to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

[ticketproblems]

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

As in, I know you asked in the first instance but did she know you'd been through accessibility?

Rather than worrying about who's being unreasonable here I think you need to say outright, "Will you swap with me? Otherwise I'll be unable to go and I realise that likely means you can't go either but I need a seat since I'm pregnant." That's literally all you can do. She either agrees to swap, or none of you go. It's not about who is or isn't being unreasonable, it's a simple statement and question for her to answer. But since you asked, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask at all!

You are not okay

Easy, go with friend and sit and sell the others

You actually can transfer the tickets now. They sent a notification about this. I know because I also purchased tickets under a family member’s name for 4 other people and they have all paid for the tickets, so I’d never dream of feeling any kind of entitlement to them. The arrangement was made when money was exchanged, you can’t go back on that. Just because they’re in your name doesn’t mean they’re yours if they have been paid for and there’s been an agreement made.

I think you are being unreasonable to be honest. Your situation is not anyone else’s responsibility

Personally I'd be delighted at not having to go to a Taylor Swift concert, but I wouldn't fancy going to any concert if heavily pregnant. You need to check if you are legally allowed to fly at the time. If she is a good friend she will swap if you ask her outright. I don't think this is something to get too stressed about, I'm sure you would be able to sell your tickets if they are that sought over and then your friend misses out anyway, so heads you win and tails she loses. If the concert is in continental Europe and I imagine it is imminent I expect it will be pretty hot and therefor uncomfortable for you seated or not.

I don't expect Taylor Swift has plans to stop touring any time soon, so worst case you can go at some time in the future when not pregnant and probably have a better time without a load of hassle.

You do NOT need the lead booker to be present to access the concert. This was changed. I got an email about it

If this was the case no one would be able to sell on tickets

Why don’t you ask if her new boyfriend would mind standing with your partner and you can sit with your best friend? That might be fun anyway.

This is a great suggestion.

I’m actually fed up of people not reading the thread fully, making a stupid comment, to no avail.

If you read the thread, I’ve provided evidence that where my ticket is for needs lead booker, confirmed by the host and ticketmaster as of this week, AND that they’re still not transferable.

You’d also have seen the issue is sorted.

If your friend isn’t sure whose is whose I don’t think there’s any issue. Give her the standing seats. They’re all great tickets and you can’t stand. It’s different if she knows she has seated tickets, then you’d need to ask, but if not, you’re still giving her 2 tickets.

At the venue you went to, not all are the same.

Posters telling op she will be fine standing because they were able to are the real unreasonable ones here.
With my first baby I would have been fine standing at 8 months. I'm 8 months pregnant again and I can't even walk the 5 minutes to my daughter's school without being in mass pain for the rest of the day.
All pregnancies are different and all women are different. Trust that op knows her own body and limits, rather than applying your own experiences to hers.

Initially I thought YABU I thought you couldn't attend and wanted her tickets but you just want to swap.
If my friend was heavily pregnant I would offer my seated tickets.
It's not a big deal to swap. I would just ask her. Being in a crowd pregnant is not a nice experience let alone for 3 hours.

Sorry but what are DH, AIBU,YABU & YANBU?

Glad you got sorted, OP. I wouldn’t fancy standing and I’m 16 years post-partum! I’m going with my daughter and have a seated ticket. My butt will be on that seat for a rest when I need it. Hope you have a great time at the concert.

You have also said you were going to tell your friend you would need to sell the tickets and none of you could go. So that would not be an option if the lead booker is required to attend. You have also said that your friend would need her ex to attend as he paid for the tickets but then you are saying all the tickets are technically yours. This thread is a mess of contradictions when it comes to clear facts.

Tbh I think I would take a step back from someone like you. Anyone who does a favour for a friend and then feels the friend owes them is someone who keeps score in relationships and no one needs someone like that. It’s not a big deal to give a friend a code if you are not using it for the two extra tickets.

As far as I know :
DH = darling husband
AIBU = am I being unreasonable
YABU = you are being unreasonable
YANBU = you are not being unreasonable
Go on the mumsnet website and there is a whole list of them eg.
OP = original post or poster
a D in front usually stands for darling eg DC = d. child/ren, DD - d. daughter etc.

It is a big like a secret code but you will get the drift the more you read.

Some posts are just ridiculous and others are hilarious. Check out the AIBU regarding song lyrics on Radio 1.

Beware though you can spend/waste hours on here.

glad its sorted OP. Hope all goes well and you have a good time.

This! Perfect solution.

I think perhaps you're thinking about this more than she is. Just be clear, you really need to sit down.

So happy for you that it's been sorted. (I'm going next week) So excited for you. Hope you have a wonderful time!

Hi Very Happy Bunny,

Thanks so much! Your effort is much appreciated in such a well informed reply. I honestly think it's ridiculous- these acronyms-they're unnecessary here & impossible to guess. There are so many (non sensical/unnecessary) acronyms theses days it's unbelievable. To see them here like this on a ''adult'' 'mums' group is quite surprising. Very off putting. I can reassure, I won't & don't have tie to spend hors as you say, figuring or reading things with loads of acronyms. I expect that in children's & teen texts or tik tok or that group of videos & articles. Very disappointing.
(This AIBU regarding song lyrics on Radio 1 is intriguing a bit..?) How is one to guess aibu means am I being unreasonable? It's ridiculous.

Posting again! Read this one as first one had spelling errors.

Hi Very Happy Bunny,

Thanks so much! Your effort is much appreciated in such a well informed reply. I honestly think it's ridiculous- these acronyms-they're unnecessary here & impossible to guess. There are so many (non sensical/unnecessary) acronyms theses days it's unbelievable. To see them here like this on a ''adult'' 'mums' group is quite surprising. Very off putting. I can reassure you, I won't & don't have time to spend hours as you say, figuring or reading things with loads of acronyms. I expect that in children's & teen texts or tik tok type places or in that group as it were of videos & articles. Very disappointing.
(This AIBU regarding song lyrics on Radio 1 is intriguing a bit..?) How is one to guess aibu means am I being unreasonable? It's ridiculous.

You're welcome.