Page 14 | His comment when the bill came ....

mrprott · 2024-05-15T12:54:47+00:00

I went in a date recently. I was a little anxious before hand about the discomforts of f the bill situation but was and am adamant about splitting bills on dates bar coffees or waters etc. I knew midway through meal that he was a test so decided to enjoy rest of meal and put it down to experience. I suggested at the end we call for the bill. It came. He looked at it , sat back on his chair and with a swerve of his hand pointing at the bill said ..'do you want me to pay for this or what ?' In a really nonchalant voice .. I nearly died 😂🤣🙈 I was so shocked at how he spoke to me.... this boastful, popular , millionaire( his words ? with his jaguar and photos of his palatial spread .... The waiter caught sight of this and got awkward and left .. I said of course we're splitting it but in my fifty years of living on this earth, I have never been asked anything like this in such a way and I was mortified. He didn't understand this at all??? Shrugged his shoulder and that was that .. AIBU ?

ThinWomansBrain · 19/05/2024 10:18

You intended to split the bill - he asked whether you wanted him to pay or to split it.
Hardly as of he did a runner & left you with the bill, or started debating who'd drunk more of the wine.
Maybe stick to coffees the next time you meet up with someone.

pikkumyy77 · 19/05/2024 12:04

Interesting how worked up, and to what great lengths, some posters get to “prove” OP is unreasonable to have been offended by her date’s clear implication that she was sponging off him. Quite frothy.

But I have noticed there is often a bit of a mean girl streak to some threads where posters will torture the text of the OP in order to find fault with the OP herself. It often happens when the commenters decide that the OP is somehow too needy, or too proud, or lacks the fabled stiff upper lip, or has drawn attention to a specifically female vulnerability. It happens a lot on threads where OP complains that her birthday/mothers day/new job/new degree has been ignored. Absolute indifference to need and being impervious to insult seems to be the implicit requirement.

Another interesting thing is that the anti OP comments generally follow the narcissist’s prayer:

That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

Just substitute “he” for I and you have all the comments explained.

JJathome · 19/05/2024 16:34

pikkumyy77 · 19/05/2024 12:04

Interesting how worked up, and to what great lengths, some posters get to “prove” OP is unreasonable to have been offended by her date’s clear implication that she was sponging off him. Quite frothy.

But I have noticed there is often a bit of a mean girl streak to some threads where posters will torture the text of the OP in order to find fault with the OP herself. It often happens when the commenters decide that the OP is somehow too needy, or too proud, or lacks the fabled stiff upper lip, or has drawn attention to a specifically female vulnerability. It happens a lot on threads where OP complains that her birthday/mothers day/new job/new degree has been ignored. Absolute indifference to need and being impervious to insult seems to be the implicit requirement.

Another interesting thing is that the anti OP comments generally follow the narcissist’s prayer:

That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

Just substitute “he” for I and you have all the comments explained.

And the same in reverse, and this post of prime example of frothy mean girl. Sadly it doesn’t work on line, and we aren’t kids,

grinandslothit · 20/05/2024 01:44

pikkumyy77 · 19/05/2024 12:04

Interesting how worked up, and to what great lengths, some posters get to “prove” OP is unreasonable to have been offended by her date’s clear implication that she was sponging off him. Quite frothy.

But I have noticed there is often a bit of a mean girl streak to some threads where posters will torture the text of the OP in order to find fault with the OP herself. It often happens when the commenters decide that the OP is somehow too needy, or too proud, or lacks the fabled stiff upper lip, or has drawn attention to a specifically female vulnerability. It happens a lot on threads where OP complains that her birthday/mothers day/new job/new degree has been ignored. Absolute indifference to need and being impervious to insult seems to be the implicit requirement.

Another interesting thing is that the anti OP comments generally follow the narcissist’s prayer:

That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

Just substitute “he” for I and you have all the comments explained.

I suspect quite a few of those types of posts are from disgruntled men posing as women on here

NonPlayerCharacter · 20/05/2024 07:12

grinandslothit · 20/05/2024 01:44

I suspect quite a few of those types of posts are from disgruntled men posing as women on here

Show quote history

There are a lot of them on here.

Rubbishconfession · 21/05/2024 09:43

JJathome · 19/05/2024 16:34

And the same in reverse, and this post of prime example of frothy mean girl. Sadly it doesn’t work on line, and we aren’t kids,

Show quote history

Which bit of her post was 'frothy mean girl'? Can you give an example?

Rubbishconfession · 21/05/2024 09:45

pikkumyy77 · 19/05/2024 12:04

Interesting how worked up, and to what great lengths, some posters get to “prove” OP is unreasonable to have been offended by her date’s clear implication that she was sponging off him. Quite frothy.

But I have noticed there is often a bit of a mean girl streak to some threads where posters will torture the text of the OP in order to find fault with the OP herself. It often happens when the commenters decide that the OP is somehow too needy, or too proud, or lacks the fabled stiff upper lip, or has drawn attention to a specifically female vulnerability. It happens a lot on threads where OP complains that her birthday/mothers day/new job/new degree has been ignored. Absolute indifference to need and being impervious to insult seems to be the implicit requirement.

Another interesting thing is that the anti OP comments generally follow the narcissist’s prayer:

That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

Just substitute “he” for I and you have all the comments explained.

Well said. I always think it's more of a reflection of what's going on in their own lives and they project that on to the OP.