Y6 teacher and death of parent

[Readysteadygotoschool]

My dad died today, after very brief illness. I’m a Y6 teacher and it’s test week from Monday.

I just don’t think I can be in school this week. Feel like I’m letting the kids down and the teacher guilt is making me think I should just go in for the four days of tests and front it out then deal with it afterwards.

I haven’t told my headteacher yet but he will probably be pissed off if I don’t go in. I don’t know what to do.

I've worked in schools for years and I understand the guilt feeling. It's a lottery as to how the SLT will deal with this kind of thing.
If you can't handle it take the time off for your own mental health and healing.
At the end of the day someone told me you are just a number. I was saddened to realise this fact eventually.
Teaching is a vocation and most teachers are fully committed to their students and the responsibilities.
So sorry for your loss.

Look after your wellbeing,it's just a test ,sending love and good wishes

I completely agree ; you must grieve as much as you need and everyone is different. You will also be demonstrating how effective self-care is so important. The children will benefit from knowing this.

So sorry Readysteadygotoschool, it's absolutely shit loosing your Dad as it is and then to see such a lack of empathy from your Boss. Try if you can to be kind to yourself in regards to the exams, im willing to bet your Year 6's would be fully understanding of you not being there during their SATS and wouldn't hold it against you. Suspect they would actually be very caring and compassionate to you if they knew why you were on leave.
I hope im not overstepping here but would highly recommend asking your GP about bereavement counselling, obviously only if and when you feel ready for it. I found it immensely helpful when I lost my mum and sister as I also took on the responsibilities of funeral arrangements, dealing with wills etc for both. It was a godsend to have someone to physically talk to, who was non judgemental and who helped me so much with understanding/coping with my grief.

Hi OP. Sorry for your loss.
67 is relatively young I think, and so less expected even after a brief illness.
We had an quite elderly relative die recently, and even though expected and everyone was well prepared for it, it was still a blow for those very close to them at the time.
As for your Head. I'll be charitable, perhaps they were rushing and just wanted to signal that it was message received at the time, but otherwise, I completely agree with your reaction.
If its the latter, then its probably someone who has never been through this themselves and so just doesn't get it.
I get the impression when these things happen that some people think one is going to be at home sobbing all the time and that one should "man up" and get on with things.
But in fact, you are often dealing with shock, trying to come to terms with the realisation of what it means for the future, and grief as well, and one's head is so full of arrangements, letting others know what's happened, supporting others who were close to the person, and so on that there's very little headspace to deal with other things in that short space of time.
So please don't feel guilty about taking this time for yourself. Its normal to be allowed this time. You sound like a kind and thoughtful person, you've prepared your class during the last year. In a test situation, presumably they will all be occupied and need supervision, but not the same intensity as if they were doing actual lessons. Wishing you and your family all the best x

I am very sorry that your Father died, very important that you take care of yourself.
You need to speak to the Head and have the time off that is right for you.
Your commitment to the pupils is great to hear; there will be other staff that can support

YES YOU ARE BEING EXCEPTIONALLY UNREASONABLE -- TO YOURSELF.
You need to grieve. Take the compassionate leave you are both entitled to and require. The children and parents will understand and support you. * *