to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

[ticketproblems]

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

This

Yes they are. Booked with her code. Booked via her account. Booked in her name.

The only other stakeholder is the ex as he paid for them.

She hasn't. Ex paid

The ex gave the friend the tickets so they're the friends tickets.

Anyway the OP has since updated that the exes card was used for the seated tickets, therefore he's the lead booker for the seated ticket so if the rule still stands then even the OP can't use the seated ticket unless she's going to go with the ex 😅

But even so if X pays Y for something and then X tells Z that she can keep it then Z is the actual owner.

And the ex gave them to the friend.
It's not that difficult to understand.

Why don’t you both leave your men behind, then you can both sit together in the seated seats and sell the standing seats to other friends? Particularly as the men don’t seem overly bothered about seeing TS!…. Just ask two other friends, you can all travel together and split off for the concert and then stay together in hotel/apartment and travel home together! Or tell her you’ll refund her one of the tickets (her bf’s) and then sell the two standing ones back to ticket master? (I believe the only way to resell is through them??)…
Just seems silly taking two people who aren’t bothered when so many people out there will be Desperate to go… I think if I was your friend I’d offer because I’m a people pleaser, but then my bf would moan and I I’d be pissed about having to stand for (did you say) 8 hours!!

By the ex who then gave them to the friend as a present. Do you not understand how presents work? Things that I have been given are mine even though I didn’t actually pay for them

That's a totally different discussion. I commented that friend hadn't paid - ex had.

Facts - tickets bought wit OP code via OP account with OP as lead booker. If she really wanted to be as bad a friend, OP could inform friend that she has no claim on the tickets.

Informing that due to circumstances, OP must now have the seated tickets or nobody can go seems fair and rational. Nobody's missing out, everyone gets to enjoy.

Thanks for explaining how presents and ownership work.

I understand perfectly. I haven't said otherwise. It's you who has the comprehension challenges

If you understand perfectly then why do you keep making out that they're the OPs tickets 🤔😂

But you are saying that the op owns the tickets. Yes she bought them using her code but for the ex using his credit card, with a mutual understanding between the two of them that they were his. Therefore at the point of purchase of the tickets they were his.
He then chose to give them to the friend as a present making them the friends (the lead booker element complicates it a bit but it doesn’t mean they are the op’s tickets).

@ticketproblems I know you've said the lead booker/account issue remains but everything I have seen confirms that Ticketmaster and AXS are not enforcing this because of the huge amount of people who have booked on other accounts and used other people's credit cards.

There are emails, social media posts etc confirming this

Which city is it? Sorry if you've said, I can't see that. It would help to be able to find out the actual situation.

I think you need to be really clear on this because if that's your argument for your friend having to swap, she can probably easily prove that isn't true.

I do think she should either swap or agree to sit with you and let the partners stand or sell those tickets but she doesn't have to.

I wouldn't want to stand for hours on end with nowhere to sit, struggling to get to a toilet, get a drink etc and her ex paid a huge amount of money for them to have VIP seats. I don't blame you not feeling able to stand I'd be reluctant to give that up my seats too.

OP you don’t need to be there at all because I bought tickets via Ticketmaster and just sent my friend a screenshot and also emailed her all the details and her and her friend went successfully without a problem to the gig.

UPDATE:

All resolved! I have got seated tickets and my friend has not had to give up hers, I’ve had to pay even more for the pleasure (thousands now spent!) but I did get given a more expensive set of seats by understanding people after my millionth email!

That’s a relief for you. I’d still be really cross with your friend.

Brilliant news, I hope you have a fabulous time

Fantastic news! I think I'd be pulling back a bit from that friendship after the way she's acted over this.

Agreed, great news but I would be distancing myself a bit from this friend while she’s with this guy - and it would be a no to her suggestion of sharing other trip expenses, accommodation etc. I think you mentioned she had suggested that.

Great news x

YEA! Can you now sell your standing tickets or was it a trade-in?

It sounds like you and your DH are not fond of friend's BF, so I would opt out of sharing a hotel room, ride or anything else with them.

You and your DH go and have a wonderful time. Let her ex have the bother of transferring any tickets since they are not under your cc.

It was a trade in, so I have to just pay extra - apparently they’re still VIP and I’m grateful.

I hope all stays well in this pregnancy and I can go!

DH and I are not planning to travel or share anything with them as it isn’t meant to be a joint trip, they just happen to be going to the same place!

Brilliant news @ticketproblems - hopefully your pregnancy will go smoothly so you can relax and enjoy the concert. I'm really claustrophobic so at events like this I just chill in my seat at the end until the masses of crowds have left so you could do the same to avoid being squeezed.

How are you feeling about your friend now? I think I would find her attitude really hard to get past. She was more worried about keeping her new bloke happy than her so-called best friend who will be heavily pregnant..... She doesn't sound like much of a friend - and I think you mentioned previously sharing accommodation/travel etc? Absolutely no chance at all if that were me. I'd be putting a bit of distance between us I think.

Happy for you OP.

Even if people stand (as they often do) having a seat you can dip in and out of will make all the difference. We had some fainters in the standing area at a Billie Eilish concert I went to. No bloody way was what I saw suitable for a heavily pregnant woman.

As an aside your friend isn't up to much in the friendship stakes. If ever there was a time for her to step up and show you it was over this. I personally wouldn't feel the same about her even though it has worked out well in the end.

Wishing you an easy and happy pregnancy.

Great news but agree with others that your friend has been selfish and you should step back a bit. Hope you have a great trip.

I'm glad you sorted it but did you actually ask her to swap in the end and she refused? I wouldn't have let a friend pay extra after doing me a favour.