Do I lend him the money???

[Strawberryshortgirl]

My boyfriend of 2 years is starting up a new business and has contracts lined up to be started in the next month or so. So he should see payment by end of Q3 this year. In the meantime his savings have been used up and he’s basically ran out of money to support himself. We have both been very careful over the past year, knowing he is setting up the new business, to keep his expenses low and haven’t really done much or gone anywhere in order to save money. We don’t live together.

So now comes the hard part, he can’t afford anything at this point, can’t pay his rent or bills or child support. I have some spare savings. He wants to borrow a reasonably large amount of this until the business pays out. AIBU to hand over the cash to him for a few months? I find the entire this confusing as I’ve never lent money like this before.

Very true. So that’s a no from me

Is he not doing any paid work?

Setting up a business is hard and often means working 2 jobs to get it going if you don't have cash behind you

Additional question- if he’s got contracts lined up to start in the next month or so, what’s he doing now?

"how much does he want"

TBH that is an irrelevant comment as we could lend someone several thousand and not miss it where others could lend five quid and go into debt

So he's been living off his savings and neither of you have gone out for the last year, but he's not doing the work until later this year? What's he been doing?!

Oh dear oh dear. But a job or benefits is better than absolutely nothing isn't it?

Sorry this is ridiculous. Open your eyes. You've only been together two years...it's actually not that long.

Send him on his merry way

absolutely no way. Also , no income = no payable child support.

Ooh one thing that has sprung to mind is you could buy a large chunk of his business as an investment, if you really think it has potential.

But your percentage would have to be massive for a tiny amount of cash. Like 49% for £2-3k. And give him the option to buy those shares back off of you until you reduce down to 10% (based upon the current valuation at the time he's able to buy them back)

You never know, it might work in your favour!

I don’t think it’s a good idea to give him the money
but if you did and once your savings were all gone what would he do then when it came to rent and other payments for the month after
I think he needs to rethink his plans and get a job that allows him to meet his financial obligations
it doesn’t sound as if he could return the favour if you needed help because he is completely potless

Most start ups fail.
How would you feel about never getting your money back?

Or it succeeded but you split up and you never got your money back

Or you gave it and it still wasn't making money and he asked for more and you felt you had to in order to stand a chance of getting the first loan back?

If I was going to lend someone a substantial amount of money I would only do it with a legally binding agreement in place and a legal share of the business.

Don't be stupid with your money. Don't let your heart rule your head. Make romantic choices over where to go on your dates, not what to do with your life savings.

Absolutely NO to the 'loaning' of money.

If you were feeling VERY charitable, (and the relationship is 'serious' enough for you both, then you could tell him that he could move in with you and you'd 'cover' his share of food/bills, but that he has to find the money elsewhere for CM/ new business himself.

I would make it clear though, that if he wanted to take you up on the offer to move in, that it was temporary and that he WILL need to repay the added costs for you once he's earning again, as it's not 'fair' for YOU to be 'out of pocket' because HE hasn't planned his new business well. So I'd be making up a spreadsheet with my current 'costs', and a monthly one with the new increased costs (food, council tax, elec/gas etc) and keeping a running total of the extra money I had spent to support him.

And if he says' that's not being supportive' or 'that's not fair', or ANY version where he thinks that you SHOULD be 'out of pocket' for him, then I'd be dumping the entitled would be cocklodger immediately !

If he can't show earning for the last year it either means he's not been working or he's been fiddling his taxes.

If he's not been working, why does he think his business will flourish now? If he's not prepared to pay taxes, why do you think he will pay debt owed to you?

He has been working on the business and expected to get contracts sooner. Now he has secured contracts he knows that money is going to be coming in.
Looking back now I think he should have had a part time job going at the same time, but he was so sure it was going to work out that he didn’t see the need for that. Now he is also wishing he had!

I run a business. You wont get a penny back. Having a contract "lined up" is all very well but until it's in writing it's utterly worthless. Even if it is in writing what happens if they are late paying (very common in business). This means you could still be lending him money and funding him at the end of this year and going into 2025.

This all sounds very poorly organised and badly managed on his part. Many new businesses dont even make a profit in the first year or two. So, unless you intend to fund him fully for the next couple of years and are fine with that (which you shouldn't be) dont do it.

It's clear you are going to give him the money so I don't know why you asked.

You are going to bail him out anyway - so you can say goodbye to your money. What will happen if he has no money at the end of Q3?

Absolutely not
It's a shame but His business has failed if he has spent all his money, does not expect any income for another four months, and he cannot support himself or his kids today or for the next half year.

Cash flow management is key and he has not been even close to successful. Certainly nowhere near to justifying you bankrolling it or investing. This would not end well in any way. Sorry.

I think you would be mad.

He hasn't applied for UC and start up businesses get loans all the time with viable business plans.

He doesn't sound financially responsible if he let himself get into this position in the first place.

If you didn't have concerns, you wouldn't be posting and you would have given him money already. You know it's a bad idea, that's why you are asking.

Don't give him ANY money. Please. You'll never see it again.

If he's willing to get to a point where he can't even pay for his children's support (literally taking the food off their table), how much would he prioritise paying you back?

What is the business? Someone might be able to give an opinion on the chances it will work. Most new businesses don't make it and are a money pit! Tell him to shelve the business until he can save enough to get it through the first year.

And you’re planning to give your savings to someone who lacks basic financial common sense?

You sound deluded

How much he’s looking to borrow does matter - if it’s less than a grand and he’s got an empty month before contracts start, that perfectly possible to earn working in pub/supermarket etc between now and then so he doesn’t need to take her money. If it’s £10k then it’s unrealistic he can get a part time job to earn that in short term.

This. Otherwise, a hard no.

Sadly that's his problem. Why should you solve it? Does he not have family members who can help him?