Can't help thinking King Charles is selfish

[Eieiom]

Standing back, looking at the Harry situation, I can't help thinking that Charles is the root of all the family toxicity.

He had an affair while married to Diana, which led to their divorce and much unhappiness on her side. After her early death, his children were obviously in a lot of pain. The remote parenting style of the RF probably did little to soften this.
He's managed to marry his affair partner and now he's cutting off one of his sons.
Harry just looks like a really hurt person acting out to me. In most families, they would just be tolerated and forgiven.
I think the RF look very cold.

Yes, I agree Harry has behaved badly, but I think a lot of that is down to being brought up in the Royal Family. He has spent a lot of time having his every whim catered for, never being told he couldn't have anything, having his misdemeanours covered up, never having to pay a bill or have to think about the cost of anything at all, just like the rest of them. He's been found out now because he has left the fold. I think Meghan stroked his ego and told him how hard done by he was, and both of them now are professional victims. Most of this is Harry's fault, but the vast majority of the vitriol is aimed at her. He doesn't want to bring down the Royal Family. Both him and his lazy brother want a Royal Family where they can do what they like and only have smoke blown up their asses for doing as little as possible. William just knows his children's life of luxury depends on the continuation of the family as it is. Harry's doesn't.

Errrm, Diana was definitely an ingenue when she was engaged at nineteen and married at twenty years of age to Charles who was then thirty-two, having only met him thirteen times in person up to that point!

Diana’s affairs came after her marriage had broken down. Charles’s arguably carried on before, during and after the marriage!

Nope. Harry and Meghan are toxic.

I don't think I suggested it was a moral flaw - only that she hid her personality disorder and mental health issues until she got married and only showed her charming, willing and personable side - not necessarily deliberately either. She was young enough not to really know her own triggers and how to manage her instabilities.

I don't doubt he had no idea at all who she really was, and though I can feel sorry for her, I'd be absolutely horrified to find myself married to someone so deeply unstable and desperately clingy, who cut herself, vomited up meals and threw herself down a flight of stairs while pregnant, who lied, manipulated and bounced up and down like a yoyo. Not her fault, undoubtedly. but that wouldn't make it bearable.

He shouldn't have married her, I think that's clear. And I bet he wished he hadn't, many times over.

We should be rid of them all. Stop giving them money, stop letting them live in our palaces, and stop bloody reporting their family spats.

The big 'Why isn't Harry taking the chance to meet his father' thing ....

Every time Harry's anywhere near England folks look for them to meet up and then rub their chins over why it's not happening.

It's not like Auntie Maude's saved up and flown over on a once in a lifetime trip. If Harry and his father actually wanted to get together they've got enough money and resources to hop on planes to see each other as much as they like! They don't need to wait for the chance that Harry's over here for something else.

They don't, so they obviously don't want to.

There's no mystery. They've fallen out.

I think it's a pretty shit thing to do. Ignore your son knowing that it'll be all the papers talk about so they can hammer him everyday.

I know families fall out but I'd like to think a parent would be the bigger person.

Unless of course Charles has tried and Harry hasn't been interested then that is of course on Harry.

No, Charles did not shag Camilla in the lead up to the marriage or just after it. That was a lie with no proof put about by Diana - and it stuck.

He went back to Camilla in in 1986, 5 years after the marriage, by his account. Of the two of them, he is definitely a more trustworthy source, though both had reasons to lie.

Diana is said to have been shagging around in 1985.

Bottom line, the timelines are, at best, hazy.

Yep, I felt sorry for her, and I am sure it was shit to realise he didn't actually love her - but she was absolutely no saint and would have been totally unbearable to live with.

He shouldn't have married her. After that, it was a tragedy waiting to happen.

https://www.tatler.com/gallery/princess-diana-boyfriends-lovers#:~:text=Barry%20Albert%20Mannakee%20%E2%80%93%201985,the%20role%20a%20year%20later.

What? It’s not possible that she showed her personable and willing side because she was trying to do her best in very difficult and overwhelming circumstances?

And no hint that the circumstances she found herself in - her husband being in love with someone else and she being the last to know - contributed to her sense that things were outside of her control?

How very convenient an interpretation!

And sorry she didn’t hide anything. Her family had holidayed with the royals for years so they knew all about her family history. They all knew about the bitter divorce between her parents and how her mother had been forced to leave the household and abandon her dc.

The truth is that the RF didn’t care. Diana was a convenient producer of heirs and ultimately, collateral damage.

Have you read Spare?

In it, (amongst all the moaning) there's a bit about Wills and Harry living with Charles after Diana's death.

Harry talks about how his father ALWAYS addressed him as "darling boy" , how they would always have dinner together and talk about their day with him and how Harry would call down to Charles when he was getting into bed and Charles would come up and tuck him in, always remembering that Harry was scared of the dark and liked a light left on. And Harry would frequently find little handwritten notes on his pillow from Charles telling Harry how much he loved him and how proud he was of him.

And Harry's verdict, in the book, on all of that?

" I wanted my father to tell me in person how proud he was, not in a note, although I knew that wasn't his way, but still...."

