to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

[ticketproblems]

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

Do you have any friends?

I'm guessing probably not if that's your attitude.

Plenty. And I've also been pregnant.

I can’t understand when you are saying “swap with her” do you mean that you and your DH will get seating tickets and she and her BF will get standing tickets? And do you plan to pay her difference in price ?

Tbh I think you are being a bit harsh on your friend, they are now her tickets not yours. I would take one of those fold up rests to take the load off my feet. Or not go.

I think OP’s tickets are more expensive than her friend’s.

Could you and your friend sit together and your husband stand with her partner?

(It wouldn’t be what I’d want ideally, but it could be a solution).

The op's tickets are the more expensive ones.

As someone who was pregnant last year and did a couple of festivals earlier in pregnancy, I can totally understand you not wanting to stand. It was near impossible for me to stand for any length of time near the end of my pregnancy and just plain tiring near the beginning. Anyone who says that they managed just had a different pregnancy and that's fine for them but doesn't mean anything about your pregnancy.

Secondly, I don't think the accessibility team will be able to help with pregnancy. In nearly all event t&c's it says accessibility is for long term disability and conditions and does not include temporary conditions such as pregnancy or a broken leg. (Completely fair in my opinion)

At this stage, I would tell my friend how it was that you can either have the seated tickets or none of you go especially if she wants to share accommodation or travel with you.

No, she is not selfish. Shechas paid for dearer ticket because she wanted to sit.
OP being pregnant is not friend's problem

She can.
The lead booker doesn't have to go anymore.

She (or actually her ex) paid for cheaper seats. Bizarrely (to my mind, as to yours) the standing tickets are more expensive. I assume they are closer to the stage, or some such.

It looks (for the UK gigs at least) as if the lead booker doesn't have to be there so you could sell your standing tickets and your friend could still go. However, if she wants to share travel/accommodation you just need to say that you can't go unless you are seated. So she has the choice to swap tickets or go without you.

If her boyfriend hates Taylor Swift, why is he bothering to go? Why don’t you and your friend just go and have the seats? Does your husband like TS so much that also really wants to be there or is he happy to forego it?

It's been aeons since I went to a concert, and that was at Brixton Academy. All standing, stick to the carpet venue!
Tbh, I don't get the Swift hysteria from adults, but clearly it is a thing

If she won’t swap, then she’s letting you know she doesn’t care about you. Therefore, sell her two and go with your partner and use the seated tickets.

Fuck her, basically. If that’s her response.

I would just say 'Sorry friend, but I'm going to have to take the seat tickets, as I really don't feel I can stand throughout the whole performance this far on in my pregnancy, you won't mind standing, will you? If she says she does, which if she's that good a friend I would be very surprised by, then simply tell her, that unless she's prepared to do it, she won't be able to go anyway, as she won't be able to get in if you don't go. It's really not that difficult, is it?

Erm really?
I dont think so 😂

Some of the responses on here 'it's your fault you got pregnant' and 'I've been pregnant before- you'll be fine to stand' my eyes have not rolled harder. Each pregnancy is different for a start, if you're lucky enough to breeze through it with no issues then good for you. But for others pregnancy can be horrendous.
I'm currently third trimester and would not be able to stand for that amount of time and I've had a relatively straight forward pregnancy. In fact getting pregnant was the one thing that made me feel better about not being able to get TS tickets in the first place!
As others have said, OP you need to be really blunt with your friend- either she swaps tickets or you won't be able to go.

Where have you been?! I live in Asia and people went crazy here (mainly grown ups) to get tickets to the Eras tour, and flew in from across the region. Could not get a taxi for love nor money whilst Tay Tay was in town!

Her friend can go though, the lead booker doesn't need to go anymore.

Isn't holding onto something that doesn't belong to you essentially considered the same as stealing anyway? They are her friends tickets.

Yes I was stunned and I was really surprised to see a lot of adults at Olivia Rodrigo too. I was there with my daughter but there was loads of adults there without kids.

I wouldn't have went to her if I wasn't bringing my daughter, however I can't stand music snobbery. There's nothing wrong with pop and it makes loads of people happy, there's probably loads of people who wouldn't be able to stand what you listen to either, it's not superior just because it isn't cheesy pop 😂

Ticketmaster has the option to transfer tickets into another person's name, this is what you do if you buy tickets as a gift for someone, I've done it several times recently.

You may be the named person but your friend owns those two tickets. She's paid for them (yes ok her boyfriend paid but he presumably paid for them for her) and she will likely have a conversation saved to prove it. If you decide not to go and prevent her from going to you are obliged to refund her the cost.

Yes, the very decent thing is for her to offer to swap one or both seated tickets to you, but no she's not obliged to offer.

Try asking her again, nicely. Explain the venue isn't able to help you, please could she swap her two tickets for your two tickets, or could she swap one ticket so that you can sit with her and her boyfriend stand with yours. But if her answer is no you'll have to accept it.

They’re actually the ex’s tickets!

why don’t you suggest that you sit with your friends and the two partners stand together?

I don’t see accessibility helping. Have you checked whether there is a reason that she wants seating, maybe she can’t stand for that long herself? It’s a difficult situation but if you hadn’t have given them the code then this option would not be available to you so I don’t think you are entitled to it but would be nice if she would agree to swap