Husband furious, think that this is the end

[strugglingflower]

I am posting on AIBU for traffic

Its a long story so please bare with me.

My son not my husband's son, has had issues for about 18 months, he become depressed and lost his job, his girlfriend and a very close family member, he stole money out of our bedroom my son started to smoke weed never in the house, my son become verbally aggressive towards me, my husband and him would argue and there was squaring up to each other, I could see that my son was unwell but I could not get him any help as my son did not engage with medical professionals' I contacted the local crisis team as I could see my son was in a bad place I was told that I would get a call in 2 weeks, still waiting for that phone call.

My son then had an episode of Psychosis, I managed to get him into hospital and then in house treatment at the Priory for a month, and then at home care, when he came home my husband wanted nothing to do with my son and is old school that my son should just suck it up and man up.

My son has now lost 2 jobs through calling in sick as he is vomiting and has no motivation, my son is still depressed.

My husband has gone mad tonight, as I have not told him that he lost his job on Tuesday I wanted to wait until Friday night so that I could sit my husband down. Tonight my husband has locked our bedroom door and will not let me come into the room and is not speaking to me, he has asked in the past to choose between him and my son. I will always choose my son. I think that this is the end of my marriage.

What the hell do I do.

But he has received help with his mental health, isnt on drugs now. Its no different scenario dad or mum.

Stop! I am dot dictating anything or doing pseudo psychiatry. I am also trying to not make this thread about me, but I will not let your accusations go unanswered.

I’m not pleased about anything that happened to this young man. I’m not pleased about the circumstances, the depression, the psychotic episode, the impact on his life or the impact it’s having on OP.

And I don’t know anything about his smoking, which all appears to be in the past now anyway. “Nobody deserves to have their life turned around by a spliff” was a turn of phrase. I used it in response to your prejudice that people who develop mental illness and have smoked weed deserve no sympathy as they brought it on themselves.

If anyone is playing doctor here it’s you, you’ve decided weed is the cause of his psychosis, you’ve decided psychosis doesn’t make sufferers aggressive, you’ve decided that people undergoing psychotic breaks and severe mental illness can control their behaviours. Outstanding given the actual mental health professionals on this thread don’t agree with you.

Because he’s anxious. You clearly know nothing about mental illness and appear to think it’s some sort of choice. I’d stop posting now if I were you because your ignorance of the subject is embarrassing.

Oh what a great person you continue to show yourself as - now you’re shitting on a concerned mother with a very ill son.

well done!

At no point has the OP said that the psychosis was drug induced. Smoking weed may or may not be linked, and it may or may not have exacerbated a condition which was already there and which caused or contributed to the psychotic episode. Comparing a mental illness to a physical one isn’t helpful I agree, but only from the point of view that mental illness is, in many cases, much harder to diagnose and deal with than a physical one. OP is in that position. She deserves the same empathy and support as any parent who has to watch their child suffer, whether that suffering is physical or mental.

👏

Hope you're feeling okay this morning @strugglingflower. Sad to see people finding this situation as an opportunity to be argumentative and that prejudice is still alive and kicking. Ignore them.
I know it's difficult looking at things and think 'He should be better by now, why isn't he!?' but look at all the progress he's made in the past 10 months. If he keeps going on the right track, think about all the progress he'll make in the next 10 months. I would suggest though that he seeks out help for the vomiting, that could be a whole issue in itself. I know you mentioned it being anxiety related but he may need a change in medication if it's having such a strong effect on him still.
Oh and your husband locking you out of your own bedroom is disgusting. I hope you managed to get some decent sleep last night x

I’m trying to reframe what I saw in this thread as - lots of people have compassion and have shown this towards the OP and her son. Some people didn’t, but they are in the minority. Ultimately, we’ve come a long way in raising awareness and improving how we treat those with MH difficulties and conditions, and we clearly have a lot more work to do, but things are improving, even if slowly.

but you’re right. Once substance misuse is involved, it’s out the window. Even more work needs to be done on this.

Well said!
People also don’t realise how long recovery takes and the process.
It’s been nearly 2 years for my sibling and we notice the little things and he’s made such progress since he was in the worst state before but he doesn’t see it like we do so we have to tell him all the time so he can try to make those links and see he is getting well.

And you have shown yourself to be an extremely rude person, which is perhaps where some of your problems lie. You've done yourself no favours.

I am reporting your post.

I think you lost the moral high ground when you posted accusing someone(?) of being (quote) a 'Bitch'. Ring any bells, StormingNorman?

How do you know they are 'actual mental health professionals'? Do you know each of them personally 😏? Have you seen their qualifications?

And of course people NEVER misrepresent themselves, do they?

Keep up, dear. This was answered by someone else a long while back. But you are obviously extremely knowledgeable - for example, vomiting only ever occurs when someone is anxious, there are no other reasons why vomiting might be occurring? Have you thought of entering the medical profession?

I’d stop posting now if I were you
Thanks so much for the suggestion - I'll ignore it, as usual.

Oh the irony of your comment, I would reflect on what you have written on here, I have been nothing but courteous, you on the other hand have been rude and unkind throughout. Numerous posters have commented on your posts telling you that they were uncalled for. You are so ablist in your comments its scary.

Yet you are the one that is calling me rude and where my problems lie.

The reporting of the post comment is laughable. It has had numerous thanks.

I am also worried that people in education could hold the views that you do.

I’m sorry your post seems to have been hijacked, OP.
I hope you have found some of the information, opinions and perspectives on this thread helpful and useful.

I wish you and your son all the best. We’re here for you if you need/want.

I have been nothing but courteous,

Really? Oh, the hypocrisy! I'd suggest for starters you re-read your post accusing someone of being a troll. And yes, you are rude.

I would suggest you read all your posts. Calling someone a troll as they are saying something from behind a keyboard that they would never say to someone's face, you have been asked to stop, you have been called out for your views and being obtuse. It seems that you like to be provocative but when someone is "nasty" to you, you do not like it. My would suggest you leave this thread and move on.

Take care.

FFS, give it a rest. No one wants to hear your hysterics.

Do tell, when did you become the Thread Police?

In education? I guess ignorance knows no bounds!

As a teacher, I can assure you not everyone in education is like that and some of us do want to help and prevent mental health becoming an issue for children and adults.

I’d worry more about the health of posters who have spent hours and hours just trying to upset and hurt people and spread more ignorance.
Hopefully one day they might get the help they need too and be as lucky as your son is to have someone supporting them.

Are you ok?
There is help if you need it.