To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

[Voodoohoodoyoudo]

Now I'm not saying one gender is better than the other. But as a mother of sons I feel worried for their future because it seems this notion is currently being pushed that girls can get away with being drama queens but boys need to keep their feelings to themselves and pander to them or they might grow up to be abusive men? What happened to equal rights? I don't condone violence of any sort but this is totally unfair that boys shouldn't be able to do what girls do in terms of sticking up for themselves.

Agreed!

You mean you want to have the right to say anything you want without challenge?

Is it okay to be homophobic? Racist? Fatphobic? Slag off disabled people? What?

Or is it only misogynistic language you want the right to speak?

I don't say those things with hatred in my heart. But I do believe in freedom of speech yes.

I think boys generally get a harder time at school.

I only have boys, so obviously I only hear one side. But there have been occasions when girls definitely got preferential treatment at school. For example, DS2 is 15, and in a recent French lesson they were learning about describing people. They were going round the class saying things like “Lily has blonde hair, Charlie has blue eyes, Freddie is tall” etc. One girl said “MumblesParty DS is fat”. The class and teacher laughed. DS isn’t fat but he’s a bit chunky. Enough to be sensitive about it. If he’d said “mean girl is fat” he’d have got into trouble without doubt.

There definitely seems to be a sense at school that girls being feisty is to be applauded, but boys need to be kept in check.

Of course once out in the real world it all changes, and women get a raw deal. So maybe school favouritism is designed to make up for the fact that for the rest of their lives they’ll be the ones who have a harder time.

I agree with you OP! I see more and more girls are being encouraged and praised even for being “sassy” “strong minded” ”she can’t be told” etc….they think it’s all cute when they are little but they soon turn into bratty, rude and entitled teens/adults which is really not cute at all.

Why do we have to be anything? My adult DS is very sensitive and quick to share feelings and emotions. He's a professional artist and enjoys a quiet life in the country with his female partner.
He's so easy to talk to and be with. Fiery is not in his nature at all.

So you DO think it’s okay for someone to be racist And homophobic? As long as you get your free speech. Nice. In my world
I challenge bigotry.

I don’t think someone who hears your misogynistic language would know about your lack of hatred in your heart and just see your sheer bigotry and ignorance.

But you do you.

Same

Taking care of and guiding your own son should (I hope!) be part of elevating men. You will champion your own son won’t you? We should be elevating all our young people not just the girls.

Fine parent your kid how you like. I have 3 boys. One of the reasons they have absolute trust in me, and come to me with any issues, is because they know I will;
Listen
Acknowledge their feelings
Give my opinion without giving them a lecture or jumping down their throats.

I'm 46 and today I had a guy wanting to park where I was trying to park. I said I was waiting to park and was told to fucking move, in a fucking builder, move bitch.

I was too scared to tell him to fuck off.

This is why girls need to be taught to be assertive (sorry drama queens) because men can be awful.

Thankyou!

I find this with smaller and larger children, not just boys and girls. Maybe we put up with more from kids who look cuter and more vulnerable?

My DS is tall and looks older than he is. Luckily he's a gentle boy because any misbehaviour on his part is much more obvious than with some of his classmates. I fall into this trap myself - I view his behaviour as being much worse because of his size than if the same behaviour was committed by a girl or a smaller boy. I come down much harder on him than the other children's parents do and have higher standards in many ways because I subconsciously view him as "older" than they are, even though he isn't. So in my mind he should be more mature.

I'm not sure on the boy/girl thing tbh. While some small, sweet-looking girls seem to get away with being, similarly some small angelic-looking boys seem to get away with all sorts. They all seem to have similarly doting parents to me, whereas other parents are much more "on it".

That's progress in my eyes
It isn't at all in my eyes. It's teaching that one sex's needs should be prioritise over the other.

I have raised my daughter and son that they are equal in every way. That everything is possible for both. That labels are usual partial and biased.

As it is, my adult daughter has more traditional male traits whilst my son has more traditional female traits. They are who they are and both are close and respectful of men and women equally and form their opinions based on the individual characteristics, not their sex or gender.

Oh stop clutching your pearls about language.

Language is important.
You're using lazy stereotypes and while you don't seem to think it's a problem there are lots of who would disagree.

I'm referring to the growing expectation that young men/boys now expect anal sex and to be able to spit on their partner or choke them during sex. Girls are expected to perform this as their first sexual experiences.

Your point is valid but a separate one. The actions above are almost always done by boys to girls and girls are too scared to object for fear of being seen as frigid .
Girls are being injured during sex. Anal tears and fissures are horribly common. This is not acceptable and we've not even touched on how much more common it is now for women to die during sex as a result of choking.

So I repeat - our boys absolutely need to have consent and what's safe and acceptable during sex drilled into them.

I have also been called a stupid fucking bitch in the middle of the day on a garage forecourt by a man. In front of lots of other people. This man had no problem using language like this and aggressive body language to frighten me.

It's depressingly common isn't it?

Oh stop clutching your pearls about language.

///

Bit of a pattern emerging?

And yes language is very important especially when used to put girls back in their box.

> awaits this threads first Karen reference <

There are exceptions. Time for a bloody change.

Thank you! I have told this anecdote before but my dd was added to a group during the night by a friend. The 'boys' were all discussing what they wanted to do to a girl. It was horrific. Torture in various forms was mentioned alongside sexual acts. This group of 'boys' were apparently all aged between 12-15. My dd is 12. Luckily we take her phone off her and check it very frequently, she didn't see it so I'm hoping this is the first time she's been added to a group like this. The girl who added her is the same age and very vulnerable for various reasons.
You are damn right I'm raising her to be fierce. As fierce as can be. I still don't know if that will be enough.
So I'll let you worry about your sons feeling inadequate OP and I'll worry about my dd's SAFETY facing the consequences of that inadequacy. That fair?

OP you have told the teacher and nothing has been done. Have you escalated to the HT and then to the governors.

Telling your son to kick the girl back was foolish, it put him in the wrong. It wasn’t assertive, it was aggressive.

FYI
I despise porn hub and all this sick shit that boys can easily access and think is normal now. Anal is disgusting at any age imo especially for young girls and boys to think that's normal at their age. But we shouldn't be blaming the kids we should be blaming the sickos that are making this stuff so readily available.

I have escalated it to the HT but they just don't seem interested and I'm losing patience to be quite honest. I didn't really want him to have to kick back but it's better tha him having to just sit there miserably sucking it up.

Actually lots of kids end up having to hit back with bullies, often ends the bullying so don’t feel bad about it. Schools are notoriously shit at dealing with stuff like this, and it definitely seems to get played down if it’s a girl bullying a boy. It’s as if that couldn’t possibly happen so schools don’t want to take it seriously. Make an appointment with the headteacher.

Sorry just seen you escalated to the head. Make an appointment to see them in person (taking a downloaded copy of their anti bullying policy), and ask exactly how they are going to prevent this from happening again.