To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

[Voodoohoodoyoudo]

Now I'm not saying one gender is better than the other. But as a mother of sons I feel worried for their future because it seems this notion is currently being pushed that girls can get away with being drama queens but boys need to keep their feelings to themselves and pander to them or they might grow up to be abusive men? What happened to equal rights? I don't condone violence of any sort but this is totally unfair that boys shouldn't be able to do what girls do in terms of sticking up for themselves.

I can't say I have seen it as a current trend at all.
I think boys these days are encouraged to show feelings much more now then when I was young when boys weren't meant to show any emotion at all! It was seen as weakness and boys weren't allowed to be weak.
I think the current trend is much more about equality so a girl can be strong and angry if that's how she is and a boy can be sensitive and caring if that's how he is. That doesn't mean boys can't also be strong and it angry or that girls can't be sensitive and caring. They can both be both.

@TomeTome how many of you worry that your sons partners will abuse them, that they will pressure them into sex, that they will be “into choking” or “anal” because of their porn habit

For a start I will raise my daughter to just say NO, not happily go along with someone else's suggestion and then claim to be coerced.

*Yes, the male privilege argument is far too black and white for me. People can have privilege in their lives at different times. So, for instance, I'm relatively young and fit. I can run for a bus. My brain and memory work well. Is that overweight man sitting over there on a mobility scooter, much older than me, really more privileged than I am because he's male? I could take him for God's sake.

It still comes down to wealth and circumstance to me, backed up by drive, motivation and a desire to succeed. If you're a male and you lack all of these, and there's a female who has all of these - which one is going to succeed and have a better life?*

You're comparing apples and oranges.

You should compare yourself to males that have the same background as you. Are you on the same rung on the career ladder ? Do you have the same wages? Did you have the same opportunities? Are /were your ideas ,suggestions,projects etc taken as seriously? And so on.

The disabled man should be compared to a disabled woman in the same position. How were they treated when they first started displaying symptoms. Length of diagnosis. Type of treatment etc. Was one of them dismissed, gaslit, told the pain is normal,fobbed off etc.

The way you put it means that no isms exist , because there will always be someone more worse off. That's not how it works. That's not how any of it works.

Exactly you have summed things up perfectly.

The post was aimed at mothers of sons but well done for shifting the work onto the daughters. It almost seems you are suggesting girls should be raised fierce and fiery (as described by OP)?

Nice bit of victim blaming going on there!

"For a start I will raise my daughter to just say NO, not happily go along with someone else's suggestion and then claim to be coerced."

Someone said the quiet bit out loud.......

The terms you list there are used for both men and women and your misogynistic names are referring to female children!
I have never seen a post calling male children names like that.

Still working my way through this bizarre thread, but this stopped me in my tracks.

I too teach in a mixed private school. Your experience is vastly different from mine. Boys cause 90% of the problems in classrooms. Yes, they massively outnumber girls in detention because their behaviour is much, much worse. The rugby boys in the sixth form display toxic, attention-seeking, misogynistic behaviour all day long. Girls are marginalised, talked over and completely overshadowed by male voices every single day. Boys get away with more, unquestionably. Unenlightened teachers (possibly Boy Parents) say stupid things to the girls like “I’d expect this from the boys but not from you.” Girls suffer in mixed education settings, and in very particular ways in privileged mixed settings. I’m very, very surprised that you think otherwise.

Actually OP, I think I sort of know what you mean. I read an article some time ago about a girl and boy in a nursery. The boy asked the girl if she would marry him. The girl punched him in the face as her response. The newspaper, and all comments were amused and praising the little girl. I hated it, however. What it was the girl asking the boy, and he punched her? He would (quite rightly) not have been treated the same way.

I view myself as a feminist, and am very much for equal rights. However, the key word there is EQUAL. Inequality exists for both sexes.

I work in a private school as well and I agree- this is my experince too.

Hmmm although actually, on reflection, I don't think boys get away with more - girls do. Boys are punished more for the same things rhat girls do, eg talking in class or forgetting homework.

Less academic girls monetising their bodies and background to catch a rich husband surely can’t in anyone’s mind be a good thing? Do less academic boys have to consider this route or are they perhaps found less academic careers and allowed to stand on their own feet and marry for love?

I’m flabbergasted that anyone doesn’t see sexism in public schools. It literally smacks you in the face at every turn. Public schools create individuals like Rees-Mogg and Boris. In fact most of our mostly male government. Is it that you think the female public school alumni aren’t interested in politics? Wake up, this nonsense is strangling our country.

Equality would be kicking them back.

Actually the "getting away with" is fairly similar. The difference is boys (generalising here) tend to take it to a level that's unacceptable and consequence worthy more often than girls.

Concrete example:

"Suzie was drawing too!"
Yes she was drawing but she was doing it quietly while still listening. What she didn't do is an inappropriate drawing . Or she didn't draw, then turned the paper into a paper aeroplane which she then threw around the classroom.

Of course, at home the story always is "Miss picks on me. Miss never tells the girls off. Suzie was drawing too! She never gets told off."

For a start I will raise my daughter to just say NO, not happily go along with someone else's suggestion and then claim to be coerced

hopefully you’ll also raise your daughter to understand that sometimes NO doesn’t help and even if something awful happens that you will make sure no one tells her that she happily’ went along with it and is now ‘claiming’ that she didn’t

Boys and girls should be kept segregated in schools.

Not my experience at all. Boys get detentions for rudeness, defiance, fighting and repeated laziness in class/homework. The girls are generally much more conscientious.

Yes, I semi agree with this. They are the same things but more exaggerated snd somehow more 'in your face' and a disturbance. Eg talking in class... the girls might do it but will whisper and it won't impact on the lesson, but the boys will do it loudly. Or a girl might forget their homework but be polite and apologetic about it, immediately coming up with solutions to rectify it, whereas a boy will forget it and act like they don't care, or he argumentative about it. I know I'm generalising massively, and I hate that, but this is what I see, day in day out.

Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom of consequences of that speech. Other people have just as much right to tell you that you're wrong and chose to not associate with you. It doesn't mean you're being cancelled or oppressed.

Yes, I agree with this. Girls definitely talk in class. Boys call out in class. They claim all the attention in the room. They intimidate the girls.

I’ve been teaching for over 20 years. These trends have got worse, undoubtedly. The boys openly mock the girls and pick holes in everything they say and do. They’ve been emboldened by the likes of Andrew Tate; they think it’s their god-given right to critique girls and their appearance.

Men's Rights groups get plenty of pushback when they try.

That’s true. Women’s rights groups never had any pushback 🙄🙄

OP,
I think your son's school is the issue here, they are not taking you seriously.. you need to keep telling them until they listen!! I don't know how high you can go to complain (maybe council) but keep iterating the problem.

What is NOT agreeable is that you thought the last resort is to tell your child to kick the other child back!

Surely your's son teacher will be concerned if you go to them at school run one morning and tell them about the cause of your little boy's anxiety and fear and THAT will make them take it seriously??

I find it baffling that the school is not noticing a child being upset, anxious about the bullying incident and not instinctively raise it with the child and the parent!

It's massive failing from the school and the teacher!

Why are the vast majority of homeless men then? Or the vast majority of suicides? Must be all that privilege men are inborn with.

Privilege is class, not gender, at least in the 2020's. Was different a generation or two (and 3 and 4 etc) ago.