Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

549 replies

ticketproblems · 11/05/2024 22:45

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

OP posts:
DownWithThisKindOfThing · 14/05/2024 11:56

You can ask if you want but she’s not obliged to agree. Why can’t you stand, unless you are having complications? Stand further back so as not to get squashed. Women work in nursing, care homes etc and are on their feet all day in pregnancy

flyinghen · 14/05/2024 11:58

flyinghen · 14/05/2024 10:29

I wonder if she's worried that your tickets would be more in cost since they are "much better". Could you say that you don't expect more money just want to swap seats so you can sit down because you're pregnant?

You could also say, if I can't go you can't get in as they are all in your name and that's how it works. This is true, if you genuinely won't go unless you can sit then say it how it is.

Having been in 3rd trimester in summer I can 100% say you are not being unreasonable to ask and if your tickets are genuinely better then I really don't see a problem. I would do this for my friend who's pregnant.

I will say though that from what I've heard everyone stands even in seated bits. So unless your front row, sitting down the whole time would mean you wouldn't see much. But it's good to have the option of a break.

Those codes were gold dust, I didn't get one and could have cried but I managed to get hospitality tickets thank god. I hope you get to the show!

Or after reading an update, if she paid VIP that's loads. How much is the difference in tickets? I would willing to pay her extra if hers cost more

flyinghen · 14/05/2024 12:02

Another suggestion, I'd rather go with my friend than a boyfriend who doesn't like TS. Can you go together with the seated tickets and sell the standing?

sleeponeday · 14/05/2024 12:23

LondonFox · 14/05/2024 08:18

My point was that if you cannot stand at concert you simply don't buy standing tickets. There was no disclosure of full pregnancy related issues someone can have and what that entails.l

If pregnancy impacts your life so much you are in pain, surelly you woyld make sure to buy tickets that are suitable for your condition no?

Show quote history

These tickets went on sale at the start of July 2023. They sold out in minutes.

OP said she'll be in her 3rd trimester next month - June 2024.

It's not "poor planning skills" to book standing concert tickets months before you get pregnant. Not unless you possess a crystal ball, anyway.

I'm not trying to have a go at you, but so far all you've done is comment in ways that make it glaringly obvious you don't know much about pregnancy complications, disability, or high-demand concert tickets. That's fine - God knows I learn new things all the time - but surely at some point, backing down with good grace would be sensible?

LondonFox · 14/05/2024 12:23

ticketproblems · 14/05/2024 10:02

This is wrong.

I bought tickets first under a package, in a different language, and checked out. I then realised they were standing once I had time to digest/translate. I just bought the “best” package.

I then considered buying seated and selling the standing if there were any but was unsure, then best friend and ex said they didn’t get a code and could they use mine. As you have to have the code attached to the account, I bought them for them and the ONLY tickets left were a VIP package with seats - the seats aren’t good but it was what was left over 24 hours later. They didn’t request an area but were happy with what I could get.

That’s the run through.

Show quote history

But if you were buying, why didn't you give your friend standing tickets amd bought yourself seated ones?

Donsyb · 14/05/2024 12:30

ticketproblems · 11/05/2024 22:55

I think this is it.

I could have easily used that code to buy tickets and sell for amazing profit, but I didn’t, because I felt that was unfair to others.

Having a code was like a holy grail. I was doing a massive favour.

Show quote history

How would you have told them if you can’t transfer ones you have?

MrsSlocombesCat · 14/05/2024 12:42

I don’t get it. YABU to be old enough to get pregnant and be a fan of Taylor Swift! 😁 I have listened to some of her music, it’s not that great. She can’t dance. But I think your friend is being unreasonable if she has no issues. I have never been able to stand for very long without getting lower back pain, pregnant or otherwise. Just tell it like it is. If you can’t sit down, you can’t go.

MadMadaMim · 14/05/2024 14:54

Your mistake is asking...!

The tickets are in YOUR name purchased from YOUR account. Just tell her.

'die to change in circumstances and no other option, I'm having the seated tickets and you are ill have the standing tickets. If this does not work for you, please let me know by x date (make it short - 5 days) and I will sort out refund /resale with your ex'

You seem to be making an issue out of a non issue - THEY'RE YOUR TICKETS

Tospyornottospy · 14/05/2024 17:22

OP can you put everyone out of their misery and just ask your friend directly please

MoreSettingsAvailable · 14/05/2024 17:35

This is one of those threads where I am desperate for the OP to get a backbone and be politely assertive…

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 14/05/2024 18:16

MadMadaMim · 14/05/2024 14:54

Your mistake is asking...!

The tickets are in YOUR name purchased from YOUR account. Just tell her.

'die to change in circumstances and no other option, I'm having the seated tickets and you are ill have the standing tickets. If this does not work for you, please let me know by x date (make it short - 5 days) and I will sort out refund /resale with your ex'

You seem to be making an issue out of a non issue - THEY'RE YOUR TICKETS

she has been paid for them though

FlickDrink · 14/05/2024 18:17

@MadMadaMim
The tickets are in YOUR name purchased from YOUR account. Just tell her

She sold the tickets to her friend though. She has already received the money for them.

