OH has awful table manners and it’s making me question our whole relationship

[JosephineCornwall]

My bf of just over 3 months has shocking table manners….lip smacking, eating with mouth open, licking his knife, licking fingers (this is the worse one as it’s often and noisily and doesn’t use a napkin), licks the plate at the end of his meal…..you get my drift. In most other aspects I think we have the foundations for a LTR, however when I see him eating I want to dump him!! 😱 I have hinted at him that it’s not the done thing but am I being unreasonable to give him an ultimatum?

I would place my knife and fork down calmly and vacate the premises if I was you. I couldn’t date a farmyard animal.

If his lack of table manners gives you the ick now, it'll never get better.

When there are complaints about table manners on MN it's usually about not holding cutlery correctly, no napkin, slurping, etc but this is the worse I've read!

I've never seen an adult licking their plate.

I don't know how you ever had more than a couple of meals with him.

@JosephineCornwall jesus christ in a dress!!! send him back to the jungle!!! just imagine what a wedding would be like??????

If there's something nice left on your plate can you not just take a spoon to get the very last drops - and how on earth do you lick a bowl?

I broke up with someone due to their appalling table manners. No regrets and thinking about it 30+ years on still makes my stomach churn.

What does he use to push the food onto his knife?

In all my 70 years I have never seen anyone licking either knives or plates/dishes.

You be might cut your tongue.

If he really hasn't a clue it would do him a favour to be shown.

If he knows what he's doing then he needs to be gone

Jeez... he wouldn't last 3 weeks with me never mind 3 months. Poor table manners are a complete turn off.

If someone licks the plate, I take it as a sign that they enjoyed the food on it so much that they don't want to leave any.

But, then again, I would not go within 100 miles of anyone who values "manners" above everything else. And most Mumsnetters wouldn't be seen dead in my company.

I've been thinking about it while reading this thread, and I reckon if you're in public and you're licking ANYTHING AT ALL (lollies and ice creams excepted) then I'm going to start judging you. How hard is it not to go around licking things?

Due to being raised in a different culture where people ate with their hands, I had appalling table manners. I wasn’t even used to sitting at a table, nor saying please or thank you. It was awful and embarrassing, but I didn’t know any better. Finally, a partner sat me down and set up the table and quietly and without fuss gave me a tutorial. Now my table manners can take me anywhere and I’m able to recognise and use various types of silverware.

I just needed a chance and some patience, I was very willing to change and of course did not want to embarrass myself or my companions!

Don’t make a big deal about it, just quietly sensitively and gently show him. Ignorance can be easily and quickly cured - table manners are not rocket science!

(I still eat how I like in the privacy of my home when I’m alone!)

Do him the courtesy of explaining how you feel.

However, he's unlikely to change and it's likely to become a bigger and bigger issue for you. You might need to break up over it.

LTB.
Definitely.

Do you eat out with him?

Yes,

A knife is for cutting your food and pushing it onto your fork.

Why would anyone need to lick their knife ? Have you ever seen a family eating a meal and seeing them all licking licking their knives ?! Why ?

The point of table manners is for one thing, not putting everyone else around you off their food.

All manners are, are consideration for other people

Different circumstances

Yours were understandable.

His have deteriorated

He is 'licking his plate'!!?? What the hell is he eating that requires that? Gross!

That's absolutely disgusting. I can't be with someone who doesn't have respect for himself let alone me.

My late father in law had nothing to say, until he'd put some food in his mouth.

My husband hates using a fork so uses a knife and pushes food onto it or loads a piece of bread up... it's very medieval.
He gets irritated by people who fanny about with food

Tbh I'd say that he "fannys about".