Y6 teacher and death of parent

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My dad died today, after very brief illness. I’m a Y6 teacher and it’s test week from Monday.

I just don’t think I can be in school this week. Feel like I’m letting the kids down and the teacher guilt is making me think I should just go in for the four days of tests and front it out then deal with it afterwards.

I haven’t told my headteacher yet but he will probably be pissed off if I don’t go in. I don’t know what to do.

Please tell your headteacher/slt. They'd need to be a very unpleasant type of person to not realise the impact the death of your parent will ab e in you.

Telling them as soon as you can gives them chance to put things in place. There just be other teaching staff your class are familiar with and with some juggling then plans can be out in place before Monday - last year's teacher, a HLTA who regular does PPA cover in your place, a member of SLT, a familiar TA to support in class, etc.

Sometimes you have to put yourself first. You are human. Right now you are an adult child grieving the loss of a loved parent. And that is allowed to come first.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take the time off.

And you know = even if this was GCSEs or A levels, then it's fine to prioritise yourself.
Let alone SATs - which are ultimately not significant or make/break for children.

Take some time off if you need to. I don't feel that taking a few days off really makes any difference to how you grieve because grieving is a long process which changes and develops over time and eventually you need to fit your grief in alongside the rest of your life. But if you need space to process the immediate emotions then definitely take some time off work.

Just to add, you have the significance of SATS completely out of proportion if you think they trump you looking after yourself in this time of grief. If you think the children will be too stressed to deal with these tests without you, the school has done you and them a disservice by putting such pressure on all of you.

Sorry for your loss.

I understand your concerns, but you need time to grieve and the children will undertake that.

At the end of the day they are more important things than SATS, you wellbeing is one of them.

Your school will manage.

You'll also be teaching the children a life lesson too, which is nothing is more important than your own well being and even super heros need to put themselves first sometimes. 💐

So very sorry for your loss.
Please look after yourself and take time away from school. I regret that I went back before I was ready to face a class after my Dad died.
Teaching is a difficult enough job without personal grief added to the mix.

Take the time. You're still in shock and processing. I needed a month off work when mum died, and in hindsight longer would have been better. I'm just over a year in now, and just starting to feel more like me again.

Don't underestimate what grief can do to you physically. It's exhausting, all consuming and so, so painful. This is the time where you need looking after, by others and yourself.

The head has no right to be unpleasant about this. Your class and their parents will more than understand why you weren't in.
Of course to year 6 kids SATs are everything but you've prepared them as best you can and hopefully you have a TA that all the children are more than familiar with so whoever steps in, the kids will be fine.
Take the time off you need and don't give it another thought.

If you have an app that you communicate with then if you're feeling Upto it maybe drop a message to them wishing them all good luck, that Miss can't come in but you know they'll smash it( or something similar).
Our school use seesaw so the kids can respond to their teachers messages.

I went back to work (not a teacher) just a couple of days after my dad died because I felt guilty about being off. I was a mess and had no business being there - they should have sent me home, but they didn't and I am still resentful about it now.

Take the time off. The school can get someone else to cover the SATS. You need to grieve.

Ex SMT and advisory teacher here.
I'm sorry for your loss.
You go to be with your family this week. School will understand and won't expect you in.

Really sorry for your loss.
If you’re in work and not at 100% then you should staff off work. Some people like distraction of work and other don’t. Put yourself and your well being first. Your head teacher needs to value his staff and do what’s right for them and not just the students. Even if it is the first few days of this week take some time to process your emotions.

It really depends on how you feel. When my mum died I went back into work as a teacher six days later as it helped me cope by occupying my mind. Perhaps you feel you might be judged if you go in to work so soon or perhaps you need the time off to cope. Do what’s best for you.

I'm sorry for your loss. You have to take the time off.

Just get a phone appointment with GP and tell them you've just lost your father and cannot cope with being in front of a class at the present time. You can self certify for first 7 days so that takes some of the pressure off you.
I'm sorry for your loss, losing a parent is very hard

So very sorry for your loss.
You need to take time off for yourself and to make necessary arrangements. If it were my kid in Y6, I would want you to do this.

Also, if you don’t take time for yourself now, you may end up taking even more time at a later date when it really hits. You.

My child is taking his SATS this year.

I’d expect you to take the time off that you need.

Please take time off. I’m a year 6 teacher and I would not (and def could not) go in to work and be useful after the death of a parent. The chn will be fine without you; in fact, if they see you are upset and not your usual self, it could wobble them. In a way, you’d be doing them a favour.
As teachers, we give so much of ourselves and time to work. It really is ok to be selfish and family IS important.

1. They're tests that don't matter to the children (and any of us who have been teachers know this).
2. You've done all the preparation they need.
3. Other colleagues will ensure it all goes smoothly.
4. You've lost your DAD. This is time for you to take care of yourself and other loved ones.
5. Don't give SATs ANY more thought.

Take the time that you need. Your Head can go whistle. No decent parent is going to begrudge you this time off. If you were ill, you would have no choice but to be off. This is just the same. Taking care of yourself right now will eliminate the need for a longer period of time off because the grief isn't managed and catches up with you.

You are completely replaceable. Your dad is not. Take bereavement leave.

Please look after yourself - take time off, then find a new job your HT is disgusting 💐

This! With 💐

I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't ring in sick though. Tell the truth.