All that love and attention and caring but Harry's only comment is that it wasn't done exactly how he wanted it. 🤔🙄🙄🙄

Harry is self absorbed , self obsessed twat. Charles has the patience of a Saint to still even be talking to him.

I actually, genuinely think she's controlling and manipulative and maybe a narc. She chased a royal connection for years, then lied about it. Pretended to meet him accidentally, stroked his ego and then when she realised the royals wouldn't bend to her demands she talked him into believing her was a victim of their unkindness, manipulated him into a feeling of victimhood - not hard for someone like Harry - and set out to deliberately cut him off from his friends and his family.

It's pretty classic abuse coercive control from where I sit.

She now has him living isolated from his country, family and friend, and she's really all he's got left.

I know he's an annoying, conceited, lying little dipshit and I wouldn't meet him on my own either if I was in his family - but I think once she realised she wouldn't get her way and be able to cash in on being a royal while doing anything she pleased, she set about doing this on purpose.

The assumption she was stupid is more of an issue now if anything. I don't remember that being the dominant narrative at the time at all. Diana (for all her flaws) was way ahead of her time on many issues. She used her position (despite the unhappiness it undoubtedly caused) to do a huge amount of good.

Hugging AIDS victims in the 80s, publicising the plight of amputee landmine victims. This was a time when AIDS was a death sentence and carried huge stigma. Disabled people were hidden away - it was way before all the positive about disability and inclusion stuff we have now. She really was quite exceptional. I don't see any of the current royals doing anything remotely similar although I guess Charles did try with his environmental and Princes trust stuff.

She was open about her eating disorder and mental health - again this is about 20 years before its time.

At the time of her death she was hugely popular - the outpouring of grief was like nothing seen before. Of course her situation generated sympathy, but that was not the cause of her popularity.

Nope, you're doing the interpreting and ascribing motivations.

I'm simply pointing out that she was batshit crazy and unbearable to live with and that he didn't know that when he married her.

She herself said she was no saint. The saint thing was fashioned by the press and repeated many times simply so journalists could knock her back down and say it wasn’t true.

And how do you know his relationship with Camilla was suspended during the engagement and marriage? It’s well documented that Camilla took Diana out to lunch in London and accompanied her to Ludlow races where Charles was riding and was very much involved in the lead up to the marriage which would suggest she was very much on the scene. No one took any notice at the time because they didn’t know who Camilla was then!

https://www.shropshirestar.com/news/local-hubs/south-shropshire/ludlow/2023/02/27/shropshire-star-archive-the-day-diana-joined-camilla-at-ludlow-races/

That really makes no material difference. Having a royal family didn’t protect us from Johnson’s excesses.

This has been entertaining, but honestly I don't know why people get so het up about the royals. I just see them for what they are - all of them, Diana included, and I like a few facts with my gossip :D

I'm bowing out, but y'all have fun.

He said it was. Which is just as credible a source as Diana - in fact really more so.

No reason at all to disbelieve him while believing her. She was very capable of lying and had many, many affairs.

We will never know the truth, only three people know that.

My point was simply that Diana set the narrative. That doesn't make it true.

Anyway, I'm off :)

I'm glad you're bowing out, your choice of language about mental health, self harm and eating disorders is disgusting.

I think if Charles was a stronger character, he could have intervened between William and Harry and told them to stop being ridiculous and make amends. I find it so sad they are no longer close or even speak by the sounds of things. My mum also died in the 1990s and my sister and I were about the same ages as W&H. I'd be lost without her. I'm sure Diana would have been absolutely devastated to think this would happen.

With respect you were sufficiently “het up” yourself to comment at length on this issue and I’ve just presented you with some facts that Camilla was very much on the scene when you said she wasn’t and you’ve bowed out! Your prerogative of course!

I’m not getting at you personally strangewomenlyinginponds I just detest this reinterpretation of events to fit the establishment narrative.

Diana was no saint, Charles was in a very pressured position, there were faults on both sides, but there’s no getting around the fact that what was done to Diana as a young woman in the interest of protecting the succession was completely unjust.

Agreed ComedyCook and agree it is very sad.

He wasn't forced to marry anyone. He could have been honest, left the RF and married Camilla. It wouldn't be the first time, remember Edward VIII - and he was King. Yes, it would have been really, really tough and everyone would've hated him etc, etc, etc but it was far from impossible.

Instead of which he let the unworldly 19 year old virgin go through all of that and carried on having his wonderfully misogynistic cake and eat it. I shouldn't cry your eyes out about his hard life.

Charles is right to keep Harry at bay.because
Harry can't trusted. No one could relax and chat if he was on the company because anything said would be in the Press by morning.

To be honest he could probably have married her and stayed in. Edward and Wallis were pro German Nazi sympathisers. The divorcée thing was a convenient excuse, even back then

You should always be willing to see your children, particularly at a time when there is illness in the family, this is a chance for people to put differences aside and pull together.
I feel sorry for harry, his emotional intelligence is limited but largely I think he just wanted to defend his wife particularly having seen his mums experience and is loudly reflecting on this - which makes others uncomfortable.