To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

[Voodoohoodoyoudo]

Now I'm not saying one gender is better than the other. But as a mother of sons I feel worried for their future because it seems this notion is currently being pushed that girls can get away with being drama queens but boys need to keep their feelings to themselves and pander to them or they might grow up to be abusive men? What happened to equal rights? I don't condone violence of any sort but this is totally unfair that boys shouldn't be able to do what girls do in terms of sticking up for themselves.

@User135644 if you want to talk about suicide, the reasons are varied and complex and none of them to do with privilege or lack of . First of all , the methods men use are more violent,and as such have a higher "success" rate. Women actually attempt suicide more than men . Second of all, toxic masculinity still plays a massive part, pride, not wanting to seem weak , reluctance to ask for help etc.

Well why would they ask for help when they risk getting silenced by being told to check their privilege.

You’ve seen it on this thread, young boys that try to talk to their parents, being told they’ve got nothing to complain about because they are male and privileged. Seems to me they will stop talking if no one is listening.

@MissyB1

You’ve seen it on this thread, young boys that try to talk to their parents, being told they’ve got nothing to complain about because they are male and privileged.

Male suicide certainly is an issue, and a serious one that deserves thought. But I don’t think I’ve seen this (above) on this thread? Parents of young boys are often like OP - shoring up the patriarchy and calling into question the very existence of male privilege.

One thing my DD isn’t lacking is assertiveness 😂 I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone who knows their own mind more! My DS is far more reserved and we often have to encourage him to speak up for himself a lot.

Precisely, a lotvof these so called 'feminists' still want to cherry pick what they like and don't like. Like they don't want to be checked out if they're wearing a mini skirt, but they still want men to hold the door open for then 🤦‍♀️

@Voodoohoodoyoudo "
Precisely, a lotvof these so called 'feminists' still want to cherry pick what they like and don't like. Like they don't want to be checked out if they're wearing a mini skirt, but they still want men to hold the door open for then"

Let me guess. You have a man friend who held a door open for a woman once and she berated him for it? <checks list of things that never happened>

@User135644 "Men's Rights groups get plenty of pushback when they try."

When have men's rights groups got pushback for trying to effect change?

Ok, you’ve really got to be on the wind-up now. How can anyone be so clueless?

I find the idea of trying to teach girls to be more like boys (feisty and independent minded) is quite strange. The reason they are outperforming boys at school is (at least in part) the polar opposite. They are better at listening to teachers and trying to please (yes, intrinsic motivation is better, but extrinsic motivation is a lot better than no motivation). They are also better at cooperative work.

Surely, the last thing we need at the moment is feistier children (of either sex). We would focus better on teaching boys to be ‘more like girls’, more respectful and less feisty.

Teaching healthy boundaries is different and important but too many parents confuse these with rudeness and lack of respect. ‘Go girl’ is not an appropriate response if girls fight, are rude to teachers or sexually objectivise boys (which happens more and more in schools).

This thread just keeps on giving

No one is forcing you to stay :)

I stay for the entertainment

Lol, can you please tell that to the guy I met at the pub the other day who told me I should be at home cleaning the house for my husband?

You must be blind if you think there is no privilege in the 2020's.

Read earlier posts. There are posters saying that if their boys came to them saying they are unhappy about something that feels unfair , or they feel as a boy they are being treated differently or more harshly, then they are quickly shut down by being told they are privileged. That’s not the way to encourage our young men to speak about feelings, that just tells them they have no right to their feelings and that they can’t trust even their own parents to listen.

We may disagree with things our kids voice to us, but a good parent listens to, and acknowledges, how our kids feel. We can gently point our own point of view whilst encouraging further discussion, but shutting down conversation and telling them their feelings aren’t valid isn’t (in my opinion anyway) good parenting.

@Voodoohoodoyoudo

Precisely, a lotvof these so called 'feminists' still want to cherry pick what they like and don't like. Like they don't want to be checked out if they're wearing a mini skirt, but they still want men to hold the door open for then 🤦‍♀️

If we weren't convinced before (we were) we now have proof that you are a misogynist and you will be easing another generation of sexist chauvinist misogynistic sons.

Which is why daughters need to be raised to be confident and assertive and equipped to spot these losers and avoid them like the plague

Yeah okay then. Whatever 🤣

Can you quote to show any posters actually saying that they ‘shut down’ their sons if they come to them with a problem?

No she can't, because it hasn't happened.

Oh gosh I wish I'd been able to just say no to the man who pretty much groomed me then coerced me into sex when I was 15

It's really not always as simple as saying no to something you are uncomfortable with.

@Oneofthesurvivors "No she can't, because it hasn't happened."

Quite. There's quite a list of things that never happened. Including men being berated for holding doors open.....

Precisely, a lotvof these so called 'feminists' still want to cherry pick what they like and don't like. Like they don't want to be checked out if they're wearing a mini skirt, but they still want men to hold the door open for then 🤦‍♀️

//

What a bizarre statement. I don't want to be checked out but would hope anyone would hold a door for me, regardless of sex. That's just common courtesy surely?

Yours, a so called feminist.

You can’t stop someone spiking a drink with drugs or other substances either.

A lot of women will go along with it in the moment because of physical safety fears. Most men can overpower a woman and if they are on alcohol or drugs then that increases the likelihood of them not being reasonable if a woman says no.

Saying no works when you are texting but in person, not so easy.

Precisely, a lotvof these so called 'feminists' still want to cherry pick what they like and don't like. Like they don't want to be checked out if they're wearing a mini skirt, but they still want men to hold the door open for then 🤦‍♀️

'So called feminists'
Bloody hell. You just get better and better!

Absolutely clueless 🙄

Do you understand the term “shut down”? It means to refuse to acknowledge or hear, and to end the discussion. Posters don’t have to use the actual term, they can describe it using other words. Look back at previous posts, I don’t have to trawl this thread for you or anyone else. I have bothered to follow the thread, if anyone else wants to know about previous posts they need to follow the thread, and read all the posts, themselves.
I realise some posters hate the idea that I advocate listening to boys and empathising with them, but it’s worked well for me, both at home and in my job.

I realise some posters hate the idea that I advocate listening to boys and empathising with them, but it’s worked well for me, both at home and in my job

I don’t think there’s a shred of evidence that anyone feels like that.

Pointing out that male privilege is real is not ‘shutting down’ boys. What nonsense.