WWYD - husband loosing his grip on things after cancer diagnosis

[CoCoaButter85]

So husband got diagnosed with prostate cancer and having an operation in a month's time. He is late 40's I'm late 30's. As unfortunate as it is, I thought we discussed, we cried and I thought we were at the place where things were fine.

However, he completely started loosing his mind. Drinking himself into coma, smashed the chair around the house breaking it as well as damaging the floor and just making mess all over While all this time shouting and swearing. He's not engaging with me, responds in swear words. He had similar things happened to him in the past, went and found help and was coping really well until now.

To make matters even worse. He was supposed to do sperm freezing and we are due to have egg collection late next week. I have no idea if any of this is going to happen. I'm certainly going ahead with the treatment and freeze my own eggs if hr doesn't get a grip by then.

I just don't know what to do. Trying to talk to him is pointless. I just keep on carrying on with work and having some sort of normality as all he does just drinks and screams abuse after (not at me, just to the world in general)

so glad you feel a little at peace. things will get better.

Hope you are finally able to get a good nights sleep OP. You have done the right thing removing yourself from the home and protecting yourself from further domestic abuse. Some peace and quite is just what you need to be able to plan your next steps.
Are you in a union at work? If so, you should be able to access the legal advice service they normally offer. I know Unison offers this as I belong to the union.

Sleep well OP.
You will get through this and thrive.

Just read the tread, so relieved to hear you're feeling settled. You seem to be incredibly strong.

Are you sure you have no one in real life who you could contact? A friend or relative?

Have a lovely weekend OP

I'm glad you're more settled. I agree mn can be really helpful when going through a crisis. It helped me years ago (different username).

I hope you have a relaxing weekend in your safe comfortable place.

But please do photograph the bruises if you don't already have that.

And please spend time composing your Monday conversation with your line manager or HR person. Maybe you have a staff welfare person?

You're thinking very firmly about covering it with makeup, hiding it, keeping it secret in your posts.

But it needs to be shared to help you deal with it.

Maybe email your LM today asking for a meeting on Monday (not first thing in the morning), saying you've something difficult and personal to share but that you need to take the weekend to put your thoughts together and will explain when you speak.

Let them know you're going to be asking for their help and support so they can feel prepared.

You've practiced going through it with us - copying and pasting your posts will be a great starting point for you.

All the best.

@CoCoaButter85 just checking in. Hope you’re continuing to enjoy the peace and calm at the air bnb

Hi @CoCoaButter85 you have been in my thoughts too. how have you been?

Me too, has he calmed down & realised he has pushed his only supporter out ?