Do I lend him the money???

[Strawberryshortgirl]

My boyfriend of 2 years is starting up a new business and has contracts lined up to be started in the next month or so. So he should see payment by end of Q3 this year. In the meantime his savings have been used up and he’s basically ran out of money to support himself. We have both been very careful over the past year, knowing he is setting up the new business, to keep his expenses low and haven’t really done much or gone anywhere in order to save money. We don’t live together.

So now comes the hard part, he can’t afford anything at this point, can’t pay his rent or bills or child support. I have some spare savings. He wants to borrow a reasonably large amount of this until the business pays out. AIBU to hand over the cash to him for a few months? I find the entire this confusing as I’ve never lent money like this before.

So how has he supported himself for the past year?.

This.

Are there any local business hubs in your council area? I know in our area there are hubs that help develop small businesses. They'll assign a business mentor, give info on any financial assistance he'd be entitled to and they'll scrutinise his 3 year business plan to make sure it actually stands up. I'd be inclined to get him to link in to one of those first and foremost to make sure this is actually a sustainable business model that he's working off.

I would be really considering how serious this relationship is and where you see it going. If it's definitely long term and forever then I'd lend him a certain amount that doesn't affect you financially and agree a repayment plan and dates in writing with a witness. I'd be inclined to use a solicitor. I'd also get him to link in with CAP who offer debt and budgeting advice. They might be able to negotiate on his behalf with the companies he has bills with to see if they can temporarily reduce payments etc. I don't think it's a good idea for this to just fall to the bank of strawberryshortgirl because what if he runs out again and can't repay you - then where does it end.

If you're going to invest in his business make sure the 3 year plan has been scrutinised and things audited.

Never lend anyone anything you are not prepared to lose.
This applies whether it is money, books, or anything else.
You can never be sure you would get it back.
I would not lend any money in this case, as it is a boyfriend who does not live with you, so there is not a lot of leverage to try and get it back.
I suspect the money would be required for far more than a few months, as well.

He can get a business loan if the bank see's it as a viable buisness, that is. Why isn't he making any money to live? What is the buisness? Whether the buisness is making profit or not he's entitled to draw a salary. If the buisness is making 0 revenue to do this then I would be extremely wary of lending money tbh. Ask to see the accounts proof of contracts etc. If he's mis-managing the buisness it will fail. There are also grants he can apply for as a start up he should look up these rather than leaning on you. I would want absolute proof that this buisness will be making profit by q3 and even then I'd be dubious because he shouldn't have run out of money on a buisness making revenue

No

Can anyone really be this gullible? Does he have a magic cock or something?

I don't know where you are but there are various schemes like this around the country https://www.gov.uk/business-finance-support/access-to-finance-advice-north-west-england there are also just grants you can get from various places. Don't just hand over thousands. Say you can't as it's in an account that can't be removed from or something for 5 years

My answer depends on what you will get in return for loaning the money. Will you be an equal partner with equity in his new business? Or will you just be handing over your savings with no security that you will ever get it back? When the money runs out and his business isn’t doing well, will you have to fork over your hard earned money again?

in my opinion, the best possible outcome here would be for your boyfriend to get a job that will pay his bills until his business is established. If he’s unable to do that, he could look into a business grant/loan. If he already has connections and can show projected profits in the 3rd quarter this year, I don’t see why he wouldn’t be approved for either. If he can’t show connections and projected profits, I don’t see why you would be willing to loan him the money.

Why can't he ask his family for money? I would be dubious lending him money. If you do, I would make sure you draw up a contract and get it independently witnessed and/or a solicitor involved. If he's not willing to sign it then definitely don't lend him the money. The business is so new it's unlikely you'll be getting your money back anytime soon, especially with the bills, rent and child.support he's got to catch up with. Seems too risky to me.

