Do I lend him the money???

[Strawberryshortgirl]

My boyfriend of 2 years is starting up a new business and has contracts lined up to be started in the next month or so. So he should see payment by end of Q3 this year. In the meantime his savings have been used up and he’s basically ran out of money to support himself. We have both been very careful over the past year, knowing he is setting up the new business, to keep his expenses low and haven’t really done much or gone anywhere in order to save money. We don’t live together.

So now comes the hard part, he can’t afford anything at this point, can’t pay his rent or bills or child support. I have some spare savings. He wants to borrow a reasonably large amount of this until the business pays out. AIBU to hand over the cash to him for a few months? I find the entire this confusing as I’ve never lent money like this before.

Ask the mother of his dc how trustworthy he is

Most people don’t have the luxury of setting up their own business if they have bills to pay. If they do, it’s usually because they have significant funds, confirmed order/contracts or stay in employment until they do.

Your boyfriend has planned badly and then done nothing to mitigate the financial crisis he was facing, possibly because he knew you had savings? Aside from anything else he has a child/children to support. Who did he think would pay for them whilst he indulged himself?

He has borrowed from an ex before and paid them back, he tells me

He has a habit of spending big once the cash comes in but is adamant he has learnt his lesson this time. Plus the invoice is very large so would last for a long time

Well this explains why he has no money doesn't it? from your previous post. He's irresponsible with money and borrows money off all his girlfriends.

Learnt his lesson LMFAO

No no no, I have in the past lent a couple of thousand to partner (now ex) nightmare to get it back. Just NO

Hopefully any decent solicitor would tell her to stop being so bloody daft

Who would give a large contract to a business that doesn't exist yet?

I don't think one person has said yes. OP if you have spare money to spend, then give him something but never lend to a friend/family member money that you can't afford to lose. I agree with the others that here it seems very very very likely he will never be able to pay you back.

In particular:

(1) You absolutely can get bank loans if the business plan is solid and particularly if there are watertight contracts in place where income is guaranteed as he's suggesting. This is completely normal for new businesses. If he thinks he needs a year's earnings for a bank loan either he has not actually gone to the effort of investigating financing options, or he has had financing rejected because his business plan is not sound. Neither are good.
(2) If payments the contracts will take until Q3 to be paid (and agree with others that this is if the client pays on time!), then even if they had started two months ago he'd still be out of money now. Why has he not prepared for this?
(3) A part time job might not cover all his costs, but covering any costs is better than nothing. Who on earth decides to start a new business with responsibilities like children and doesn't ensure they have sufficient funds to live off for at least a year? This is why most people keep jobs until the business is close to generating at least basic income.

In summary - this business is going to fail because he doesn't know how to run a business. You refusing to provide your savings does mean it'll fail earlier, but it's inevitable anyway. He's out of money. He needs to give up and get a job. If you're nice you could use a bit of your saving so he can feed himself during his job search (and he can get benefits as well). Note GIVE and this would only be if I believed that this relationship was for the long run (why aren't you living together or engaged after two years?).

Alternatively you can give him some money so you don't feel bad, and eek out the pain longer. What happens then when he runs out of money? Both you and he have nothing. The situation is just worse.

@Strawberryshortgirl SORRY but how in the world does he know your have money and how much you have saved???? you can only lend if you dont expect it to be paid back!

If neither a job nor benefits can cover his bills, then he has to reduce his outgoings. At the moment he has nothing coming in. If he had a job then at least he could foot some of his bills, couldn't he?

Please do not prop up a business that's failing before it has even started.

Don't lend him this money unless you are prepared to treat it as a gift out of the kindness of your heart, and accept that you will never see it again.

no. there's always a way of getting a loan he just will have to pay a lot of interest on it. I agree I wouldn't want him to starve but don't start doing his weekly food shops. he will have to find a way and be an adult.

Here's another angle that might make you come to your senses and NOT lend him money.

Let's say he pulls it off and the business is a success and does well. He gives his ex and their children a big payout as they have gone without. He treats you to a lavish lifestyle and suddenly he isn't the same man anymore and guess what?

