. Some of them just hide it better!

As for the awful and abusive relationships that are often reported on here, I have always told my 2 daughters that men only get away with treating women like crap because women let them. If we don't stand up to it, nothing will change

I think it's that way because most people who post are coming here for thoughts and opinions on specific issues they are having, so it's mostly negative. I do think some mumsnetters automatically give men a hard time, but on the whole I think most are fair. On the odd occasion a man comes here for advice, you can see who is being fair, and who isn't, quite clearly.

Relationships are better for men on average than women. Married men live longer than single men. Evidence suggests it's because their wives encourage better health behaviour. Here's an Irish article but there's plenty of UK research on it.

emdoc.ie/do-married-men-really-live-longer/

One of the best things about mumsnet is the high expectations women have of men. So women are told to ditch the rubbish ones.

It's much better than the old accepting "oh they're all a bit selfish etc, but what can you do?"

It's not the OP necessarily that is the problem. It's the massive dumping on him from the forum. Normal behaviour is touted as abuse. Grumpiness or gruffness is abuse. Asking to have sex is abuse. Being moody is abuse. Not thinking of the woman 100% of the time is abuse. It's frankly misandry. The same behaviours are also seen in women and yet these are always blamed on the man for not pulling his weight even when a poster says he does much much more than she does.

68000 rapes reported to the police last year. Let that sink in. Namalt but too many are, that figure is shocking!

Normal behaviour is not touted as abuse.
Abuse is touted as abuse and rightly so. Women in happy relationship don't post "my dh didn't do the shopping when he was supposed to" then seriously consider any demented response saying "well, he's an arsehole and you should leave him"

All people mostly want support, affection and effort in a relationship. If you're not getting that as either a man or a woman then you'll be in an unhappy relationship.
In my experience, many women provide this and men don't.

Which is good, we all need standards. Though from reading mumsnet I'd say women tend not to have high standards initially or they wouldn't have married the dead beats.

Married men live longer than single men.

Neither a good or bad thing, as long as you're enjoying your life does it matter.

Though from reading mumsnet I'd say women tend not to have high standards initially or they wouldn't have married the dead beats.

Well yes, a lot of us get caught up in rubbish relationships. Thankfully I learned how to get out of it here.

I agree, I'm in my 40's now and I see my friends and others getting divorced and supposedly great husbands just up and leave their wives and children because of affairs, or leave their wives/girlfriends because family life is too hard. You see it more as you get older and I have no time for shitty men anymore.

On your last point, I agree to an extent but there are a myriad of reasons why women stay in abusive relationships and it's far from the. Letting them treat them like shit.

Some people feel the need to be in a relationship, though
And they don’t want the bar set to high? 🤔

Women in happy relationship don't post "my dh didn't do the shopping when he was supposed to" then seriously consider any demented response saying "well, he's an arsehole and you should leave him"

Women in happy relationships don’t make posts complaining their partner forgot to do a chore full stop. They just talk to their partner and get them to get on with it not set them up for a bunch of people online to slag off.

Yup. That minority are pretty busy

No, stop putting words in my mouth. I literally said that 'mentioning what a good man and good relationship looks like' is better than saying that all men are crap. Nothing about setting the bar low.