Won’t you be hot in that? Aibu to think don’t ask someone this?

[beenoutontheopenroad]

I’m overweight (I’m doing something about it but regardless) and I hate showing parts of my body which is difficult when the suns out.

Yesterday I met up with friends and had a t-shirt on that was a 3 quarter length sleeve. Straight away I got asked “won’t you be hot in that”.

If you’re that person please just don’t comment this, it personally makes me feel shit as it’s taken me ages to get ready and I already feel so far out of my comfort zone . It’s also irrelevant to you if I’m hot as I’m the one who has to deal with it.

@phoenixrosehere it’s an unnecessary question in your view, not everyone would feel the same and everyone is welcome to think and receive questions differently aren’t they.

ok one more time for the hard of thinking.

The person you are talking to is an adult with the capacity to choose what they wear therefore

They have made that decision because what they have chosen is what they will feel comfortable in in the prevailing weather conditions

or

There is another reason that they have chosen what they are wearing and they have also not chosen to inform you of what that is.

In circumstance one there is no reason to ask the question. in circumstance two, its not your business and you risk hurting/upsetting the person which I am (fairly) sure was not the intention.

Of course it's a personal comment and a totally unnecessary one at that.

Why not assume that grown adults can dress themselves without your input and commentary?

Yes, there is implied criticism in your dress choice when someone says that, but it isn't something that I would take offence at. I feel the cold quite easily, and when DD says "mum, aren't you boiling in that?" I just say "no".

would you be annoyed if it was some random who said it?

Yeah, I wouldn't take offence either but I just think it's easier to avoid unnecessary personal comments like that - it rarely ever achieves anything good.

I cover up to avoid sun damage and I'm quite happy to say it, but I understand that someone else might not want to have attention drawn to their choices.

No. I don't take offence easily.

I cover up to avoid sun damage as well @fieldsofbutterflies

She wouldn't agree to sit in the sun with a big hat on. She had way too many clothes on as she had covered herself head to toe to avoid wearing sun cream (and not in particularly thin clothing either).

"I don’t mind being in sun for a short amount of time but i wouldn’t want to sit and have lunch / coffee in full sun ☀️"

Makes sense if it's 30 degrees, but it was low twenties in May. It was my first chance of the year to get some sun. Never again!