Advice - school run sick husband

[Blueberryancakes]

Need some advice please.

I start work at 8am.

Husband works from home so will do the school run just before he starts work.

He’s been sick in the night and feels dreadful. I’ve been up half the night with him. He can’t do the school run.

I’ve got no one to ask to do it.

Im going to have to call my boss and tell him I’ve got to do the school run so won’t be in until 9:30am.

Im panicking I’m going to be in trouble for being late. Can my boss refuse me coming in late?

Why opt out of class Whatsapp. Rejoin if you can and ask for help. Of course your dh can't do the school run. He sounds very ill. Has he taken his temp. Read up on septics. Your boss will understand and it's his job to sort. Ring asap and let them know you be late for lunch and why. Hope dh feels better soon x

I’m sure your employer will be fine with this- you’re doing your best to get into work. If they aren’t ok with it they are being jerks! Just say it with confidence, this is how it’s got to be.

Some of the replies on mumsnet are nuts about men. If they are ill- lazy, weekend away- selfish etc… I often think if this was reversed and the mother figure wrote it the thread would be up in arms!

I hope your husband picks up soon and you have a quick day at work after a sleepless night!

Yes, so do I. Do you work in the 19th Century?

Take your child to work with you as a pp has said. Then take her to school late once the morning rush is over.

Or take her to school before your work and just drop her off early. As a one off she could go in with breakfast club (not to eat, just to be inside).

I’ve been properly dreadfully ill and had no option but to do the school run before. I appreciate that you really do think your husband isn’t up to it, but if he was on his own, what would he do?

And yes, join the parents WhatsApp! You can always mute it if it’s too busy, but my patience wears thin when parents don’t join but then feel disconnected/ don’t remember it’s non uniform day etc.

It sounds like you’re exhausted after being up with your husband all night. Hope your daughter gets to school ok somehow!

I’ve rang him. He was okish. I’ve got to take a few hours unpaid.

Feel a bit daft now - I made that such a bigger deal in my head then what it was .
Thanks for everyone’s suggestions

But he isn’t on his own, he has a wife, they are a team!? He sounds dreadfully unwell and the option is his wife goes into work late for the first time in 9 years… he hardly sounds like a haphazard Dad!

There is absolutely not a chance in hell my husband would do that to me, nor me him!

Glad he was fine with you, it’s awful ringing in even when it’s a genuine reason, especially if you’re not doing it often.

Keep DD off with him, I assume.

Because he's sick, the whole point of the post.

OP Your boss will understand I'm sure, these things happen.

OP, I would use this as an opportunity to put in place a contingency plan should anything like his happen in future. I get why you were worried if you're the one opening and setting up for the day. What happens if you catch what your DH has?

OP has stated he's calling in sick.

I think they do need to have a contingency plan for the future.

I can’t understand how you have a school
age child yet not know any other parent well enough to ask them to drop your kid at school. Do neither you f you talk to anyone in the playground or organise play dates?

Only if ye unwell person was male, otherwise no.

Shocking responses.

And not the question OP asked, she says he's too unwell right at the beginning.

Well here is your 🥇 because you had "flu" and did the school run!

OP has very clearly stated he is too unwell.

The whataboutery is not required.

I wouldn't have anyone I'd feel comfortable enough to ask this kind of favour of either.

Play dates are normally sorted because either parent has offered, I'd really not like to offload my child on to someone else who happens to have a child in the same school year without them suggesting it.

If he's on immunosuppressive drugs, you need to get in touch with his rheumatology/whatever team and tell them how ill he is.

But she is there.

If I had been up all night vomiting with a high fever and then felt genuinely too ill to get out of bed, I would not take kindly to DH refusing to do the school run and saying "well, what if I wasn't here??" as his excuse.

You are entitled to unpaid time off for dependents. As you and. No choice you’ll just have to ring your boss and tell them.

I’ve had a sick bug recently where I could not have taken my children to school and I’m a real trooper having spent a number of years as a single parent!

I didn’t join the what’s app group as my friend told me the nightmares about constant messages!
Im definitely going to ask to join it now.

In all the time my daughter has been at school we’ve never had an issue. Yes me and dad have been poorly but never too poorly to not do the school run. With him wfh and me only working 3 days a week we’ve always managed.

The two mums I do know on the school run both use breakfast club.

I do know the other mums to say hi to but I wouldn’t have their numbers to call and tbh I don’t know them well enough to ask such a favour.

If I was up all night vomiting with a fever and my husband demanded me to suck it up and do the school run I’d consider leaving him.

He’s not like that and he’s normally very reliable.

Im going to call the drs just because of his temperature and the fact he’s immune suppressed.

I know the signs for Sepsis. My mum’s had sepsis twice (nearly died) - both times I called the dr because I suspected it

Well now’s the time to rectify that! Don’t you have their numbers from school party rsvp’s? Next time save them.

I’m a lone parent so slightly different, but being on good terms with the mums has been so helpful when I’ve been too ill to do the school run. As long as you offer the same in return.

Ignore the man haters, most adds are reliable but a lot of MN just like to hate and feel superior. It's ridiculous.

I particularly laughed at poster that announced that she did the school run with flu!

Bit like saying I had Covid and didn't need a respiratory, so why did you?

I hope he feels better soon, I also hope it doesn't do the rounds on the family.

Honestly, if it's going to stress you out this much being late for work, I would leave DD at home, go to work, talk to your boss, then take her to school when you finish your urgent tasks.

You should be entitled to 5 family care days per year (in the uk). Telling your boss isn't being late, it's informing them you have an issue at home and you'll be in later.. Any boss or organisation who is worth their salt will be fine with this.