To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

[Voodoohoodoyoudo]

Now I'm not saying one gender is better than the other. But as a mother of sons I feel worried for their future because it seems this notion is currently being pushed that girls can get away with being drama queens but boys need to keep their feelings to themselves and pander to them or they might grow up to be abusive men? What happened to equal rights? I don't condone violence of any sort but this is totally unfair that boys shouldn't be able to do what girls do in terms of sticking up for themselves.

You're exactly the kind of person I would expect to say "political correctness gone mad" op.

The world would be a much safer place for girls, boys, women and men if boys were actually being raised correctly, but they are not. How can you look at the crime statistics of not just adult men, but of teenage boys as well, and honestly think that girls being raised to be strong is a bad thing?
There is currently an onslaught of male podcasts and influencers who are pushing their unfiltered misogyny on to teenage boys. If you really cared about boys, why wasn't your post about that? That red pill nonsense feeds off keeping males sad, lonely, angry and bitter, surely fixing that would do much more for your sons that keeping girls meek and scared would.

We certainly should blame the sickos that make it. We should also blame parents who have no idea what their young children are accessing online and don't bother to check. We should blame those young boys who grow into young men (men of all ages tbh) incapable of differentiating between the stuff they watch and a real life woman in front of them. Who then think that coercing women into awful, degrading sexual acts is normal.
Teach your daughters to be fierce. To be confident in stating their boundaries. To be confident in saying the very simple word 'No'. We have centuries of compliance and niceness under our belts and its got us nowhere. With the arrival of the Internet, its worse now for girls and women than it ever has been.
I repeat, I am happy to join any movement that deals with the issues that young men face, porn and weed being two massive ones. I am not happy with mothers of boys telling me to teach my girl to be compliant and kind as a shortcut to fixing those issues. Fuck. That.

Could that be because girls and women are still being shouted down by boys and men even when they are being those things which are not always a negative thing?

The words you used you have made into a negative as an example for girls yet the synonyms for them are expected, praised, or even seen not as bad in a boy.

Negative for girls to be sassy, strong-minded, and can’t be told but perfectly fine for a boy to be bold, determined, and wilful.

OP - Touch Grass. Seriously.

Not come across this trend before - and I think being a drama queen is very different from being assertive and sticking up for yourself. It is being acknowledged that the old-fashioned stiff upper lip for men has done them no favours. I'm fine with men crying and prefer them to express themselves, not bottle stuff up. My DH cries at some adverts! Both genders should try to get emotional intelligence while also understanding the benefits of being assertive and being able to stand their ground. Relationships should never be about pandering to someone IMO.

Agree I'd email HT and request a sit down meeting.

As long as you don't pass your anti female rhetoric on to your sons, I'm sure they'll be fine

I'm not anti female at all but a lot of females seem to be anti male

@Voodoohoodoyoudo gosh, I wonder why women are cautious around men. And girls around boys.

You really are anti 'female'.

Women aren't anti male either, we are pro protecting ourselves.

Anal is disgusting at any age

Any reason you feel the need to judge the sexual practices of consenting adults? What if one of your sons turns out to be gay? Are you going to start his safe sex talk with, "Anal is disgusting at any age."?

And yes, I'm aware not all gay men have anal sex, but the majority do (as do a lot of straight people).

100%!

I'm not anti female at all but a lot of females seem to be anti male

Or cautious and trying to protect themselves? We don't owe men nice just because they're male.

You are deluded if you can't see your language is anti female.

