To ask if you could go back in time to change just one thing in your own life what would it be?

[alrightluv]

I don't mean historically as in kill a world leader etc. I mean one thing that would change yours or family/close friend's life.

Mine would be force my sister to get her pain looked at. She left it years popping pills and died of something that would probably have been prevented if she'd gone to the GP sooner. Although to be honest they were giving her strong pain relief. I'd have made her get exploratory tests. She died too young. I used to beg her to go. If I could go back I'd drag her there and be forceful at the appointment.

Is there anything you'd do?

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life I could choose to rectify if I could go back. But nothing that has caused harm.

Bought a flat in my 20’s. I had low self esteem and didn’t think I deserved it, even though I could afford it. Actually should have gone low contact with my parents much earlier ( see low self esteem).

@ChewChewsBiscuitTin that's very hard.

I would not have wasted so much time and money on IVF and embraced life without children much earlier.

I wouldn’t change any of it. It’s all brought me to where I am now, which is happy. But I don’t have the kind of experience you do, OP, I expect I’d feel the same as you in those circumstances. Not your fault though!

I’d have stopped DP driving home the day he got killed on a motorway.
Often think of it as my Sliding Doors moment.

Badgered my dad more to be my guarantor so I could have bought a 2 bed flat in West Hampstead for 125k in 1995!

I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason (obviously not everyone will think the same and I respect that).

Whilst I would theoretically love to go back in time and stop myself from taking my first job, which was awful in so many ways and caused me so much anxiety and illness, if I hadn’t got fired from that job I would never have gone on to get my second job, which is where I met my husband. We now have a beautiful family together and live in a lovely house, both in jobs where we are happy etc.

I truly not to dwell too much on the past and take the good with the bad, always believe things will get better.

Thanks @Notawool . I feel angry at her tbh. I don't dwell on it as was over 20 years ago. Sad though. But I would change it.

I would go back in time if i could and get sterilised and stayed childless.

Would never marry and live with my husband.
Child free fortunately.
😐

Worked with animals. Everyone talked me out of it because I was going into a well paying industry (pharmaceutical). We ended up broke anyway😅😅😅(saying that we own a house now)

On one hand i could of saved myself from toxic friends and boyfriends but it's made me who I am today so I'm undecided on that topic. I definitely would of gone on more holidays!

This.

Many things.

But probably would've studied for a different degree - something that gives me a forever back-up profession, like radiology, rather than LLB.

I would have begged my dad to get regular testing so he wouldn't have been stage 4 at time of diagnosis

And I would have made it in time to say goodbye

I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason (obviously not everyone will think the same and I respect that).

We all think that. Until something absurdly random + horrible happens to us and the grief and pain stays forever.

I'm sorry to read that. I know you must have a strong reason.

Snap. I wish I hadn't married my exh.

To have not accepted a lift from a stranger when I was 14

I wouldn't have told my dad to take early retirement. He asked when I was 17 and at the time I wanted to travel and weirdly assumed he would too. He didn't and has been miserable and reclusive ever since. I don't know why I still feel the burden though, as he was 44 and could have made the choice more logically for himself.

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I would never have agreed to marry my second husband . I knew I didn't really love him as I should but got swept away with his enthusiasm and him telling me I was the best person ever .He swore undying love for me and we were so happy and together until we weren't.
We have lived through many episodes due to his bi polar disorder. I should have educated myself more on this illness. He tells me he loves me but wants to split up. Whether this is another episode I can't tell but at 60 plus years old I no longer want to live like this.

@LaPalmaLlama £125, 000 was a lot in 1995 - we bought a 4 bed detached (elsewhere in the country) in 1993- two of us earning for £99,000 and people thought it crazy. So I can understand why your Dad hesitated. I have similar, but not as much money missed - a one bedroom flat in Mousehole Mousehole, Cornwall (needed work) for £19,000 about 15 years ago.

I would have been more responsible with money, saved and bought a home much earlier.

A lot of this including the OP is making other people do things. I think we need to realise that however much we love someone and want them to do something for their own best interests, we simply can't.

Forgive yourself and allow yourself that peace. You did the best you could OP. Your sister knew you wanted her to go and she'd have known how much you love her.