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AIBU?

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Original poster

Advice - school run sick husband

251 replies

Blueberryancakes · 14/05/2024 05:32

Need some advice please.

I start work at 8am.

Husband works from home so will do the school run just before he starts work.

He’s been sick in the night and feels dreadful. I’ve been up half the night with him. He can’t do the school run.

I’ve got no one to ask to do it.

Im going to have to call my boss and tell him I’ve got to do the school run so won’t be in until 9:30am.

Im panicking I’m going to be in trouble for being late. Can my boss refuse me coming in late?

OP posts:
PineappleTime · 14/05/2024 05:32

Why can't he do the school run?

Bumble84 · 14/05/2024 05:34

I get he’s feeling ill and miserable but unless the school is an hours round trip or something I’m sure he’ll manage. What would you do in that situation? My guess is you’d manage.

Original poster
Blueberryancakes · 14/05/2024 05:36

He is too sick to do the school run. I think he’s got flu he can’t get out of bed.

OP posts:
Muthaofcats · 14/05/2024 05:36

How unwell is husband? If he’s still going to wfh why can’t he do the school run?

if he’s truly at deaths door then of course you take them and tell boss as soon as you can - what else can you do?

it would be totally unreasonable for them not to understand the need for flex sometimes, esp in an emergency / one off situation. You can suggest you’ll make up the hours (if possible) but honestly if they were tricky about something like this they sound horrific to work for.

Willmafrockfit · 14/05/2024 05:37

man flu

i dont know whether your boss can refuse you being late, depends what you do

Original poster
Blueberryancakes · 14/05/2024 05:38

He’s going to call in sick he can’t work today.

Hoping I can just take a couple of hours unpaid maybe?

I just don’t want to get in trouble with work

OP posts:
jobessieandme · 14/05/2024 05:40

Sexist responses here. Sometimes men get ill too and perhaps OP is best placed to know whether he's ill "enough" to stay home.

OP is there a neighbour or friend who could help? If not I think all you can do is apologise profusely, emergencies do happen and hopefully your employer will be understanding.

Original poster
Blueberryancakes · 14/05/2024 05:40

It’s not just being a man with the sniffles- he is really poorly.
I’ve been with him all night. He’s been shaking freezing cold - the boiling hot. Vomiting.

If I was poorly like this he wouldn’t expect me to do the school run. He’d do it. He just has more flexibility than me as he can work from home.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 14/05/2024 05:41

God almighty, some of these replies! Just call your boss and say you have to do the school run and will be in at X time. It's work, not prison. What about the afternoon - can you go home early and do a chunk from home later, or take a few hours' annual leave?

Willmafrockfit · 14/05/2024 05:42

will you have to finish early too?

PermanentTemporary · 14/05/2024 05:44

There's a statutory right to five days' unpaid carers leave a year. Check your work policy on how to request this.

Original poster
Blueberryancakes · 14/05/2024 05:45

Luckily I work until 2pm. So no I won’t have to finish early. It is just the morning drop off.

I’ve never had to do this before. My daughter is 9 and we’ve always managed work and school runs. This will be the first time this has happened.

OP posts:
Muthaofcats · 14/05/2024 05:45

I don’t understand why you’re so worried about just telling work the situation that has arisen and that you can’t come in until dropped the kids?

Most employment contracts cover time off for dependents or time off for emergencies (or boiler burst etc), it’s life , it happens sometimes. I would just apologise for the impact, say you have no other options and appreciate their understanding.

you sound conscientious enough that I’m sure they’ll know you’re usually reliable and that you’re in an honest situation.

hope he feels better soon and that employer isn’t a dick. Just tell them now so that you’ve given as much warning as possible that you’ll be late.

lavenderlou · 14/05/2024 05:46

Do you have a class WhatsApp group? You could ask on there if anyone would mind as a favour. People are often happy to help as a one off. Are the kids old enough to get ready themselves?

Or is there a breakfast club? At my DC's school, you can book on any time until it starts.

Muthaofcats · 14/05/2024 05:48

What do you do when you are sick? Surely you’d have to take the whole day off then? So this is 90 minutes.

i ask for SO much more flex around my kids, than you if this is your first time ever. In fact I don’t even ask, I just tell my employer what I need. They trust me and I work hard for them. If they didn’t allow that flex or treated me badly for having a life, I’d quit,

msbevvy · 14/05/2024 05:54

Your poor husband. He sounds really ill. If you had to be up with him half the night will be be alright left on his own today?

If you have a decent employer you shouldn't be in trouble for doing the school run. I think your situation should be covered by this anyway.

https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Time off for family and dependants

Your legal right to time off to care for dependants - when you can take time off, how long you get, your rights

https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

KezzaMucklowe · 14/05/2024 05:54

What sort of job do you do. I'm office based now and just make the hours up
Previously though when I worked in a school I'd have to take the hit and lose half a day's pay. They wouldn't just take off 1.5 hours.
Quite often as one a one off my employer wouldn't take any action.
I'm sure it will be OK as a pp said it's work not prison

Mcvitieschoccybiscuit · 14/05/2024 05:56

If you get into ‘trouble’ for being a couple of hours late for the first time under these circumstance, then I think you probably need to get ready to stick up for yourself. Stuff like this happens all the time OP, try not to panic I’m sure your boss will actually be more understanding than you think.

Is it a role where the business can’t operate without you like opening a shop, caring etc? It doesn’t change the fact that you need to be with your family for an e tea hour but maybe your boss needs to take this chance to have a back up plan if he’s not got one already. some employers can get very complacent with a conscientious employees.

Solasum · 14/05/2024 05:57

If he is that unwell, he needs to spend the day in bed and sleep as much as possible. Not try and work.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 14/05/2024 06:05

Why would you get in trouble if you’ve never done this before? Tell work you can either be late or will have to have a sick day? I think they might be ok with being late- depending on the role

If you are a cf at work then yes you might be in trouble then most employers will be understanding

Original poster
Blueberryancakes · 14/05/2024 06:06

Im front of house for a small medical practice- not nhs
I get in before anyone else - set up clinic and I there to answer the first lot of calls. Normally they are urgent first thing.

I’m not the only key holder but it will be tricky for the other staff members to do my job while trying to see appointments.

I’ve never done this before so hopefully they will be understanding.

My managers children are all in boarding schools and his wife doesn’t work - so he would have never had these problems

OP posts:
Stopandlook · 14/05/2024 06:09

Explain to your boss - as above you are entitled to parental leave under these circumstances. I can’t imagine it being a problem- if it is you need to look for a better employer!

Hope your husband feels better soon!

Hadalifeonce · 14/05/2024 06:10

Tell them as soon as possible, then perhaps they can make arrangements for someone else to cover for you until you arrive

Brainded · 14/05/2024 06:10

why would you be in trouble @Blueberryancakes your boss (unless they are a huge asshole) can’t really say or do anything to be honest…especially if it’s a once off. Just tell them, any Normal person would be obliging. What is your job?

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 14/05/2024 06:11

Some of the replies on here!
Would you seriously want a very unwell person who hasn't slept to drive your kids?
It will be fine, OP. Explain to your employer and they'll in all likelihood be fine.