to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

[ticketproblems]

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

It’s Taylor swift, not slipknot, you will be fine standing as long as your pregnancy has had no complications.

"We may need to swap..." needs to be
"We have to swap. If we don't swap l can't go. If l don't, you don't".

That should sort it.

I really can't see the problem. As the lead booker you are in total control as she can't get in without you. You can't go if you can't sit down - end of.

Hi friend just want to get this resolved quickly now as so many things to do before baby arrives: Please confirm if you and bf are happy with the standing tickets. If not I am afraid I will need to find other people for these tickets. As you can only access the venue with me there as a lead booker I am afraid the only option is for you to take the standing tickets. No problem if you don't want to go under these circumstances. I totally understand. Please could you let me know asap so I can get this sorted. Apologies this isn't as straightforward as we had both hoped.

At this stage I probably would want her not to go and leave me the hell alone ...

YABU to feel entitled to the tickets you helped your friend buy & have been paid for.

YANBU to actually say to your friend you need her to swap or you won’t be able to go. If she’s any kind of decent friend she will swap, but you need to be clear you are asking her as a friend as otherwise you won’t be able to go at all.

I love all the people saying “oh i was fine in my 3rd Trimester so you will be”🙄 everyone is different😡

Honestly it's straightforward- either you get one of the seats or you sell all the tickets and you all don't go. That's it and that's what you need to tell your friend. "I will not be able to stand and so either I take one of the seats or I will have to sell the tickets and refund your ex-BF. What would you like me to do?"

This

But if she was any way decent she’d have offered right away.

You made a deal. Deal concluded. Money swapped hands.

New boyfriend doesn't probably want to go to concert if standing only.

However. Is she more concerned about new boyfriend romance or friend's pregnant health?

But tbh. Should you really be flying and going to a concert, surrounded by fanatical people when in your third trimester?

You probably don't think so, hence trying to swap your seat to a safer place.

But even if you swapped seats, it's probably not a great idea. Complications or you get shoved anywhere in the venue, where's your nearest hospital? How much is your travel insurance going to cost? And will they decline to pay because you didn't disclose you were going to a Taylor Swift concert, which is probably against the advice of your GP.

You know the sensible plan is to sell your tickets for a nice profit. And then rope in every available family member to guarantee, that they will babysit your child for several days when the next tour comes around.

The grandparents will almost certainly volunteer anything to persuade you stay home and safe.

And then make it the no.1 priority to get you to a TS concert after the birth - even if that means your husband flying you both to the US.

About your friend. She's a dick. She's fulfilled her side of the deal, so she owes you nothing. She's probably calling you stupid for still wanting to go. However, if her new boyfriend will not step in and try to support pregnant new-mum-to-be - he's really not husband material. It's not a relationship going anywhere happy.

I'm looking at this, as if you were one of my own daughters. I'd absolutely promise you anything in the world to persuade you not to go to this concert, and then do everything in my power to make it right for you. Because I know it's important to you.

Refunding the ex boyfriend is just petty, seeing as he gave the tickets to the friend. They're the friends tickets.

Hi OP,

also pregnant and going to Taylor Swift in London… my biggest concern about going was whether the noise would affect the baby! We are at the pink the weekend before and the Saturday before the TS gig at Twickenham for the rugby! I am just wondering if perhaps that waaay to much loud noise And crowds! Never mind the standing/seated dilemma you are in.

As the tickets will come into your app. Ask the ex- if he would like his money back and refund him! For what it’s worth we were at the Brits earlier this year in seats and I saw very little as everyone was on their feet! Even if she did swap there is a high chance you would have to stand anyway but atleast you won’t get pushed! Hope it all works out.

Why didn’t you discuss it when you found out you were pregnant? Surely if you’re already near your 3rd trimester you’ve had a while to sort it out?

I'm astounded she hasn't offered to swap. She clearly can't go without you, so she can either take the standing tickets or she can not go. Time to put your foot down.

OP - have you actually said that if you can’t sit down then you won’t be able to go? Therefore she also can’t go?

Is she aware of this?

I would say sorry but you now can’t go so you will sell the tickets and refund her.

If you’re such good friends and her BF doesn’t like Taylor Swift why can’t the two of you sit together and your DH find another friend to go?

Sorry but an accessible area is for disabled people, your pregnant not disabled.

Everyone is being really harsh. Your mate didn't buy the ticket and isnt even really a fan of TS. I would be more direct and tell her you need to swap. Yes you did her ex a favour but it's caused you issues as you can't do anything to get new tickets etc and if you don't agree to swap then noone goes. If it gets to that point I'd tell her she can have the money her ex paid for the tickets and you're taking the seated ones. If she really wants to go she can buy more.

If it helps, I went to a Foo Fighters concert standing at 38 weeks pregnant. They had a St John's ambulance person hovering nearby until I politely told them to bugger off this baby wasn't going anywhere. It was fine, despite thinking DS1 was going to attempt to kick his way out at one point, and generally people were lovely and gave me lots of room etc. That said I was the size of a small three bedroom semi so they didn't have a lot of choice.

DS1 was named after a member of the band a few weeks later.

You’re not being unreasonable. It’s not like you’re not trading for good tickets. You’ll have to tell her if you can’t sit , you can’t go which means she can’t go since you have to be there to get her in. Don’t feel bad; life happens. She probably just wanted to to try and trade locations first before agreeing to the swap.

The problem is, the Eras tour is something like 4 hours long - and then there's Paramore supporting, too. This is likely to be a 5 hour session of standing, and if people are fine with that - on top of travel, both ways, in a foreign country at that - when heavily pregnant, I think they'd probably be in a minority.

If this were a standard length concert it might be less of a big deal.

And to the previous poster... lots of women are pretty disabled by pregnancy. Try googling PGP or SPD.

Definitely sell all tickets. Its disappointing but best option.
I was gutted to sell my highly sought after, difficult to get London Olympics tickets because I would be 8 1/2 months pregnant. I had SPD and could barely walk and was glad I hadn't risked it.

But friend didn’t pay for tickets ex did so she’s already getting free tickets and her best friend will be heavily pregnant. I just can’t comprehend why she would not swap. OP is not being entitled.

In the UK the tickets will be transferable three days prior to the event—they are not transferable now. I’d be surprised if it wasn’t the same there, otherwise how on earth would you sell all yours?

If she can’t go to the concert without you then it’s probably not an issue. You can just say that you can’t get permission from your doctor to travel if you are going to be standing at the concert and explain that you won’t be going unless you can sit and so you hope (for both of you) that you can switch tickets. Otherwise, tell her you are going to just sell your tickets and not go and reassure her that she’ll certainly be able to sell hers too. Phone message: “Oh dear, bad news! My doctor says I am going to have to cancel the TS concert trip if I can’t be seated during the performance. I hate to ruin our plans because if I cancel, I realise it will invalidate your tickets too, since they were bought under my code. Doctor suggests that if we really want to go, we could switch tickets but otherwise, I’m going to have to sell mine. What would you like to do?”

I can't believe anybody can actually write such drivel. They are not your tickets, they are hers.
Also have you actually asked her outright with an explanation. I suspect not.

Yeah I get that. I did have SPD although it was infinitely worse second time around.

FWIW the friend should give up the tickets. I'm just trying to show that accessibility might not be needed.