Wow this guy has put everything into a business... Clearly his kids mean nothing nor a roof over his head either.... RED FLAGS!!!! Selfish...his so set on making this a thing he will bleed you dry too!! Don't even think about giving him money.. Damn he can't afford the child support got me!!!! 😞

Only you can decide on this but if you do, make sure you draw p a contract and have it witnessed.

Twenty three pages of comments jumping to the conclusion that the 'boyfriend' is financially inept, hopeless at business, and a feckless dad when he may be none of these things. In addition to DuckbilledSplatterPuff's excellent questions, I would add:

• Have you met any members of your boyfriend's family?
• Have you met any of your boyfriend's school friends?
• Have you met any of your boyfriend's colleagues from when he had a job?
• Have you met his child?
• If he can't go out or come round "because he is broke", does he have enough time apart from you to be leading another life that you know nothing about?
• Are you isolated from your friends and family (either before you met the boyfriend or since you got together)?

It's your choice to do so or not. But all I can say, is getting a contract written up that 1. Specifies that you intend to create a legal relationship between the 2 of you, and most importantly 2. Have a specific date it needs to be paid back by. Many people just put when the loanee are back on their feet, or when the business is doing OK but these are not legal terms and can be argued that even though they are turning over £1,000 a week, they don't class that as being on their feet.

I've lent small amounts of money to "loyal " people who promise to pay it back. They rarely ever pay back because they basically need it to tide them over until next payment. Ultimately it's up to you. If it's under 5k, I would do it for someone I love, but any more than that would be a no

Lack of proper planning on his part is not your financial responsibility.

What sort of character is he ? Business sounds promising. Could you lend him a couple of ££k and ask him to get a bank loan? They’re fairly cheap, saw one for 6% with Tesco the other day

The British Business Bank is a government owned organisation who loan money to startups. A lot of business support organisations refer people to them, I'd suggest telling him to google it.

Zero % credit card, second job?
His business plan isn't too sound.
His repayment plans may also not be.
As someone who has a dad that paupered his family to be self employed, then a husband that didn't understand you don't spend everything you have earned this month on cars, tech, and expensive clothes for yourself if you had no work lined up in the previous 3 months nor the two after and a family to support, I vote don't do it without a watertight plan that outlines circumstances under which he gives up this business and gets a paying job.

Promising? Based on what?

Scratch that, I've got a bridge for sale if you're interested, I am the daughter of a Nigerian Prince.. DM me..

No, I really wouldn’t. Not unless you are prepared to never see that ££££ again. I’ve seen time and time again when lending money to partners / friends in similar circumstances has been a terrible mistake.

You are not responsible for your OH’s mental health or happiness, and he needs to accept and take responsibility for bills before a fledgling business.

He could:
Get a job - any job

Use invoice finance or contract finance to get an advance on what clients owe him

Ask clients for a deposit

Get a lodger (even if he only has a 1-bed, if he gives them the bedroom and stays with friends for a few months or sleeps on the sofa).

Get an overdraft, credit card or loan

If he does all of those he should be able to survive, then if he was a few bob short still then i’d help out.

My personal rule is never lend anything you aren’t prepared to lose.

Please for the love of God DO NOT DO THIS

I have lent money to my cousin, best friend and boyfriend of 3years and NEVER seen it back and it always ruins the relationship because you see their true immoral disgusting disguise.

You will NOT get the money back . It's a very RARE beautiful human being who would pay someone back and unfortunately that is 1%

I’m late to the party to state ‘Hell no!’

You’ve done more than enough subsidising him for the last year. No job for a year. Living off his savings and you to bail him out for a whole year and unable to forecast that he wouldn’t be able to pay his rent or keep up with his child maintenance payments.

I’m assuming you don’t have the money to lose.

I wouldn’t want to buy a percentage of a business that I hadn’t seen a concrete business plan for and with someone without basic common sense re. basic household budgeting, much less business financial planning.

Don’t let him move in with you either.

He’ll have to get a job/s and/or put his business plans on hold. Not your problem.