To ask if you could go back in time to change just one thing in your own life what would it be?

[alrightluv]

I don't mean historically as in kill a world leader etc. I mean one thing that would change yours or family/close friend's life.

Mine would be force my sister to get her pain looked at. She left it years popping pills and died of something that would probably have been prevented if she'd gone to the GP sooner. Although to be honest they were giving her strong pain relief. I'd have made her get exploratory tests. She died too young. I used to beg her to go. If I could go back I'd drag her there and be forceful at the appointment.

Is there anything you'd do?

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life I could choose to rectify if I could go back. But nothing that has caused harm.

Studied something different at uni and probably gone a year later.

Oh absolutely! And I'm lucky that I'm fit and healthy and able to enjoy nice things in life now. But still, I feel sad when I reflect on what I missed out on. For example I can go on nice holidays now, but I would have loved the backpackers style gap year that friends in their 20s did. I'm a homeowner now (and feel lucky for it), but I'm only a few years into paying it off whereas same age friends who managed to buy in their 20s are looking towards the end of their mortgages. I never had children because I couldn't afford them when I was physically able to have them.
I'm glad for what I do have now, but I'm aware life wouldn't have been so different had I not got into debt in the first place.

I wish I had started trying for a baby younger so that I might have had two or three children rather than one.

Me too. But then l didn't meet dh til l was 32 so would rather have one child with him than two or three with my ex.

It sounds as though you did what you could with your sister. You can’t make someone submit to medical tests or treatment, and it sounds as though you made it clear how concerned you were. She had to be the one to make the decision for herself.

I’d go back to the early 2000s and beat Mark Zuckerberg to inventing Facebook.

I would have let him kiss me.

I would have confronted my mother about who my father was.

Somewhat similar to @alrightluv and a previous poster.

Would go back just two years and try even harder to get my late wife to have the mole on her face checked out.

unfortunately, we can only dream.

@NightPuffins have you ever fancied doing a long distance walk? I've done a few in the UK and didn't start until I was 51. They're fantastic. You meet people of all ages, backgrounds and levels of walking fitness. You can start at a short one or part of one. Even get your luggage taken to each b&b. Or backpack.

@billyt I'm very sorry to hear that.

I would not have moved to where we are now, but would have stayed in the city where we were happiest. My elderly parents could have moved to us rather than vice versa.

I wish I’d started having children 10 years earlier. I had an amazing time in my 20s and 30s but had DD when I was 39, and I’m knackered. I’d also would’ve liked to have more than one but despite a second pregnancy it wasn’t to be, and no time left now.

To not have bought a house near a busy road, I’ve moved now and every day is bliss.

Another one coming on to say I wouldn't have got married. Just had my kids then booted the fucker out when it became obvious he was a lazy bastard. Instead he got half the house I bought and paid for. Prick.

I would have been diagnosed with adhd as a child. Saving me years of depression and burn out.
I would have not taken my health for granted. I miss it now I don’t have it, I could have done so much more.
I’d have reached out to that friend who was struggling, and try to stop him completing suicide. I fear his children will never recover.

I would never have trained to be a teacher.

At the moment I’m really struggling with the fact I didn’t have enough support during my a levels/support choosing and facilitating a career for myself. I’m really seeing how it’s held me back and am having to work extra hard now to catch up (mid 30s retraining in a passion I could have done straight from school had I had the support). So it’s hard, because that’s something I wish my parents had helped me with more, not really something I could have done myself. I don’t know.

Im in a realm now which just so happens to be filled with very successful and confident (and overwhelmingly privately educated) people my age or younger. So am feeling like a very late bloomer and have the confidence of a my fat 15 year old self 😄 there’s definitely a self-assuredness that comes with private school that seems to have set these people up really well. EG one of these people was at the palace yesterday and another is working on a very very high profile creative project everyone will know about this time next year. So I’m not saying I wish I’d gone to private school as I’m not sure I’d choose that for my own kids (can’t afford anyway!) but just that support and connections of some sort would have been nice!

I wouldn’t have missed the northern lights last Friday 😢😢 it still hurts

That's such a huge question!

Loads I might change - but they were the choices taken at the time, for the reasons of the time.

Funnily enough, just last night I was recounting a ‘sliding door’ moment to my partner.
When I was in my early 20’s, my parents owned a holiday home in Spain and whilst staying there over a long summer, we occasionally went for a meal at the local, family owned, Italian restaurant.
One evening, as we settled the bill, the rather handsome son of the owner, invited me to meet him for a meal the next evening - AND I DECLINED😳.

How different my life might have been….

Sounds silly, but my only regret is that I went through the rave era without popping a single pill because I was too scared. When I tried MDMA years later, I couldn't help but feel that it would have dramatically enhanced my experience of rave parties.

Also, I regret that I left it too late to go to Printworks in London, now it's closed and I've been there just once.
And I've never been to the Haçienda, but I was too young anyway.

Coming up to finishing Uni I was all set to move to London and start a city job and move in with my boyfriend but deep down I knew the relationship was over.

I clearly remember sitting on a bench talking it through with my best friend and saying I have to go through with it all because I felt trapped and too nervous to do it on my own. He was begging me not to but in the end I made the move and we stayed together.

I kept thinking just wait until I'm settled and reconsider ...... 31 years later we are still together and unhappy and there's never been a good time to leave. I don't know how this happened, but I know that was the moment when my life changed.

Started trying for my babies sooner. We needed IVF, which blessedly, worked for us twice, but it took us 3 years to get going. I know this is not much in the scheme of things, but still... I can never quite shake the feeling that I've short changed myself out of a few years of my children's lives.

I'm another one who should have binned off first husband and had enough self-respect to realise that his serial adultery was his problem, not mine. But now married to the best of men!

@HannaMae wtaf! You mad bugger 🤣

@FastFood sorry but I know someone who was seriously ill from drugs and raving so if I do find/make a time machine you're not coming!

Taken my education seriously and gone to university. Instead I wanted to have fun and went to work for my family business.
I was clever and should have achieved more, but also my parents should have cared more.