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Original poster

DP wants to loan money from me

258 replies

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 19:47

DP’s business is going through a rough patch, he has outstanding invoices that are due to be paid in 3- 6 months that will get him back on track.

He is running out of money to live and run his business and has asked me to assist him financially until he gets paid and will then reimburse me. Amount as of yet, unknown.

We have been together 3 years, don’t live together and had our ups and downs. He’s struggling with depression due to his situation but also not able or willing to support me in ways I need, like emotionally and physically, because of this.

He has lied to me about his financial position in the past. Exaggerated his income and net worth to impress me at the beginning. Would I be crazy to loan him money?

OP posts:
Cofaki · 21/04/2024 19:48

You won't get it back. So yes you'd be mad to lend it.

bows101 · 21/04/2024 19:49

Quite simply: yes, you would.

WhatWouldYouDo33 · 21/04/2024 19:49

yes you would unless you are willing to write it off. He can get a bank loan if needed. It’s a bad idea for you to support his business especially when he has been lying about finances in the past.

what is he doing to chase the outstanding invoices?

PickAChew · 21/04/2024 19:50

Only loan it to him if you never want to see it again.

Viewfrommyhouse · 21/04/2024 19:50

Invoices due to be paid in 3-6 months?!?!?! Why is he offering such extended payment terms? Have you seen evidence of these 'invoices'?

Either way, considering he has absolutely no control over his business cash flow and the fact that he's lied to you before, you'd be bonkers to lend him any money.

Whatsitcalled38 · 21/04/2024 19:51

"No sorry I can't afford to, can't you get a loan?"

In 3-6 months he'll get paid, but he won't be able to afford to give you your money back from it. Businesses fail all the time unfortunately, its unlikely your small amount of money would save his business.

ZeroFucksGivenToday · 21/04/2024 19:51

You'd be mad to lend him this. He either needs to get better financing elsewhere or accept he may need to look at something else for his business.

do no do this. At all.

heldinadream · 21/04/2024 19:52

He lied about his finances to big himself up. What do you think a financial institution would do if he did the same and they knew? Do you think they'd lend him the money?
There's your answer OP.

ARichtGoodDram · 21/04/2024 19:52

What kind of business is he running where invoices get paid in 3-6 months time?

Given that he’s lied to you about finances before it would be a no for me. If his business is good then he could borrow money from a bank.

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/04/2024 19:52

Yep why on earth has he got people owing him money for so long? My invoices are to be paid within 30 days, big jobs pay part up front, part on completion. The only people I work for that is not on those terms is magazines and they pay within 30 days of publication of whatever edition my work was in (which is a pain in the backside but thats how magazines work and if I don't like it I can simply not work for magazines!)

StormingNorman · 21/04/2024 19:53

He should be able to get a loan against outstanding invoices. It’s called invoice finance or factoring. It’s basically selling the invoice to the lender.

StormingNorman · 21/04/2024 19:55

ARichtGoodDram · 21/04/2024 19:52

What kind of business is he running where invoices get paid in 3-6 months time?

Given that he’s lied to you about finances before it would be a no for me. If his business is good then he could borrow money from a bank.

Supplying into retail possibly. 3 - 6 months are fairly standard terms for big buyers such as supermarkets, John Lewis etc.

OhGoodItsRainingAgain · 21/04/2024 19:56

Only lend what you can afford to lose, because you will probably never see it again. I wouldn't lend him anything. If it were a viable solution to borrow money in the short term, then he can get a loan. If the bank won't give it to him, there's a reason for that.

coxesorangepippin · 21/04/2024 19:58

No, no, no

You will never get it back

OpusGiemuJavlo · 21/04/2024 20:00

Do not do it.

Even with closest friends and family you should only lend what you can afford to lose.

With anyone else you should only lend if you have the resources to enforce repayment through the courts if necessary.

This lying, unsupportive and unpleasant "D"P isn't an appropriate person to lend to. You would never get it back, and certainly you'd be a mug to gift it to him.

His financial issues are not your problem. Say no.

Original poster
Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:00

He says he can’t get a loan as he’s had no income for the last year as he gets paid in lump sums for larger invoices as that’s how the business works. There are dry patches. I’ve suggested credit cards to bridge the gap and invoice finance but he says the invoices are so complicated that banks won’t loan… so basically I am his only option to get through this.

OP posts:
7yo7yo · 21/04/2024 20:02

Say no. And dump him. Life isn’t meant to be this hard.

determinedtomakethiswork · 21/04/2024 20:02

No way. Not only that I think you should dump him. He is not there for you and doesn't have your back. He also lies to you. There is no way on this earth you'd get that money back and I think he would make out it was your fault anyway.

Brumhilda · 21/04/2024 20:03

StormingNorman · 21/04/2024 19:53

He should be able to get a loan against outstanding invoices. It’s called invoice finance or factoring. It’s basically selling the invoice to the lender.

Correct, but he can’t do that because it’s bullshit and he’s broke and the invoices either don’t exist or they’ll never be paid and he knows it.

Viewfrommyhouse · 21/04/2024 20:04

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:00

He says he can’t get a loan as he’s had no income for the last year as he gets paid in lump sums for larger invoices as that’s how the business works. There are dry patches. I’ve suggested credit cards to bridge the gap and invoice finance but he says the invoices are so complicated that banks won’t loan… so basically I am his only option to get through this.

lol, I'd love to know what 'business' he's in.

TellerTuesday · 21/04/2024 20:04

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:00

He says he can’t get a loan as he’s had no income for the last year as he gets paid in lump sums for larger invoices as that’s how the business works. There are dry patches. I’ve suggested credit cards to bridge the gap and invoice finance but he says the invoices are so complicated that banks won’t loan… so basically I am his only option to get through this.

What type of business is he running? Is he a tradesman?

I'm a independent bookkeeper and work with lots of small businesses and sole traders and I've never come across anyone running their accounts in that way

therealcookiemonster · 21/04/2024 20:05

I call bullshit. OP time to LTB

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/04/2024 20:06

He has lied to me about his financial position in the past.

Dude, seriously?

Jeezitneverends · 21/04/2024 20:07

He’s full of 🐂💩

SheepAndSword · 21/04/2024 20:07

Oh god - it's one of those situations where you want to help but can't.

It sounds like he's made his finances very complicated. No you can't bail him out.