Advice - school run sick husband

[Blueberryancakes]

Need some advice please.

I start work at 8am.

Husband works from home so will do the school run just before he starts work.

He’s been sick in the night and feels dreadful. I’ve been up half the night with him. He can’t do the school run.

I’ve got no one to ask to do it.

Im going to have to call my boss and tell him I’ve got to do the school run so won’t be in until 9:30am.

Im panicking I’m going to be in trouble for being late. Can my boss refuse me coming in late?

They can be an absolute nightmare - not always the school only focus I thought there would be!

Mine are on mute, so I only read them when/if I can be arsed, and I'm not disturbed by constant notifications.

Just tell your boss you will be in late and why. The alternative is that you take the whole day off. Which would boss prefer?

I can relate to this. Myself and my husband have no childcare other than us. I have two jobs but they are in the same building, plenty of times when my husband has fallen sick and I have had to take a leave of absence from one job and turn up late for the other. You do feel bad, and my boss has been OK about it, but unfortunately, family comes in these circumstances. Hopefully, you have a very understanding boss and colleagues. Hope this helps xx

When you do go into work or another day you need to speak to your boss about a back up plan in case this scenario ( hope it never does) happens again. They need to have a plan in case of emergency more than you need to ask strangers - relative strangers other parents - to take DC to school.

She’s 9. Why can’t she walk? Hardly any kids get picked up at my kid’s school from around 8 onwards.

Hope your DH is better soon. Chances are you might get whatever he has too, so your boss might have to cope without you being in for a few days (unless you are @PineappleTime who would not only do the school run but go into work too all whilst vomiting over the clients)

If you did the school run then you didn't have the actual flu. God some MNers are such martrys, and bitchy ones at that

@WarshipRocinante not everyone lives within walking distance of school. Surely you can fathom that?!

Guess it’s fully dependent on where the OP is. A few weeks ago 9 year old girl got snatched from outside Harrods, drugged and sexually assaulted. But good for you and most of the kids where you live I guess.

Crikey, my child is 8 nearly 9- I wouldn’t let him walk. Especially if he’s not familiar with the route. I’m surprised this would be considered over ringing your boss and taking a couple of hours unpaid leave!

Yes, he definitely couldn´t have done the school run in this state!

I am glad you managed to sort it out. Do you have a solution for tomorrow / the next few days? I would start organising this asap.

You have a right to unpaid statutory leave for emergency care for dependents.

You can't be sacked but your boss could require you to be unpaid to for the time you take.

Are you in England? There is a massive difference between England and Scotland with this, I’ve learned from mumsnet. Your schools don’t let the kids out without a parent half the time. Scottish schools will make sure the primary 1s have a parent but after P1, all bets are off and the kids just walk out. So, most of us let our kids walk
home much earlier than the English. It’s really not an issue, very normal and a 9 year old is plenty capable of walking home.

I mean it depends on the child in question doesn’t it? Some 9 year olds are very sensible, some aren’t.

I wouldn’t let mine but that’s because we live 5 miles from school down country lanes and national speed limit roads so wouldn’t be safe.

OP don’t worry about it, sometimes these things can’t be helped!

hope you and your DC don’t catch what DH has! Sounds dreadful

Bless you OP, glad you got it sorted and I hope your DH is ok.
My little tip, when you get into work don't over apologise and say it won't happen again. These things happen, it can't always be avoided. Have a chat with your boss and say your husband is currently unwell so perhaps other procedures can be put in place over the next few days.

Mumsnet is wild sometimes.

OP: My husband has been vomiting all night and is too weak to get out of bed

Mumsnet: tell him to man up and drive the kids to school.

Because that sounds safe. 🙄

He needs to suck it up, bring the kids to school and then go home and get back into bed. It's flu not V&D. I'm sure you've battled on through when sick.

Given some of the reactions on this thread I can see why you might not want to post on a WhatsApp group, but still, it is worth trying to make a network. What I would say however is that normally I would expect the person doing the school run most of the time to make that network. I guess for some it sounds too transactional but it was part of my friendships with other parents, male and female, that we helped each other out with stuff like this. It's a close-knit community round here and it's just accepted that you lend a hand. I think we are lucky to have such a big network between us - there are probably around 20 households I could call on and most are still mates years later - but most people manage to make a friend or two like this.

When your dh is well again, have a talk with him. If you finish at 2, presumably you are a good candidate for helping out after school. He could be a good help for before school. Who does he know among the morning parents? Has he ever helped out anyone in this way? Be the community that you need.

I will say though that because my dh was chronically ill, ds walked to school and back alone from age 6. Not ideal but it was OK.

Breathe OP. You will be fine.

What are your work like generally? It doesn’t sound great that you’re too scared to ask for an hour off, after all this time of being reliable.

My current employer is brilliant but I’ve worked for some
horrors in my time who absolutely would have made this an issue, just because they can. If that’s what your employer is like, find somewhere that truly appreciates you.

i am absolutely no doctor but if your husband has recently been put on immunosuppressants then this is perhaps unlikely to be the last time you need some flex?

He's on immunosuppressive medication. It might be flu, but it could be far more severe - or it could be a reaction to his medication/dangerous side effect/urgently needs to stop taking it. Which is why I said they need to contact his specialist team.

Sometimes it's important to read all the words in posts.

Did you read the OP? He has been vomiting. And would you say the same to a woman? Or would you berate her husband for not staying home to deal with the kids?

In fairness, that was the minority of posters - and there are always some who pop up on any illness-related thread to describe how they have always 'got on with it' when sick. The popular concensus on the thread is that the OP needed to call work as she did or find other childcare. Not many advocated telling her husband to do it.

I'd just ring in sick tbh. If your DH has something terrible, the chances are you'll have it tomorrow anyway. Your boss making you take unpaid leave for 1.5hours sounds an arse and is taking advantage of your extremely apologetic nature.
Life stuff happens OP, apologise once for inconvenience and leave it at that in future. Hope DH better soon, it sounds awful.