To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

[Voodoohoodoyoudo]

Now I'm not saying one gender is better than the other. But as a mother of sons I feel worried for their future because it seems this notion is currently being pushed that girls can get away with being drama queens but boys need to keep their feelings to themselves and pander to them or they might grow up to be abusive men? What happened to equal rights? I don't condone violence of any sort but this is totally unfair that boys shouldn't be able to do what girls do in terms of sticking up for themselves.

Sorry, I hadn’t read the full thread. I’m really sorry your son is being bullied and anxious about going to school.
School need to deal with it.

It’s easily forgotten that many quieter boys also differ from the effects of toxic masculinity amongst peer groups. I have two boys who are gentle and sensitive and find the alpha males in their year groups overbearing and unpleasant.

we need more emphasis on managing the problem boys really. I also know that my children, being males will already have an easier time of it than any daughters I would have had. I’m all for anything that helps women and girls.

Taking your kicking example though you don’t know the teacher hasn’t done anything. You don’t know the whole story.

but you do know that you are condoning violence and encouraging your son to kick people. Even worse telling him it’s ok to kick women.

Of course boys can be bossy. You don’t know me or know how I brought my son up.
I have always been aware of non gender stereotyping. I used to call my own son not to boss people around if he ever tried to tell his friends what to do when they were playing together.
You’re just trying to look for ways to avoid the actual topic of the thread.

Yes this. My oldest is now 14 and has a smart mouth on him but he is very gentle really and was never 'rowdy' so didn't fit in with the rougher boys at school.

It's not okay for anyone to kick anyone but why is isn't acceptable the girl gets away with it? There's no time for all this gentle parenting BS it needs to be nipped in the bud and I think kicking back in defense is absolutely fine? What about karate and judo? So much double standards.

So, you assume one girl gets away with kicking one boy and from that extrapolate a strange theory about societal change to the detriment of males?

No it's just one small example

Example of what?
It's certainly not evidence of your claim that girls are being raised to be more aggressive than boys and boys suffer.

I don't think parents are encouraging their girls to be violent. All parents should be discouraging all violence really.
DD gets very emotional at not getting her way and over very minor things, she could be described as a drama queen. We definitely don't encourage it it drives us mad! She cried over the wrong plate the other day and she isnt a toddler anymore she is 5. She isn't violent however

This thread is full of stereotypical nonsense, it’s quite worrying how regressive views of girls and boys have been in the last few years. Back into the boxes we go. The ‘be kind’ movement in particular has been an absolute thorn to girls.

Yes girls should be encouraged to be assertive. It’s not to get one over on the boys, it’s to meet their level which has never been lowered. ‘Drama queen’ has nothing to do with assertiveness, neither is physically lashing out. As for telling your son to kick back, well he may carry that train of thought throughout his life - thing is little boys and girls turn into men and women, and only one of them can hit to kill with one punch.

You are supposed to escalate it within the school through the appropriate channels. If you raise it with the teacher and nothing is done, then you go to the head. If that doesn't work, you go to the governors. You ask for a copy of their anti-bullying policy and for an explanation on how they are implementing this. You ask for how they plan to keep your ds safe.

You are not supposed to use misogynistic terms to describe the bully. Nor are you supposed to encourage violent behaviour from your child, as this is totally unacceptable from boys or girls.

Karate and Judo are proper sports.
It's not the same as kicking out in anger and resentment.
I suspect that you know that.

You relentlessly pressure the school about this bully and raise higher if needs be (head/governors/ofstead/local MP) if the school isn’t taking safeguarding seriously. If all else fails you move him.

You don’t teach him that violence is the answer to violence. The sex of the children in this is actually pretty irrelevant.

Many parents teach their kids to hit back. It often stops bullying straight away. Though it's usually taught to boys regarding other boys.

It isn't acceptable that the girl gets away with it. You need to escalate within the school.

Kicking back in defence is not fine. Two wrongs don't make a right.

I'm guessing that you don't know anything about karate and judo.

It's very regressive, @SpeedyDrama , and quite an agenda. One girl kicks one boy and suddenly males are the more vulnerable and oppressed sex?
I always think of that saying, that if you're used to privilege, equality feels unfair.

Did you speak to the teacher? And if teacher was shit did you speak to the head, or make a formal complaint? Or did you just take your son’s 6 yr old word for it and advise him to start kicking people, then blame societal structures when he rightly got told off?

Chances are if he told a teacher someone kicked him they would have got told off or faced consequences, your son may just not have seen it.

Just to clarify, my son didn't just kick her back in anger, it's because he has had enough. I've tried escalating with the school nothing has been done. I would never encourage him to just hit a child unless it is in self defense.

I have two boys and a girl. I do not see what you see op. The boys can play up and it's cheeky and cute but the girl gets told off for the same behaviours. So much pressure on the girl around her looks and being kind.

If anything I'd say the world for girls today is much worse than my experience 30 years ago. I don't know if boys get away with the outright sexual assault I was subjected to daily at school because my boys are too young/hopefully won't act this way but I think male sexed children have easier life than the girls for sure

If you want an example to make you feel better, my 19 yo DD asked me for advice on how to tell men you're not interested 'without making them angry'. This was after a bloke told her he'd 'smash her face in' when she told him to leave her alone..

So society really hasn't changed that much.

Weird - I’m raising my boys to be kind and brave - which to me means being strong enough to say when you get something wrong and to keep trying when things get tough . If I had a daughter of my own the lesson would be the same . My DSD - now an adult - she’s both of those things

That's just awful. Sorry for your DD. He sounds awful! I hope he hasn't got her number or anything.

Yes, my DD has had this as well. This is what happens in the real world, where girls are not allowed even to be sassy, let alone say no.

@KatyaKabanova

I always think of that saying, that if you're used to privilege, equality feels unfair.

This exactly.

OP obviously you need to escalate this issue with the school. It isn’t acceptable for this little girl to kick your kid.

But extrapolating some conspiracy theory about this being a result of girls being taught to be “fierce” or “bossy” shows how much internalised misogyny you have.

If a boy had kicked your son would you have railed against him having been brought up to be “fierce”? No of course not because that’s a given. You would have mentally written him off as a little pain in the arse and complained to school.

No one is going to dispute that this kid shouldn’t be kicking your son. But you seem to be more offended by the fact the child assaulting your child is a girl than by the fact it’s happening.