His comment when the bill came ....

[mrprott]

I went in a date recently.
I was a little anxious before hand about the discomforts of f the bill situation but was and am adamant about splitting bills on dates bar coffees or waters etc.
I knew midway through meal that he was a test so decided to enjoy rest of meal and put it down to experience.
I suggested at the end we call for the bill. It came. He looked at it , sat back on his chair and with a swerve of his hand pointing at the bill said ..'do you want me to pay for this or what ?' In a really nonchalant voice ..
I nearly died 😂🤣🙈
I was so shocked at how he spoke to me.... this boastful, popular , millionaire( his words ? with his jaguar and photos of his palatial spread ....
The waiter caught sight of this and got awkward and left ..
I said of course we're splitting it but in my fifty years of living on this earth, I have never been asked anything like this in such a way and I was mortified.
He didn't understand this at all???
Shrugged his shoulder and that was that ..
AIBU ?

What do you mean "he was a test"?

I don't think I get it...? He asked if he should get the bill but you didn't like the tone and said no let's split?

I don’t understand the issue? Did you not like the tone? Why were you mortified?

Did you just not like the way he asked you?

Another one not understanding the issue.

iPhones autocorrect twat to test.

I'm guessing that "test" is autocorrect being a bit pure

Do you want me to pay for this or what? Sounds pretty rude to me. YANBU.

Why were you mortified?

Asked you in what way? How can asking non chalantly make you feel mortified?

The #bekind dating is really bringing the best out of men😂
What a pollock!

It sounded a bit rude of him but I would not have expected him to pay the whole thing even if he does drive a jaguar and live in a palace but seeing photos of his palatial spread on a first date would have left me cold anyway. No second date I assume.

What did you both order?

Maybe he assumed you would be splitting and that was his socially awkward way of doing it.

Maybe if it was an unfair split he was pissed off about it?

We need to know who has what

I kind of get what your saying - him saying "do you want me to pay for this or what?" is odd. I guess the answer is "no not at all we'll split it" which is pretty much what you said anyway. I wouldn't be all that keen to date him again though, jag/millionaire or not.

So why were you mortified?

The “or what” just sounds so rude!!

On to the next one OP!

Sounds like a rude twat. If he was offering to pay then he should be gracious about it and not make it sound like he's doing you a massive favour. I don't know what some other posters aren't getting.

Anyone feel like 'mortified' is always used incorrectly on MN? It means humiliated/ashamed/embarrassed.

Wouldn't you decide BEFORE the meal that you were going to split the bill? I'm longterm single so no issue about doing this with men, but if I go for a meal with friends we always sort out the 'who's going to pay' before we even sit down.

Sorry! I must not have explained it well.

Our bill was of similar cost when split.

When the bill came his body language , tone of voice and manners were atrocious.

We were always splitting the bill as far as I was concerned , but the way he threw out that comment left me cold coupled with his swag and gesturing.

Test meant twat

Not second date... in a million years.

Did you make any move to get your own purse out when the bill arrived or just sit on your hands looking expectant? If the latter than I don’t think he was unreasonable to be a bit curt - it was rude of you not to even make an attempt or suggestion that you might go halves at that point and therefore come across as assuming it would be a free meal. He probably gets the same assumption from many women and is a bit fed up of it.

If you’re referring to OP it sounds like she’s used it correctly on how she was feeling in the situation.

This

photos of his palatial spread

twat alright

MN in general, but I also don't understand mortification in this context – she clearly though he was a dick and very rude to phrase the bill question like that, so not sure where mortification comes in.

He called for the bill. Bill came to his side of table and then he sat back and came out with that rudeness in that tone of voice and yes I was mortified and very uncomfortable also .
I said no of course I don't want you to get this. We are splitting the bill, if you're happy with that?
He was like ...sure.... then proceeded to suggest I pay him Cash while he used Revolut to pay the total. Honest to fuck 🙄