to think friend should give me her Taylor Swift tickets?

[ticketproblems]

I am a huge fan and signed up to all the presale access codes for UK and close by European countries. The only one I got a code for was a nearby EU country. I felt this was fine as DH and I like to go there and it’s not far away. So I bought tickets, which were in the local language and I was in a panic, which happened to be the expensive, tier 1 tickets for standing right by the stage. I didn’t see an issue overall because I was excited to go.

With an access code you can purchase up to 4 tickets, I bought 2 as that’s all I needed. My best friend and her (then) boyfriend (he was a bigger fan, she likes Taylor but never been too into her) didn’t get tickets to the UK events they signed up to and asked to use my code to buy 2 more tickets, if any were available.

I managed to get them 2 tickets (after spending hours in the virtual queue for them) on VIP which were seated, they’re decent. All was fine, he paid. They then broke up and he let her keep the tickets (presumably because he broke up with her and it’s her friend’s account)

Now I am pregnant and will be in my third trimester, just able to fly still, when the concert comes. I have attempted to contact the event for months about accessibility and been thrown pillar to post, I hope to swap them for accessibility but time is running out. My friend is now bringing new boyfriend and has seated tickets. My friend is fit, healthy (recently ran the marathon) and has no issues with standing, albeit preference is seated.

AIBU to think that she should offer to swap my (better) tickets for hers? It will come down to whether or not I can go. I will not go if I’m standing, this would be idiotic for my health and baby’s. So far, it’s silence and she just said it’d be a shame if I had to miss it.

My reasoning is 1) she only got the tickets because of me and 2) she didn’t even pay for them, her ex did. I also wouldn’t think twice about doing this the other way round.

I can’t tell if I’m being an entitled brat or if it just seems unfair.

YABU- get over it, sell your tickets.
YANBU - a good friend would do this. Especially one who isn’t a big fan.

People in immobilising pain usually do not attend events where crowds, standing in a line for long time etc. is expected.

She is pregnant, not with long term illness. Pregnancy will be over in few months and she can enjoy going to concerts. Taylor Swift is in her 30s and does tours regularly. It's not once in a lifetime opportunity.

Use that last point - that you're not going to just let her in. Inform her that because of the risks to the pregnancy, you've decided you can't go. There's two choices: either she realises that she has a chance to go to a Taylor swift concert with a friend and stand, or you'll realise she's no longer a friend.

She is definitely being unreasonable, but I think you just need to lay it down clearly, that you need to be able to sit, otherwise you can’t go - and so she can’t go.

You were commenting back to a woman and telling her that standing for hours would help with her swollen legs in pregnancy. The same woman had said, in the post you were quoting in your own, that she had SPD.

And having had SPD in both pregnancies, I was fine to sit. I would not have been fine to stand. You can also skip the queues if attending events with evidence that this is necessary - my child is going to this tour and will be taken, along with her chaperones, direct to their seats because she is disabled. All anyone with this medical need would need to do is approach the staff and explain, with a letter of evidence... or, you know, looking 8 months pregnant.

Finally, as someone who has tickets for this tour but isn't personally going, this wouldn't be a big deal to me, but it clearly is a huge deal to a lot of people, as the thread and the huge scramble for tickets attests. Which I imagine is because it's a 4-hour marathon retrospective, running through all her career, rather than focusing primarily on one album with just the biggest past hits added in, as most tours do. I doubt she's likely to do that again, as it's happening at all is down to the pandemic.

She doesnt have to swap however she got them they are her tickets shes paid for. Your pregnancy isnt her responsibility.

Also fit isnt the point theres lots of reasons ppl dont like standing for concerts

Not sure why everyone is wilfully missing the point here.

If friend doesn't swap tickets, OP can't go. Unless you're expecting her to fly to another country just so she can let her friend into the concert and go home?

When I read the thread title I was in two minds, but now I see it's a swap and because you're pregnant, you just need to be blunt. Tell her and her bf that you are going to need the seated tickets, so they can have the standing ones. Simple. If she falls out with you over this she's not your friend.

Is the friend actually aware that she has seating tickets?

My point was that if you cannot stand at concert you simply don't buy standing tickets. There was no disclosure of full pregnancy related issues someone can have and what that entails.l

If pregnancy impacts your life so much you are in pain, surelly you woyld make sure to buy tickets that are suitable for your condition no?

