To think that men get a ridiculously bad rap on this site?

[MsLuxLisbon]

It is really depressing to read post after post after post knocking men, saying how awful and useless they are, saying they are mostly lazy, selfish sex pests, etc. That has not only not been my experience, but it hasn't been ANY of my friends' or family's, either. The odd bad man, sure, just as my male friends have dated bad women. But not enough to justify this bizarre generalisation.

That's lovely for you.

Unfortunately some of us clearly make bad life choices to happen upon the very few bad men that do bad things.

This is the sort of comment that I meant when I said that misery loves company. 'Pride comes before a fall'? Really? You think that I am going to be cheated on because I am in a happy relationship? That says a LOT about you. If I was harrassed on a train at night, I wouldn't post about in on here, I would contact the police.

Yes, women get a free pass on here. Thats why there’s all the lovely threads about MILs…

And school staff (predominantly women)…

That rather says it all

Oh dear, humanist/equalist, one word you don't know the meaning of and the other isn't even a word. I suspect you mean egalitarian.

It's obvious you don't know what feminism actually means.

You don't really think good men are impressed by "I'm not like other girls" do you?

I'm not interested in impressing men. How misogynist of you to think that that's what I care about.

I'm not interested in impressing men. How misogynist of you to think that that's what I care about

More interested in tearing down women.

You're nearly there, I think - because the positive threads don't get anywhere near the traction (or, worse, attract posters who try to convince women that they're wrong about their husbands, and they're actually abusive etc), those posts are indirectly discouraged - so fewer of them are created in the first place.

As I said back on the first page, it's a feedback loop. The Internet is a curious place, and this site is no exception (despite the desire to see it as otherwise). All it takes is a little push, and any social media site goes from "reasonably balanced" to "completely skewed" in a heartbeat, and they never go back.

Also, without exception, the people whose views are supported by that bias suddenly forget that you can't believe everything you read on the Internet, because people almost never post stuff that they think might portray themselves in a poor light.

Hence you get so many posts on this thread to the effect of "I think most men are awful, so everybody else who says their man is awful is telling the truth".

Why think outside her own experience most people on here don't which is why men come out so badly. Most people are posting about bad relationships.

If you went on a board full of people who'd been bitten by dogs you shouldn't be surprised that dogs get a bad name no matter how loveable yours is.

You could say the same about women who claim that their bad relationships are all their husband's fault, though.

@MsLuxLisbon oh please do tell me how I caused my ex-husband to cheat on me and abuse me! And how his current wife is suffering the same way I did? How is his appalling behaviour our fault?

i do take issue with this. When someone says (simplistically) "all wars were started by men since the dawn of time" i can guarantee within minutes someone will plop triumphantly down into the thread "ha! Margaret Thatcher"

and true - Thatcher sent our lads off 9000 miles to take back a disputed set of islands that had been invaded by another country.

then maybe someone else will bring up: Boudicea, maybe Helen of Troy, maybe Golda Maier.

Which completely misses the key point that we know about Thatcher because she is the ONE woman that anyone knows about. And that isn't because there are so many others we've forgotten their names. It is because all wars in history were started by men. With so few exceptions that they are completely, utterly statistically irrelevant.

oh dear. Are you new to this? Feminazi is so last century. We are Feminazgûl now.

Right. You do you hun.

I see women on those threads come in for quite a lot of criticism as well as support. The women are usually posting because they are ashamed of their actions, they will get support because most posters with children can empathise with the feelings of exhaustion and being overwhelmed. It's rarely a repeating pattern of behaviour, parents who regularly lose their temper with their kids don't ask for advice or support because sadly it's just normal to them.

The posts will often include quite a lot of context which usually includes the woman working, doing all the housework and childcare and often getting little support or time for herself.

Women rarely post about a father who raises his voice once, it's often an escalating pattern of behaviour towards the child/children. We can't possibly know how the men doing it see their behaviour because they don't post. We do know that many men do not contribute equally to child rearing or domestic chores but seem to run out of patience for it quite quickly if they have to do anything in either of those spheres.

Have you read what men write about woman?

I think we're pretty tame in comparison.

I've never seen a thread by a man about the horrible way other men talk about women, unless it's just to agree with them and add some.

LOL NO! Are you on crack?

I am mid sixties and my DH and I are what you might call traditional in our roles and both quite happy there but since reading mn i have realised that it's been unequal especially regarding childcare and household tasks so now things have changed because I see if he's being an arse I don't have to accept his behaviour so I pull him up on it and things are now more equal. It is good to see it as not helping me just doing what needs to done without instructions. I don't think all men are bad but lots are.

I was sexually abused as a child by my stepfather. Do I think all men are paedophiles?no I don't, but I know they are all capable of it.

Hardly an unreasonable conclusion, you seem to be blaming women for incels gravitating towards people like Andrew Tate.

If only we were nicer to men they would be nicer to women.

First rule of misogyny: women are responsible for what men do.

Any idea why men are so violent towards each other? Are women responsible for that too?

Perhaps you could credit men with intelligence and agency and stop making excuses for the arseholes, it's an insult to the decent ones.

This is one of the few spaces on the internet where women can speak freely without men censoring, threatening or piling on abuse when a female says something he doesn't like.

That your first reaction is to discredit and disbelieve twenty+ years of independent stories of abuse, assaults, feckless, controlling and shitty behaviour says more about you than the posters coming here for support.

I think all woman should read the book the freedom program by pat craven.

". If I was harrassed on a train at night, I wouldn't post about in on here, I would contact the police." @MsLuxLisbon what's wrong with doing both? It doesn't have to be either or.

And who knows what will happen to any of us because of unacceptable male behaviour. Whether in a relationship or not.

They get a far worse rep in the news!

Nah. YABU. Lucky you you’ve somehow managed to swerve the vast majority of typical men. Either that or you’re incredibly naive.

Where did I say anything about Andrew Tate or incels? I'm not blaming women for them at all, I am saying that the women on here who rush onto threads about toxic men saying that all men are toxic and that there are no good ones are being awful and actually unkind to other women. Just on here, someone said that I deserved to have my husband cheat on me just because I have a good husband! This is bitter, nasty behaviour and actually not dissimilar to that of incels!

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