Mnk711 · 14/05/2024 18:27

@ticketproblems why haven't you spoken to friend again yet and given her an ultimatum? You originally posted this ages ago and have had some good advice on a way forward. Don't stress yourself out about it and agonise, just get it done. It likely won't be as bad as you think.

kkloo · 14/05/2024 19:38

MadMadaMim · 14/05/2024 14:54

Your mistake is asking...!

The tickets are in YOUR name purchased from YOUR account. Just tell her.

'die to change in circumstances and no other option, I'm having the seated tickets and you are ill have the standing tickets. If this does not work for you, please let me know by x date (make it short - 5 days) and I will sort out refund /resale with your ex'

You seem to be making an issue out of a non issue - THEY'RE YOUR TICKETS

NO THEY'RE NOT

Original poster
ticketproblems · 14/05/2024 20:02

Tospyornottospy · 14/05/2024 17:22

OP can you put everyone out of their misery and just ask your friend directly please

😂😂😂

I am actually just considering not going, I feel like I’m already setting myself up to be a terrible mother based on what some people have said.

We entered another dilemma as the two tickets are under my name AND her ex’s name due to his card being used and now they require his ID but he wants nothing to do with her.

Let’s hope the lead booker rule goes away!

I will ask my friend based on the resolution to my last email.

OP posts:
LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 14/05/2024 20:20

So they were all booked under your account but you used your card for your tickets and he actually paid directly for his?

kkloo · 14/05/2024 20:23

ticketproblems · 14/05/2024 20:02

😂😂😂

I am actually just considering not going, I feel like I’m already setting myself up to be a terrible mother based on what some people have said.

We entered another dilemma as the two tickets are under my name AND her ex’s name due to his card being used and now they require his ID but he wants nothing to do with her.

Let’s hope the lead booker rule goes away!

I will ask my friend based on the resolution to my last email.

Show quote history

So you are leadbooker for the standing tickets and the ex is leadbooker for the seated tickets?

I can't see them enforcing it anyway, they don't seem to have in Paris.

SuuzeeeQ · 14/05/2024 20:29

kkloo · 14/05/2024 20:23

So you are leadbooker for the standing tickets and the ex is leadbooker for the seated tickets?

I can't see them enforcing it anyway, they don't seem to have in Paris.

Show quote history

No they won’t enforce it. How will they check IDs for 80,000 people. Completely unrealistic. OP should be able to transfer tickets around 3 days before.
OP try and swap your tickets to Wembley ones maybe and you can go earlier? Unless you have Madrid or Lisbon tickets of course.

Winnersgame · 14/05/2024 21:13

ticketproblems · 14/05/2024 20:02

😂😂😂

I am actually just considering not going, I feel like I’m already setting myself up to be a terrible mother based on what some people have said.

We entered another dilemma as the two tickets are under my name AND her ex’s name due to his card being used and now they require his ID but he wants nothing to do with her.

Let’s hope the lead booker rule goes away!

I will ask my friend based on the resolution to my last email.

Show quote history

I think that this is the best solution for you. It’s safest for you and you could definitely do without this stress.
You bought standing tickets and, as a pp said, if you then wanted seats you could have given the standing tickets to your friend instead of letting them use the code. Your friend’s bf owns the seated VIP tickets, as he paid for them on his cc, they are not yours as some pp’s have suggested. He has given them to your friend so let them sort out how to get around the ID situation.
If you can get around the ID issue, you should make lots of money selling your standing tickets.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and birth, I hope that it all goes well.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 14/05/2024 21:23

SuuzeeeQ · 14/05/2024 20:29

No they won’t enforce it. How will they check IDs for 80,000 people. Completely unrealistic. OP should be able to transfer tickets around 3 days before.
OP try and swap your tickets to Wembley ones maybe and you can go earlier? Unless you have Madrid or Lisbon tickets of course.

Show quote history

I have been to a large concert (not Taylor swift) where it was enforced. As you entered you had to scan your card that you have booked with against a machine

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 14/05/2024 21:25

Going to a concert in pregnancy does not make you a bad mother.

Catandsquirrel · 14/05/2024 21:31

Only read OP'S updates.

Doesn't sound like a flat no, she just wants you to exhaust accessibility contacts first. If you've done this, tell her and see what she says. She May well be fine with swapping if thats the only option but didn't want to if you could arrange seats all round. Update her!

Petiteplease · 14/05/2024 21:33

ticketproblems · 14/05/2024 20:02

😂😂😂

I am actually just considering not going, I feel like I’m already setting myself up to be a terrible mother based on what some people have said.

We entered another dilemma as the two tickets are under my name AND her ex’s name due to his card being used and now they require his ID but he wants nothing to do with her.

Let’s hope the lead booker rule goes away!

I will ask my friend based on the resolution to my last email.

Show quote history

I went to concerts (seated) whilst in my third trimester. You'll be fine as long as you are seated. I'm not a terrible mother.

Just swap the tickets with the ex. So then you and DH can sit down and the ex and his friend can stand. Your friend won't be able to go.

Willywaitingforbreakfast · 14/05/2024 21:58

Shake it off
Shake it off

Beautiful3 · 14/05/2024 22:09

I'd be inclined to cancel the whole thing to be honest.

Swipe left for the next trending thread