Do I lend him the money???

[Strawberryshortgirl]

My boyfriend of 2 years is starting up a new business and has contracts lined up to be started in the next month or so. So he should see payment by end of Q3 this year. In the meantime his savings have been used up and he’s basically ran out of money to support himself. We have both been very careful over the past year, knowing he is setting up the new business, to keep his expenses low and haven’t really done much or gone anywhere in order to save money. We don’t live together.

So now comes the hard part, he can’t afford anything at this point, can’t pay his rent or bills or child support. I have some spare savings. He wants to borrow a reasonably large amount of this until the business pays out. AIBU to hand over the cash to him for a few months? I find the entire this confusing as I’ve never lent money like this before.

He is in an AST so can’t leave his place without being liable for the rent for another 4 months anyway. So as much as what you are suggesting would be a great solution, in this case it doesn’t work for us.

I do get a feeling that if I were to say no that he would think I’m just letting him fail and not supporting him or being there for him in a way a couple should be.

No.
You could ask for part of his business in return for the money but that might be tricky to set up and ultimately enforce.
Also, I would be concerned about the viability of the business and/or his ability to make money from it if he is in this situation before he even starts.

Does he drive? He could get an evening job delivering pizzas or whatever and work that alongside his business until the business is stable enough. If he's not willing to work that hard to, you know, support his kids, then he's not someone I'd lend money to.

If he's capable of not paying money to support his children he is more than capable of not repaying you.
He has bad morals. Don't lend him the money.

No fucking way would I be lending him money. Maybe pay for the odd meal or activity. Not support him.

Have you seen evidence of this business and pending contracts? It sounds like a long scam to me.

Why a large sum, why not just enough to tie him over for a month?

He can get on to universal credit, food banks, family or friends.

He's not worked in a year but had enough savings to still pay all bills, cms and start a business? Seems far fetched to me.

His financial problems are not your problem to solve or support. He has been showing terrible business acumen and is reckless with his responsibilities (child support, bills etc) if you're happy to never seen your money again or to end up "loaning" him more while he's waiting for these contracts to pay up...go for it. It is yours to spend as you wish.

He is living outside his means - and yours. Think VERY carefully about moving in with him in the future. If he’s asking for money right now then he will expect this again in the future. He is going to have to deal with the consequences of his decisions. He made the choice to be where he is.

Absolutely no

Feed him a sandwich yes.
Keep him from starving.

Business loan never unless you super rich and have accountant lawyers etc lined up

Ask yourself this... what would he do if I didn't have the money.?

Personally the fact he's not thought any further than just getting contracts....doesn't sound like a person with a good business head.

It should be a hard no anyway.

he was so optimistic he didn’t bother getting a part time job. That was unrealistic. So is it realistic that these contracts will happen and will pay on time? Is it realistic he’s going to be able to do the work on time to a high level and run the business (as setting it up has taken up full time hours). Is it realistic he can do the work for these contracts and line up new contracts for when they’ve finished?

he may well just be hopeful it’ll all work out and then he’s going to be very sorry he’s lost your money.

its a no.

That doesn't make sense. How will getting a job mean he wouldn't be able to cover his bills? Why has he not worked for the past year?

Only lend what you can afford to lose.

I do like this idea! It has come to a point where it’s all very urgent and he needs the money now to pay bills. So getting all that drawn up would mean time and legal fees. It’s something I will look into today though.

I absolutely wouldn't. It's a startup, there's no guarantee that it'll be financially successful and it could sour your relationship. Let him take a business loan.

A part time job as he would still need to work on the business in that time.

I am saying this as someone who has loaned my sister cash 3 times the last case being just under 5figures. Do not loan him a significant amount of cash.
When I loaned my sister money, she was in employment she paid interest - set as what I could get if I locked the money away for 2years and she had 2 years to pay me back in a mix of one off payments and a regular standing order. I knew she had money coming in she just didn't have access to the cash up front when her mortgage company changed its terms between her mortgage in principle and her mortgage.

He needs to get a second job to fit around his fledgling business. It will give him more time to get it off the ground and not end up on a tricky position with a failing business and no money to live. With new businesses you really have to hope for success but prepare for failure.

I would try to help him out on a day to day manner to keep his head afloat. Decide what you could afford each month to lose completely and never get back and offer that and hope that he does get himself into a secure position

You sound like you're determined to do it anyway.

I hope you don't have children op.

Let us know in a few months time how it all goes.

I think he needs to sort himself out. Sometimes failing means that you won't get into the same sticky situation in the future. If you weren't there, he'd HAVE to find the solution himself. The solution on this occasion is finding a job. You're not able to fund him indefinitely which is what he would expect.

He doesn't sound financially savvy. Why did he plpugh all his money into his "business" whith no idea how he was going to survive or was his plan to sponge off you? If he hasn't thought this far ahead then no, I dont have faith that he has plans to pay you back. Why does he think its ok to have you bankroll him? Also whats his kid going to live off, fresh air? Having said that, if he doesn't have income then he doesn't owe ex anything.

I got as far as this post and this one nails it.

Your partner hasn't left himself with any funds to pay for the essentials while setting up a business. That's not good.
The first person that gets paid when a business makes a profit is the Taxman. You, if you loan him any money at all, will be WAYYYYYYYY down the list of people to pay back. The bank will come before you.

My suggestion would be for him to get himself a job, make sure that the bills (including his child support bill) will be paid by him and then when he has any free time, he devotes it to this business idea of his. Only when the business starts making significantly more money than the job he's in, should he even consider giving up that job. That might be never, or it might be in 2-3 yrs time.

No. Don't do this. If you want to be nice, and you've already been very supportive by the looks of it, you can invite him when you have a night out or else, but do not lend him money. He is not your husband, you have been together for 2 years, he is setting a business you have no part in. It will end badly if you do lend him this money, he needs to get a loan from the bank.

OP you're not letting him fail, he's letting himself fail. He can still get a PT job at the very least but he is choosing not to.

Where is his business plan? Why can he not approach potential investors? Get a bridging loan from the bank? Did he not think about any of this? Does he even have the skill set needed to run a viable business?

And let's say everything works out and it's a big success, how is he going to pay his business expenses, his living expenses and pay you back all at the same time? Let's say his monthly living expenses are £2500, and you lend him £2500 for one month, he will then need to make £5000 clear the following month to cover his ongoing expenses for that month and pay you back for the previous month-and that will just keep snowballing. Will he be able to cover that even if it all goes amazingly well?

No

Not unless you are prepared to lose the money. If it's a viable business, he needs to get a bank loan. If he doesn't qualify for a loan then the business may not be viable and he needs to get a job.

Well he doesnt know the money is going to be coming in does he?
A lot could happen before it actually hits his bank and it might be swallowed up by costs etc. Thats assuming these contracts pay in full and on time.
An established Business in a bit of trouble that needs a small cash injection on a temporary basis is one thing (but even then I would probably say no) but a startup?????

He knew months ago that this is the position he was heading towards and did nothing to avoid or minimise it. He could have looked for a job- anything, but chose not to and now is guilting you into providing his living costs- for a business that won't see profit for months. I don't think I would take the risk.

How has he been supporting himself until now ? just from his savings ?

He's a boyfriend, you don't live together and already you have been making compromises regarding him setting up a business ' and haven’t really done much or gone anywhere in order to save money. '

I have a fun activity for you...

go to the cash point, withdraw the max you can , take the cash home

and...
slowly and carefully tear up each and every note into tiny little pieces.
then pick up all the little pieces, take them into the garden and
set them on fire.