to not have realised how abusive and horrible men were until I joined MN

[geoger]

Been on MN a while now and I must admit that it has really opened my eyes to how abusive and horrible some men are. I’m not ignorant, I know that men can be violent, controlling, abusive etc - I read loads, watch the news and documentaries but I just didn’t realise the depths of depravity some men reach. Every day there are threads where women are physically, emotionally, financially and sexually abused by their so called ‘d’ h/p that I find really worrying and distressing.
Some of these threads still play on my mind and I worry for the women who posted them.
I feel so stupid and naive and trusting. MN has really opened my eyes. Has anybody else experienced this worry for other women on here or am I just living in a bubble?
I know this is AIBU but please no bashing

Yes to this! ^

100% this. It's happening on this thread. A few men who are so desperate for attention from women, and to engage with them, that they just spout any crap, and the more controversial it is the better, as it's getting the womens reactions.

As I said earlier, I have no idea why anyone reacts to them, as they are clearly men and are clearly spoiling for an argument. Bet they were the awkward boys at school who could never get a girlfriend, and went round pulling girls pigtails, and stealing their toys in the playground.

DESPERATE for attention from women. 😆

Awww, it's quite sad really. 😢Maybe we should just pity these men.

Sadly I have to go to bed now. Very tired and have work tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing your absolutely genuine and authentic CPC card and licence @WalrusOfLove 😆

@Dakotabluebell

"In 2022/23, 13 men died at the hands of their partner or ex-partner compared to 56 women. (ONS 2022/23). (No details given about the sex of the perpetrators.) "

I believe if you delve into this a bit deeper of the woman killing men most frequently they are killing an abusive partner/relative.

But none of that supports your theory that women are worse than men.

I know, I'll stop now.

I think walrus is a man, but if he's not, i do actually have a theory that women who spend a lot of time around blokes in male dominated spaces often develop this "anti women" stance - kind of like "I'm not like those other women, I'm just like you men, I'm on your side, aren't women the worst" as a defence mechanism so that they don't become a victim of male violence too. Or, it kind of becomes their personality to hate other women because they thrive on any male attention and there's a lot of men out there who lap it up and who are delighted when they find a woman who hates other women. It's sad really, to be so desperate for approval from men.

Maybe that's why they get so upset when they stumble across women who don't give a shit about what men think.

It doesn't matter in the least what a handful of women in a cherry picked survey chose to 'identify' as. If you can find a survey that shows that 93% of UK women have never experienced problem behaviour from men, don't think there's a problem with male behaviour that's worthy of discussion, and agree with you that women are as a great a danger to men as men are to women. Well...I'm a lady trucker called Barry.

So piss off then

That’s the common narrative at the moment isn’t it.. husband kills a wife, the man is evil. Wife kills husband , the man is evil.

Most domestic violence is reciprocal and happens in abusive relationships i.e. violent abusive people seek eachother out for relationships and unsurprisingly violence occurs. it is genuinely tragic

It is interesting.. similar happens when mums kill their infants.. most children killed under 1 are killed by their mother. The narrative is currently that the mother is suffering mental health problems (so shes the victim). Father kills his child, he’s a monster.

And again similar with these female teachers who have sex with children. The women who do it are ‘under great stress’ or ‘acting out of character’ and its only classed as sexual abuse in the UK. A male teacher does it he’s a pervert and a paedophile and a rapist

plenty of men do shit things. Plenty of women do shit things. Some men are really nasty. Loads of women are really nasty too

You're just making yourself look silly by calling government studies and meta reviews by industry panels 'made up statistics'. The links are there for everyone to see.

Here you go. Apology accepted lol.

So the women on this thread who have spoken of being abused, in your opinion, are 'mostly' also abusers, who have committed violence against and terrorised their male partners in equal measure? That 'most' woman raped, hospitalised or murdered in their homes commit the same acts to their male partner? And that 'most' of them have chosen an abusive partner either subconsciously or deliberately because they want to be in an abusive relationship so they can hurt men? Because, that's quite a bold statement you've made there. Are you sure you don't want to have a little think about it...?