I probably shouldn’t post in the morning. I’m not a morning person.
Clearly I’m not as intelligent as you or as good as articulating myself.
I know equality doesn’t mean everything is the same.
You really don’t need to teach me about feminism or about how badly women are treated.
I was raped at 21 by two men in a subway. Fuck knows how many times I was raped in relationships.I became a vegetarian at 13 and lost count of the number of grown men who told me I must want a bit of sausage in my mouth, snigger snigger.
Like every other woman on the planet I have been intimidated, cat called, have to take extra precautions when going out especially at night, brought my son up alone because men can ouss off without consequence.
I can’t be bothered listing the rest.
What I wrote wasn't about that though. I was replying to the OP who nowhere suggested that boys and men are not violent or misogynistic. I took it to mean that her son had done nothing wrong and when a girl hurt him for no reason nothing was done. And I witnessed the same with my son.
Who I brought up to respect women.
I probably still haven’t explained myself properly but I don’t have a degree in English.

Hi Pink

I was referring to the actual OP in your post I quoted. As in agreeing with what you'd said to the OP? I feel they had drip fed initially while harping on about equal rights etc. Hope that makes sense? So I wasn't passing judgement on your experience at all.

And I'm so sorry for what happened to you. It never fails to disgust me how many of us suffer from the actions of an apparent minority of men.

Oh stop clutching your pearls about language
You say that as though language is not important. I think the clear bias embedded in your psyche is very interesting considering you don't seem to give any weight to language. Or is it just when your misogynistic language is called out? Are you able to explain why language shouldn't be an issue?

Sorry I am not woke enough
Yes because you're not allowed to say anything now, political correctness gone mad
And here we have it. The REAL point of the post. Took way too long to get here. Is there even a kid cos it feels like that was probably a prop to ease in 🤷‍♀️

Let's say there is a kid. You have told the school that your child is being kicked by another child. What did the teacher say? And when nothing changed and you escalated it, was was the result? Explain using improved language...'don't seem interested' doesn't explain the conversations had

Where's this 'trend' come from. I've never heard about it. I'm rasing boys and girls, none of them need to keep their emotions in and all of them are taught to be polite and respectful and not perpetrate or accept abuse.

There is absolutely a child. I'm not that bored or petty that I would make shit up for mumsnet.

At the end of the day OP, your sons will experience massive privilege throughout life, just by virtue of being male.

I get that it feels unfair that they should have to deal with some girls being encouraged to be 'fierce and fiery' and that they might feel they have to take a backseat where perhaps sometimes they shouldn't.

But that is not going to have as much of a negative impact on them, as all of the unfairness, bias, sexism and misogyny that girls will experience throughout their lives.

The truth is that girls do need this encouragement more than boys because of the inherent privilege that males have by virtue of their sex.

I get that, I guess because I'm a mum of boys I just notice it more and feel protective of them. It's just girls can be vile as well sometimes and i don't think that should be minimized just because they're girls and are apparently the 'weaker' sex. My DH has an ex from way back who was a complete psyco, she stabbed him in the leg and all he did was restrain her he didn't ever hit her back. They were only about 18 at the time and needless to say it didn't last long. But I do get that your saying to a degree about boys automatically having more privileges.

@thurstonthethird ,

‘At the end of the day OP, your sons will experience massive privilege throughout life, just by virtue of being male.’

I just don’t accept that. I think there is a massive degree of intersectionality about male privilege. Amongst the MN demographic in the UK, I doubt there is much if any. As a class, globally, and across education, income and age brackets, of course male privilege still exists. For the younger middle and upper classes in the uk, not so much and, in many areas, females are privileged. At school, females enjoy privilege, ‘contextual’ offers for STEM degrees, higher income for the first few years of work etc etc.

‘I get that it feels unfair that they should have to deal with some girls being encouraged to be 'fierce and fiery' and that they might feel they have to take a backseat where perhaps sometimes they shouldn't.’

It’s not a race to the bottom and a quid pro quo in unfairness. That will only lead to a continuation of the trend of resentment between and separation of the sexes.

All children need to feel that they are valued and treated fairly.

If you accept it or not it exists and is the reality of female lives. You are perhaps so privileged yourself you don’t see the impact on those born to a different life to your own.

This is how I fundamentally feel also and it's good to see that others agree on here. mumsnet seems so incredibly biased and narrow minded a lot of the time.