Do I lend him the money???

[Strawberryshortgirl]

My boyfriend of 2 years is starting up a new business and has contracts lined up to be started in the next month or so. So he should see payment by end of Q3 this year. In the meantime his savings have been used up and he’s basically ran out of money to support himself. We have both been very careful over the past year, knowing he is setting up the new business, to keep his expenses low and haven’t really done much or gone anywhere in order to save money. We don’t live together.

So now comes the hard part, he can’t afford anything at this point, can’t pay his rent or bills or child support. I have some spare savings. He wants to borrow a reasonably large amount of this until the business pays out. AIBU to hand over the cash to him for a few months? I find the entire this confusing as I’ve never lent money like this before.

may not even be fake, but in such case it is very unlikely to be a success. What kind of business is it, does it take a year to set it up?

I wouldn't let him move in, unless you are prepared for a massive struggle to get him to move out.

Does he have a spreadsheet with a monthly projected cash flow that ties into a detailed business plan? If not make him complete one and help him if necessary. Without that he is flying blind and does not have the skills to run a business.

They've been together 2 years and he's already snappy with her and treating her poorly so no, I wouldn't call that a long term relationship. From her other thread he's also borrowed money from other ex girlfriends too so this is a pattern of behaviour not a one time favour.

I dont think the business is "fake" but it the fact is, it doesnt actually exist yet. Until a business starts trading anyone can say "I have a business"- just because they say that doesnt mean it's a legit business or that it's even going to work. Most businesses fail in their first year. He's spent a year setting it up and its yet to bring in any money at all.......

Ah well - I don't know how to look up other threads. in that case then no, it's not a smart move.

I do get a feeling that if I were to say no that he would think I’m just letting him fail and not supporting him or being there for him in a way a couple should be

If so then that's a huge red flag just on its own - especially as you mentioned you've already done a great deal to support him

As so many have said he's clearly completely lousy at planning, though doubtless good at bigging himself up as the next big executive

Your choice of course, but frankly you'd be an utter fool to pour any more into this

My dad, who was in finance once told me, only ever lend money if you either know 100% that you will get it back, or if it 100% doesn't matter to you if you never see it again.
Do you care if he never pays you back....?

82% YABU, overwhelming advice on here not to lend him the money and three days of radio silence from OP. Have horrible feeling she went ahead anyway.

Fully expect a future thread "lent XBF a whole lot of money to bail him out which he refuses to pay back - advice?"

They usually do I think. A lot of posters come on here having already made up their mind and hoping that MN will confirm their decision is the right one. If the thread doesn't go the way they hoped they decide they know their partner better and go ahead anyway.

And yes, you are right. There will be a thread in a year's time along the lines of "I lent my partner money for his business but it never took off and I've been supporting him all this time. He moved in with me because he couldn't afford his rent anymore and had no where to go. Now he's not even looking for work because he says he's too depressed to do so. And I'm paying for everything - rent, bills, food. I just don't know what to do"

It isn't a real business, as he hasn't any business accumen, the bank won't lend him money (or he hasn't bothered trying) as he isn't a businessman. It may be "real" in his head, but none of what OP has described relates to business planning, know-how, and potential starting of a business - and even good business plans fail. Plus his behaviour is that of a lazy person.

I would be wary about a business plan which cannot be "sold" to a bank in order to get a business loan. The people scrutinizing his plans do this as their profession; they are looking for profitable enterprises to give their backing to, so that they can reap the rewards for their own business, when his business thrives. Even when the plan is a solid one, this is not 100 percent guaranteed, but the odds are better.....
They have studies and experience on their side, and are not swayed by emotions such as optimism and loyalty.

I wouldn't unless you can afford to never get the money back. A new business is a huge risk even established businesses' can be risky on a new venture. If you can afford to never get the money back than by all means if you want to, then do it, but do it by the book, all traceable contracts so he can't say it wasn't a loan etc.

Can’t he get a part time job doing deliveries or something? How has it come this far where he’s so skint?

Unfortunately this shows bad planning on his part. You have no guarantee that he will make enough money to pay you back. I wouldn't lend the money. It's too risky.

Why is he paying child support if he has no income?

also depends how serious you are, if this is going somewhere serious then I think you should

Because he has savings and his children need to eat and be housed?

Nope, I would help my husband but if I wasn’t married to him and didn’t even live with him then no way.

It Won’t be a loan. When he has spent it, with no income to pay it back, what’s he going to do for money then if he’s spent hers ? Most new businesses fail. Even those that don’t tend to take 3 years to go into profit. So why not let him face his lack of funds now…and keep her savings. ….giving him her money only delays the inevitable. He will have no money for bills etc and she will have no savings. If a bank doesn’t like his business plan enough to lend him money, it probably isn’t a good investment for her either. Tbh he sounds like my OH…full of business ideas but they never work out. Luckily he’d made his money elsewhere first and always had funds to play with.

Hey OPs boyfriend - is that you ?

Well that's why he's got no money then.
You can GIVE him the money, but I wouldn't bank on it coming back at any point

No. What about his family? Agree with someone above that if he has got himself into this position he would not be someone to lend money to.

HE put himself in this situation. I bet he was more than happy to spaff all of his money away on a “business” gamble when you’re there to keep funding his living, including paying his child support!!

I think OP posted for the same in April.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5059537-dp-wants-to-loan-money-from-me

If you do lend money, get him to sign a contract about how he will repay you. It probably won't be necessary but its a good idea.