Aside from the 1700 studies that in aggregate found that women perpetrate more DV.

Nobody is a winner here. I'm not rejoicing in glee at the prospect of my gender being significantly more violent than general opinion seems to believe. You just can't tackle a problem if you don't know the reality of it.

A small but very vocal cohort of women are pushing a narrative that the statistics seem to contradict and unfortunately (as with the trans lobby) it's been sucked up as truth, even if the majority of recent studies show that most women don't like this hateful agenda.

And more and more men/boys are deciding they've had enough and are turning to toxic role models like Andrew Tate, which is making things measurably worse for women. Sadly, it's not the women on here that take the brunt of it as many don't want to associate with men. It's younger women like myself that suffer for their actions.

I defo didn't say that. 😂

What's trans people got to do with this?

Don't start being transphobic as well as misogynistic.

You're being silly @WalrusOfLove
There is no way on this earth that a 'small but vocal' 3% of women, who don't even associate with men (on account on not being a lovely young person of the female 'gender' like yourself) could possibly be causing all this harm.
Do you imagine that all the young men on your building site are, like yourself, also sitting there on MN all day and becoming so upset by the opinions on here (that they don't hear from 97% of other younger better women, remember!) that they have to run to Andrew Tate to reclaim their power?
You can't have it both ways. Either the views on here represent a tiny minority of women in a MN bubble, or they're a deeply dangerous and influential false narrative causing great harm to other women and to men. Which one is it today?
And while we're at it, do you have anything to say to the male posters who disagree with you? Who admit to being men, and so you'd think would be well placed to give some inside insight into how other men behave? Where do they fit into your narrative?

Well assuming you and the quoted poster are two different people, I wasnt talking to you. You're getting a lot of attention on here for sure, but just now and again we do speak to other people. Hope that's OK.

I'm against self ID and would probably classify as being gender critical in the looser sense. If that's transphobic then hey ho.

It's a shame that the topic of male violence pits women against each other tbh because there are no winners in this situation. A lot of posters seem to deal with the cognitive dissonance by convincing themself that the poster disagreeing with them is actually a man, but I know I'm not and plenty of times when the accusation is thrown I know it's untrue as I've seen the poster in question (the 'man') posting on other threads many times.

Whoops, I used gender in place of sex. Waiting for somebody to call me a TRA now. 😂 I'm an angry transwoman trying to get my own back on the terfs. 🤣🤣🤣

Rational person!

😬

No, you are struggling to connect with anyone here other than men here with you bizarre narrative, because you have run into reality. The near universal lived experience of women, which is a source of considerable solidarity between us, is that male aggression and sexual violence is widespread and pervasive and represents a very significant threat to our safety and wellbeing. If it is not us who has been beaten or raped it is our mother, our sister, our daughter, our best friend or the woman we sit opposite at work. Women are terrorised by men-it affects us all and many men are involved.

Yes, assuming they’re two different people. 🤔 I think someone is getting mixed up, it must be hard to keep track when you’re spouting crap from multiple accounts/usernames. No surprise there.

I'd like to see a link to "most children under 1 are killed by their mother".
The awful thing about you writing stuff like this is that people might believe you.

As has already been said, it proves nothing as it could be anyone’s, but your protesting too much and offering ‘proof‘ that proves nothing is a clear sign of being full of shite.

This reflects physical, social and economic power differential and reinforced by social structures and prevailing culture, where for centuries women have not been afforded the same rights as men and have been treated as their husbands chattels. In the UK is is only in relatively recent modern history that is has become unlawful for a husband to beat his wife, unlawful for a husband to rape his wife, or for married women to have the right to enter in credit agreements independently of men. In other parts of the world women are still fighting for these rights. This history, and these differentials in physical, economic and social power affect who we all are and how we behave and live. They also affect the distribution, severity and impact of violence.