To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

[Voodoohoodoyoudo]

Now I'm not saying one gender is better than the other. But as a mother of sons I feel worried for their future because it seems this notion is currently being pushed that girls can get away with being drama queens but boys need to keep their feelings to themselves and pander to them or they might grow up to be abusive men? What happened to equal rights? I don't condone violence of any sort but this is totally unfair that boys shouldn't be able to do what girls do in terms of sticking up for themselves.

I have a girl and two boys and this isn't really in line with what I've observed. I think boys are still raised to be more assertive in general. Can you give an example?

Why do you think girls can get away with being drama queens? Why do you think boys are being told to keep their feelings to themselves? I think you might need to explain where you’ve got this idea from.

My own perception is that both sexes are being encouraged to talk about feelings/ mental health- the thing that neither sex can do is explain someone being violent, cruel or aggressive because “boys will be boys”. We’re just not imposing higher standards on girls (be kind, that’s not ladylike) which I am fine with TBH.

As the mother of a boy and someone who works in a primary school I haven’t seen any of what you’re talking about.

I think you're taking stupid shit posted on tiktok too seriously. This isn't really a thing.

Girls aren't being taught to be "drama queens* and boys to pander to it.
Girls are being taught to no longer be "nice" and "kind" and put up with 1000s of years of men treating us as second class citizens.
Additionally there is a good push towards boys talking about their feelings rather than pushing them down or being aggressive. So hopefully we have less emotionally repressed men, who in turn stop being so violent towards each other and women.

Even the language you are using is misogynistic and shows the problem- so girls are 'drama queens' if they are assertive?

... You know why parents focus on those things, right?

Traditionally women were encouraged to be submissive, raising girls to have more confidence in themselves is a protective strategy.

Similarly, we've become more aware of toxic masculinity, high rates of domestic abuse and the negligible share of unpaid labour done by men as a whole across society. Raising boys to be more sensitive than in the past aims to counteract that.

But don't worry, the overwhelming message is still that boys are strong and brave and that girls should be nice and kind. Just walk through a children's clothing aisle or toy shop.

Drama Queens (girls) keep their feelings to themselves (boys)
where on this planet have you understood this to be the expectation? No where I’ve observed either in schools or in families

Eh nope. I see people raising all children to be assertive, curious and independent.

I see people raising children to wear what they want to try activities or toys that interest them, regardless of sex.

I have two boys, two nieces they all are much more confident and emotionally mature than I remember being. They have friends of both sexes. I see them advocate and care for peers who may have extra help. In short, they give me hope. Age range 10 -16.

I don't recognise your view as being my reality among my peers either.

You can raise your children any way you please. You don’t need “societies” permission. You are literally the one who gets to choose. I’ve raised both boys and girls and don’t recognise your dilemma.

Op this is mainly on social media. Don't worry about. Raise your boys to be strong, hardworking, considerate, helpful and independent and they'll do well.

You’ve misunderstood, I think. No one is encouraging girls to be raised as drama queens but to know their own worth and not shrink themselves to appease anyone. Boys ‘keeping their feelings to themselves’ - quite the opposite, we are now (hopefully) bringing up boys to talk about how they feel instead of the ‘boys don’t cry’ mentality of bottling up their emotions only for it to eventually burst out in anger or for them to take their own lives. Certainly the idea is not that boys should be brought up to be men who ‘pander to’ women, or the other way round.

In my experience boys tend to be much more assertive and violent from a young age. Girls are very much encouraged to be kind etc. I have one of each.

This is such a stupid question, OP, as all the PP have pointed out. You've been had by the media-created 'culture wars'. The boys are fine.

Well not really unless you don't send them to nursery or school. Children are in school most of their waking hours and the influence of their peers there is pretty strong.

You lost me at ‘drama queens’.

You sound like a typical mother of sons.
Looking at the world, worrying for them and trying to manage what you can to aid them. Oh WAIT that’s ALL parents.

The fact is it’s still a patriarchal world and your sons are already advantaged. Teach them to enjoy their world and a healthy respect for their privilege instead of modelling an ‘it’s not fair’ attitude along sex and gender differences from the off. Unless you’re looking to raise the next gen Andrew Tate?

I have a boy and a girl.. I think you kind of have a point although I don't agree with how you are saying it. I don't really know what you mean by encouraging 'drama queens' pretty sure that behaviour is discouraged in everyone. BUT I did used to feel sorry for my son at primary when there was a lot of 'girls can be anything' and all the 'A mighty girl' type books.

I didn't see equivalent 'boys can be anything' interesting role models for boys books. And I think for feminism to be successful it's men that really need to change - which starts with boys. And not addressing it leaves a void which gets filled by the likes of Andrew Tate.

As long as sexist parents like you continue to bring up boys with views of girls and women such as you have displayed throughout your OP drama queens 🤷‍♀️ then it's even more important girls are brought up to be confident and assertive because just teaching them to be pretty and sparkly fails girls on every level.

This. But also raise them to talk to you about anything and everything! Be a family that discusses feelings, teach your boy to articulate their feelings. I’ve done this with my boy, he’s 15 now and we have good long chats.
Ignore the current trend for boy bashing. My ds notices it and I have acknowledged it to him, I’ve explained it doesn’t have to affect his life and to ignore it. But it was important to acknowledge his feelings about it.

I don't recognise anything in your OP. I think you have been too much influenced by whatever small internet niche the algorithms happen to be pushing your way.

This is the awful furnace we all live in now. We can't see the world as t is, just some horrible slanted cartoon version of it on social media.

I didn't see equivalent 'boys can be anything' interesting role models for boys books

That's covered by 99% of literature and media, arts and culture through the history of time.

Your post indicates you have issues surrounding sexism yourself, OP. Assertive does not mean ‘drama queen’, and I’m pretty aghast you used that language. Girls and women have been and are still subjected to enforced and coerced submissiveness for all of history. There is nothing wrong with readdressing the balance and also teaching boys empathy and emotional intelligence. They are certainly not going to learn these lessons in general society without parents actively doing so.

Have you always been a misogynist or did this start when you became a mother of sons?

You're talking shit.

Mate, what are you on about?

Exactly.