To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

[Voodoohoodoyoudo]

Now I'm not saying one gender is better than the other. But as a mother of sons I feel worried for their future because it seems this notion is currently being pushed that girls can get away with being drama queens but boys need to keep their feelings to themselves and pander to them or they might grow up to be abusive men? What happened to equal rights? I don't condone violence of any sort but this is totally unfair that boys shouldn't be able to do what girls do in terms of sticking up for themselves.

I don’t recognise any of this and the conflation of being a “drama queen” with being “fierce” suggests you don’t really understand what you’re talking about. You can’t be fierce and a drama queen.

More importantly it also sounds like you don’t understand patriarchy and misogyny. For millennia, men have been the dominant sex and have controlled women physically (often through violence), and financially. Our entire society has been structured to support men’s needs at the expense of women and to position women as the supporting partner who exist to facilitate men. That leaves a huge imprint on women and our relationship with men.

Although there have been advances, men are still socialised to be the dominant sex with women encouraged to make ourselves as diminutive and unthreatening to men as we possibly can. A lot of women still struggle with assertiveness. So it’s not as simple as saying “boys and girls should both be taught to be fierce”.

Boys already are taught to be fierce by every facet of society all the time. Girls tend to have the fierce knocked out of them.

Children aren’t in school most of their waking hours. They are in school (if school age) for 6 or 7 hours a day 5 days a week in term time. The vast majority of their time is outside of school.

I am a fierce and assertive woman. I have never ever been a drama queen.
Not taking BS from men is not being a drama queen. It’s establishing boundaries.

I don’t know anyone who wants their DD to be a drama queen or expect boys to pander to them, sounds awful. I do know many parents who want their daughters to be able to advocate for themselves and not be doormats.

😅😅😅😅
very good.

you either have room temp IQ or are on a wind up….

i am sure the rape, violent crime and murder stats will be all topsy turvy in 2050…

Why is this anti girl and women rhetoric on MN coming from? Have we been infiltrated by MRAs?

To answer your question OP, I am raising my children to be confident and share their feelings. I have both a daughter and a son. I don't see or hear anything like you have said. Is it just because there is a lot more on building girls confidence these days and women aren't being meek and compliant? Or because abusive men are being called out for what they are? This is not the same as you described.

Not sure what planet you're living on but it clearly isn't Earth.

I agree with this.

I think generally, society still has similar stereotypes as it always has, and boys are raised to be more assertive, more energetic, more physical (sometimes unconsciously so by adults around them).

I need a definition of a drama queen in this context. Cause what I think it means doesn't align with the argument.

Would those feelings be how rapeable their fellow students are? (this is topical where I live - not weird random example).

IME the it’s not weak to speak / this shirt/sign/mug is starting a conservation / RUOK / Black Dog programs etc, which have a strong male focus, are promoting men talking about their feelings not bottling things up.

I think there is a difference in language use because the term fierce is gendered. When people talk about men being fierce violence is what comes to mind - and the modern opinion is that violence is actually bad for society not just for women. Whereas when used about females fierce evokes standing up for yourself, opposing violence and discrimination, not accepting being silenced.

Frankly, most people I see online talking about boys being afraid to speak cause they’ll be pounded on are usually responding for boys seeing consequences for violence in action and language, misogyny and just generally treating girls as objects rather than people.

It’s never comfortable being part of a group that has done a lot of harm. I suspect your sons are uncomfortable having to learn about what men as a collective have done and are doing that harms people and society. It’s easier to pretend it’s you that’s the victim than accept a group you represent so a lot that is really really wrong.

Assertive, confident and having boundaries does not equal drama queens.

Gender meaning is different to sex. Boys/men and girls/women is sex, gender is fuck knows nowadays. Learn the correct language before trying to instill values in your children, otherwise you are going to screw them up (even more).

What nonsense, seriously.
Most families I know, (including my own where I have a son and daughters) have been raising them pretty much the same: to fulfill their potential, be confident, considerate towards others.

Okay I did say trend, as it yes social media. So don't get on your high horses! In what way is what I said misogynistic? Did I not say equal rights? 😳 I think both sexes should be raised to be assertive in a healthy way.

Yeah this.. if you're raising your sons with your misogynist views, then I hope girls / women will stay away from you & your sons as they get older.

I dont know where you are raising children but the culture you describe is nothing like anything I have ever seen or experienced in many years of parenting, fostering or teaching.

I was going to say you are imagining it, but other posters seemingly recognise some of this attitude from some obscure corners of the internet that most people are unfamiliar with. I would just say get off the rubbishy irrelevant social media and your "problem" will be solved.

Drama queens as in getting away with shitty behavior. An example would be, there's a little girl that repeatedly kicks my 6 year old at school. It really upsets him I even told the teacher and told him to tell her to stop but nothing has been done. I've now had to tell him to kick her back, so he did and she told the teacher, he got told off but she didn't? It really grinds my gears and seems like girls get away with a lot more to me.

I think there is some truth to it and schools are very ‘pro girl’, teaching boys about how they need to respect girls and girls how they should stand up for themselves. Unsurprisingly, for a lot of boys, this just pushes them into listening to far more dubious sources on the internet.

Additionally there is very little decent quality teen or young adult fiction that appeals to boys. I agree that some of the books should appeal to both sexes but, if boys won’t buy them, that doesn’t really help.

I do dislike the idea that as, historically, men were favoured or that the pay gap (post about 35 years old) still favours men somehow makes this fair. A teenager isn’t interested in his pay in 20 years time or his parents’ experiences, he is interested in what is happening at home and, especially, at school right now.

There is currently a huge gap between views of teenage boys and girls and it is pushing them into opposition with one another, and that isn’t healthy.

"don't worry, the overwhelming message is still that boys are strong and brave and that girls should be nice and kind. Just walk through a children's clothing aisle or toy shop."
That. Or stroll through the park on a weekend or after school and see which sex is using the wide green spaces to kick a football around and call out to each other.

This is rubbish OP, but I don't think your one anecdote indicates a trend against little boys being able to express themselves. Perhaps you could have taught him how to assertively tell her to stop?

How is kicking someone "being a drama queen"?

because it seems this notion is currently being pushed that girls can get away with being drama queens but boys need to keep their feelings to themselves and pander to them or they might grow up to be abusive men?

So drama queen in girls equates to boys and men who are emotionally literate, is that what you're trying to say?

Raise your sons to be able to recognise their emotions and honour them without aggression towards others.

As for the girl kicking him not being dealt with, that's not an example of trend of girls being raised to be drama queens, that's a very normal example of a child of either sex pushing boundaries and could just as easily be a boy doing it to a girl and the teacher gaslighting the girl that is because he likes her. Your problem is with a teacher who isn't addressing poor behaviour at it's source, I wouldn't jump to sexism on the basis of what you've said here.

Why is this anti girl and women rhetoric on MN coming from? Have we been infiltrated by MRAs?

Became more obvious once the Daily Mail started pinching threads and their readers migrated over. Has intensified over the last month for whatever reason. They have been enjoying the relationships board recently, nothing they love more than encouraging a poster to stay in an abusive relationship or telling her she should just do better.

I don't see this OP but i will just give one example of how nothing has changed regarding women and girls expected to be subservient. There's a lot out there at the moment about the effects of readily available porn on young male minds and what is expected from girls as soon as they become sexually active. We SHOULD be raising girls to be fierce.

When I say 'drama queens' I mean, a bit spoilt. I definitely do agree that girls should also be encouraged to be assertive, I never said they shouldn't and in what way am I sexist?

So boys, who typically get away with worse behaviour than girls are also drama queens?

There is no "agenda".
It doesn't exist.