To ask if you could go back in time to change just one thing in your own life what would it be?

[alrightluv]

I don't mean historically as in kill a world leader etc. I mean one thing that would change yours or family/close friend's life.

Mine would be force my sister to get her pain looked at. She left it years popping pills and died of something that would probably have been prevented if she'd gone to the GP sooner. Although to be honest they were giving her strong pain relief. I'd have made her get exploratory tests. She died too young. I used to beg her to go. If I could go back I'd drag her there and be forceful at the appointment.

Is there anything you'd do?

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life I could choose to rectify if I could go back. But nothing that has caused harm.

@quietpink I wasn't encouraged much either. I've been totally different with my dcs. They've achieved far more and both have decent jobs. I'm actually doing a very worthwhile job and do enjoy it but I could have been a higher achiever. I had a dysfunctional childhood though so not much chance. I hope you're happy though?

I would not have believed the lies my family told me about me being a bad person and the way they made me into a scapegoat. It stayed with me my whole life. I have incredibly low self esteem and could never form relationships because of the fundamental belief that I am unloveable. If I hadn’t had a talent for academia I sincerely believe I would have killed myself.

@BustyLee are you having therapy? That's disgusting they did that. I hope you can overcome their lies and heal 🙏

Wouldn't have had children.

I wouldn't move back to the north. It has been the biggest, most expensive mistake of my entire life. I'd give just about anything to go back to 2022 and make a different decision.

Some of these are so sad.

To all of those saying they wished they hadn’t trained as nurses or teachers etc.
Can I ask why?

Surely you gained skills that you can use in other professions, so it’s not like you’re stuck in that one profession?

I wouldn’t change anything from my life, as although I could have/should have made better choices, these choices are what led me to be who I am today and so I wouldn’t change them.

I wish I lived in the moment more though.
I spent a long time (probably still do it now) struggling with juggling life, work and being a single parent and I would wish the days away so I could get into bed.

A lot of my younger years were a blur because it was a constant cycle of just getting through the day and it makes me sad that I will never be that young again.
I am trying to live in the moment more now.

I did have very bad PND which I didn’t seek help for for a long time and so that is probably something I would change actually.
Things would have been better if I got help sooner.

Quite a few things. I wouldn’t have got married at 21. I wouldn’t have wasted money on frivolous things when we had equity after a house sale, I wouldn’t have taken an interest only mortgage for so many years - now back on track but taken us years to get straight and we should almost be mortgage free by now.

Oh boy. Here we go. I would not leave my home country. I would not marry my ex. I would be a better mom, better daughter. I would have been more assertive. I would have had more fun, travelled more, laughed more.

Yes, well, just about everything. 🤣Except having my three beautiful children. ❤️

There are so many, not starting smoking, being more picky with who I slept with as a teenager, working harder at school instead of dicking around with mates, explored my feelings and emotions when younger instead of eating them and developing a long term eating disorder.

But that is so recent, could you really not just unpick it and go back?

I would never settled for my husband. I was only 18 and chose wrong.

I think if I had done my year ten work experience in a veterinary practice and not where I went I might have studied harder in school and gone to university sooner, which in turn may have meant I'd become a vet rather than an assistant.

What I actually did was meet a lad who encouraged me to bunk off school and dick about. This led to me having my children young and then my university experience was as a mature student with responsibilities rather than a care free teen. I studied animal welfare rather than veterinary medicine but still in the field I adore.

On the plus side having my children young meant I got to meet my grandchildren in my 30s.

I would love my younger self more.

Yes bit coins for me. They were $0.25 when they were first sold. I wanted to buy £2k worth though we did also talk about £5k worth... Huge error, but I've had a good life nonetheless....

to have left that first time he lied to me (it all escalated from there and it was just the start of his abuse).

Realised that having a termination in my mid 20s after an accidental pregnancy didn't mean I'd be fertile for many years to come. At 33 I was struggling to conceive, and despite several fertility treatments, and one conception, never had my own child. Also I would have tried IVF sooner if the doctor who tested me during investigations had explained properly what the results meant.

But I will never regret adopting my wonderful children, though life would have been easier if it had never come to that.

I would have taken the opportunity to try for the royal ballet. My ballet teacher wanted me to and got all the info and paperwork. But at 11 I was just not ready to go away from home. Always wondered what would have happened.

Would have considered other branches of medicine, 45 year old GP heading for burnout 😔

@TheYearOfSmallThings sadly not as house back in the south is no longer suitable for partner following a car crash that I still don't know how they walked away from. Family in the north claimed they'd be there for us when we moved and they've shown their true chocolate teapot colours. I'd love to go back but ironically there is now no work for me in the south any more and partner can't work.

@Myfirstbornisacollie sorry to hear that. How far away is retirement?

@Myfirstbornisacollie sorry just saw you're only 45. That's tough.

Ironically the one thing I would change, a bad relationship, would have then caused me to carry on with my travelling plans and I would never have met my DH a few weeks after I was due to fly. I ended up not going because of the person I was with, ended it with him shortly after my original flight date and met my now DH after that. So really do I think I would change that relationship, no, because it led to the perfect situation with an amazing DH with 1 almost 2 kids.
Sometimes bad situations can happen for a reason to lead you to a better situation that you never would have gotten to otherwise!

Gone to uni and done a proper degree. Law or medicine or something that leads to a career

TTC earlier 😞