I think that for essential things (and non essential where possible) assistance should be available for pregnant women who need it. However for something like this where demand way outstrips supply I would rather than the limited number of assistance seating goes to those people who are more in need (if op continues to have mobility problems post pregnancy then she will fall in to this category).

I'd have a word with her & ask her how she feels about swapping the tickets so you get the seats. Explain it's either that or you all can't go coz you can't be standing for 8 hours heavily pregnant. If she's a true friend she'll be happy to swap. If she doesn't then sell the 4 tickets & don't refund her.

Tbf I do agree with this. I wouldn’t book TS tickets because even if I could stand, the idea of it makes me exhausted and I could think of nothing worse.

having said that, OP did/does feel she can go; but just expects a bit of consideration from a friend. Which isn’t a lot to ask for.

Tickets were not randomly allocated with friend having more luck.

OP was the first one to buy tickets and she bought standing one.
Friend bought sitting ones for herself as she wants to sit.
Now OP is expecting friend to give up her sitting tickets just because OP got poor planning skills?
Unreasonable.

The friend didn't buy any tickets. Her ex boyfriend bought two so technically they're his. All four tickets are on OP's account.

It really unfortunate but the OP has sold her tickets. Her favour was sharing the code, and that was lovely but, as it's a lead booker event for now, she couldn't have done anything else with them so they would have only gone to waste if she hadn't given the code to the friend.

If I was buying tickets for Taylor Swift I also wouldn't want to go if I had to stand and I would rather not go than stand so I can see the friends point of view.

The 'best' solution would be for the two friends to go together and for the blokes to have the other tickets. Or, as is most likely when it stops being a lead ticket event, the OP could sell the standing tickets.
I think OP is being a bit unreasonable.

This is wrong.

I bought tickets first under a package, in a different language, and checked out. I then realised they were standing once I had time to digest/translate. I just bought the “best” package.

I then considered buying seated and selling the standing if there were any but was unsure, then best friend and ex said they didn’t get a code and could they use mine. As you have to have the code attached to the account, I bought them for them and the ONLY tickets left were a VIP package with seats - the seats aren’t good but it was what was left over 24 hours later. They didn’t request an area but were happy with what I could get.

That’s the run through.

Have you asked your friend directly...can i have seated ticket im heavily pregnant

You are not unreasonable or 'entitled' as someone else said on this thread. This friend of yours obviously doesn't want to stand, fair enough, but in the circumstances should be only too happy to compromise for her good friend, especially if having seated tickets in your possession prevents you from being able to swap for 2 more seated ones, as the 'favour' you did her caused this situation (if I have understood you correctly?) so try one more time to appeal to her to swap, but if she would rather not go at all than stand then try to sell the tickets, much as it must pain you, and chalk this up to experience for future 'favours' she (or others) might ask.

This. I developed PGP with my third pregnancy, and needed crutches to walk. I had to shuffle up and down the stairs on my bum, which was fun. But try getting it through to some people that pregnancy does actually seriously affect some women's mobility... 🤦‍♀️

I wonder if she's worried that your tickets would be more in cost since they are "much better". Could you say that you don't expect more money just want to swap seats so you can sit down because you're pregnant?

You could also say, if I can't go you can't get in as they are all in your name and that's how it works. This is true, if you genuinely won't go unless you can sit then say it how it is.

Having been in 3rd trimester in summer I can 100% say you are not being unreasonable to ask and if your tickets are genuinely better then I really don't see a problem. I would do this for my friend who's pregnant.

I will say though that from what I've heard everyone stands even in seated bits. So unless your front row, sitting down the whole time would mean you wouldn't see much. But it's good to have the option of a break.

Those codes were gold dust, I didn't get one and could have cried but I managed to get hospitality tickets thank god. I hope you get to the show!

What have you actually discussed with the friend?
does she know that you have standing and she has seating, that yours actually cost more and you just want to do a straight swap?

YANBU.... BUT neither is the friend for not wanting to swap.... seems the fact of the matter is, you wont be going if she doesn't swap and she wont be able to gwt in if you are not there so you need to twll her this and then she can decide. if she wont swap and you sell your tickets how will the person buying tickets from you get in?

They're not technically his because he let the friend keep them, they belong to the friend.

The lead booker rule is likely to be changed, or else it won't be enforced. It didn't seem to be being enforced in Paris.

I think you need to be direct with your friend, @ticketproblems -

"Doris - I need to have one of the seated tickets, otherwise I won't be able to go at all - and if I don't go, as the lead booker, none of us will be able to go. Can I swap tickets with you?"