Now he's rich and successful he's going to catch the eye of younger and prettier women who are only attracted to wealthy men and they know every trick in the book to lure him away from you.

He's going to be tempted and either cheat on you or dump you.

BUT I personally don't think he has the business acumen to run a lemonade stand outside his house let alone take on a business and run it properly given he is clueless about budgeting, being realistic about finances and fulfilling his obligation to creditors.

His folly is doomed to fail.

No.

Starting his own business (that's code for work-shy arsehole in my book) is a luxury he can't afford. He needs a job.

Do you really want to be involved with a man who doesn't prioritize his child support and work three jobs if necessary to pay it? No decent man cadges money from his girlfriend.

Lemonade stand 😂

I think they say 50% of all new businesses fail and in the current economic climate that will be higher.

Oh lord, this is you too isnt it?: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5059537-dp-wants-to-loan-money-from-me

Only posted 2 weeks ago and the details are almost identical. Why didnt you take on board the advice last time?

His business has already failed. He didn't factor in expenses right from the start. The fact that you are unsure OP means you know in your gut that you should not lend him money. If he walks then count yourself as lucky and dodged a bullet there.

He had saving an enough to last a year. Rather than get a job to top this up, he gave himself a year to build a company. It’s been a year, he’s run through his savings, and he doesn’t have a profitable company to pay back what he’s spent.

But rather than accept he failed - mainly because it feels so close now he has the possibility of a contract next month - his next plan is to run through your savings too.

2 months ago he could have got a part time job, a sensible person would have seen they didn’t have any contracts right now, seen they only had 2 months worth of savings left, and got something part time to take that 2 months left to 4 months left before they had to get a job or a contract actually completed and paying.

he didn’t. He either always planned to use your money or is an idiot, neither is very sexy.

OP how many jobs has he applied for in the past 2 weeks?

Is he desperately searching for any sort of work?

Because anyone who is running out of money and has bills to pay would be.

If he’s not then that tells you all you need to know.

Hi. Please can you answer these questions..

1. What is his employment history prior to starting this business.
2. what type of business is it? This is important.
3. is he going to take a wage immediately or is he expecting a larger return later.
4. Has he had a lot of credit in the past that is now paid off? A satisfied car loan for example. 5)What prompted him to set up the business? Does he know anybody else who does the same thing? thanks

“I’ve never lent money like this before.”

And you will never be in a position to again, because once he’s run through your savings, you’ll both be poor. The magic contract will always be on the horizon, and he’ll just need “a bit more” to tide him over. If he hasn’t budgeted to be able to pay “rent or bills or child support, how on earth is he to run a business? You always need a little seed corn money to start with. The fact that the bank won’t lend him money would be a big red flag - they will have looked at his business plan and clearly, it doesn’t add up. If you’ve an atom of sense, you’ll hang in to your money - if you stay with this fellow whose “budgeting” seems to consist of living off your money, you’ll need it.

This! He could pick up work delivering just eat/uber or such like, even if it's only a few hours each evening.
As PP's have said, no man worth a jot would be cadging off his girlfriend.

None of this information is actually needed to enable the OP to work out that lending the money would be a stupid decision.

The tory government?

"The fact that the bank won’t lend him money would be a big red flag - they will have looked at his business plan and clearly, it doesn’t add up."

I don't believe that any bank has ever looked at the business plan - becasue no such plan exists. Banks have advisors and provide business plan templates to businesses looking to start up - they're in the business of lending money to make money - so unless the boyfriend can show the OP a copy of the plan that he took to the bank, I doubt that it even exists anywhere other than in his fantasies.

If he's struggling, it's his own fault! This is the result of choices he's made.

But now he's gone cap in hand to the Bank of Strawberry and emotionally blackmailing you. you're going to hand over your savings, never to be seen again. He will never pay that money back, because businesses are very expensive to get to a point that they're making money, and there will ALWAYS be something else that needs paying for before you.

He should have got a job to support himself, or applied for a start up loan from the government. It's not your job to bail him out.

I mean you could use your money to start a business of your own if you wanted. Why does your money have to be used to support his dream? What if he took your money and you split up next week? What if the business fails because he makes more bad decisions? (This one seems very likely at this point)