DD going for a weekend away with a man she barely knows!

[Wholivesinanapple]

DD is 22, she lives in London, in her last year of uni (just doing exams now), she’s very confident and impossible to convince that anything is a bad idea.

DD has been on 2 dates with a guy who is 32, not massively a fan of this but they to convince DD it’s a bad idea would push her further in, either way not the issue.
Issue is she’s going to Paris with him for 3 nights in a month! Apparently he was able to get tickets to the French open women’s final and DD well she doesn’t hate tennis and goes through phases of it being her preferred sport.
I’ll bite my tongue on the age situation but surely it’s never ever a good idea to go to an unfamiliar city for 3 nights with someone you hardly know?
He could be abusive or anything!

DD thinks it will be fine, and obviously they will go on more dates between now and then so I should just “chill”

AIBU thinking this is dangerous and not a great idea?

On the plus side spending 3 days with him may put her off him. Happened to me once.

She needs her own learning experiences in life. Good or bad, she'll learn from this.

Not a lot you can do OP, the more you speak to her about your concerns, the less she will tell you.

The OP is not getting involved, just expressing her unease, on a site for mothers.

If your DC are young believe me you will worry about them until the day you die; and if they're older don't tell me you never had any niggling little fears that they were doing the wrong thing!

I'd worry, just because we do, but I'd make sure she had enough money in her account that if she needs to, she can just come home. It's probably a lovely weeks away and seeing the tennis means they'll be busy doing things

Yeah mines little and I know I’m going to worry about her until the day I die. An aunt who was really keen for me to have kids (kept badgering me about it) said to me when I got pregnant “congratulations, your mind and heart will never be at peace ever again”. Thanks lady, thanks very much.”

It’s not exactly Mogadishu. Just ask her for the travel details and to get travel insurance. It’s a train ride away if she wants to leave

What exactly are you worried about? Try and voice it for us.

If something goes wrong, it’s easy enough for her to get home.

If he harms her, well, he could do that here in London.

I would be uneasy too , what is a 32 year old ( who is able to get French Open final tickets) doing with a 22 year old student who is presumably still being supported by her parents. But equally I would probably keep quiet , make sure she could contact you if needed, and be relieved when she returned safe and sound and having had a good time .

112 = European emergency number. Good for any emergency situation anywhere in the EU.
In France: 15 = ambulance, 17 = Police emergency number, 18= Fire service

I went on a long weekend holiday with my husband a month into dating him. It was great and really confirmed that we were good together.

People these days travel a lot more and a short break abroad isn't the big deal it used to be. Especially when you're "only" going to Paris- very easy to navigate as a tourist and very cheap to get home from if things go wrong.

Offs, get a bloody grip!
If he was 21 and able to get tickets would that be ok? Or do you think he hasn't got tickets and this is a ruse to get this girl to France, and from there, into white slavery?
If this ADULT had not mentioned where she was going and who with, no-one would be any the wiser.

After 3 dates my now husband asked me to go abroad to a close family birthday (big birthday!) party, where I met legit his entire extended family. We'd been dating about 6 weeks by the time of the party. Was intense, but we felt so connected I had a feeling it was going to be a long term thing and I didn't want to have missed the important birthday. Just to give you an idea of how people can be feeling even very early on in a relationship. A weekend in Paris would have been far less overwhelming 😂

Also when I was 22 I was travelling round the world solo with no internet meeting all sorts of people and having adventures with people I'd just met. Your daughter is an adult. I'm hoping she's sensible enough to have good instincts and make good life choices. Romantic weekend in Paris sounds wonderful, even without the Open tickets!

Best to stop commenting on her choices now she’s an adult - just be excited for her.

I did similar when I was at that age.

Paris is just as safe as London and easy to get home from.

Not really seeing the issue.

Wish after 2 dates my fella was taking me to Paris. In fact I wish after 20 dates he was taking me to Paris…

It’s highly likely to be BS especially if she met him on tinder or similar. He’s prob schmoozing her and it won’t materialise. Men talk all sorts of nonsense when they’re after a leg over

I wonder why that is? 🤔 Could it be because it’s true?

10 years isn't a massive age gap to be fair.

Regardless of whether it's a good decision or not, she is an adult and this is her choice to make. Her only mistake is in telling her parent - if I were her, I just wouldn't be mentioning it.

Does her mobile plan give her free EU roaming? If not can you offer to pay for it? Is her phone in good condition? If not maybe get her an external battery? That might make you feel better.

You’re doing a good job for her to feel ok telling you what she’s up to – and for saying here what you’d like to say to her but know you shouldn’t.

I wouldn't be thrilled about the completely different life stages they are at - 10 year age gap is much less of an issue once she's been working a few years and properly adulting. On the trip front I would just just make sure she has the means & mode of payment (generally a credit card when travel related) available to her to be able to pay for another hotel/travel home should things not go as she plans. Just let her know you'll support her without question or judgement if she needs it.

I mean, the age gap is a little bit weird to me but that's probably because the men I know in their 30s who date much younger women are manchildren who can't find a 30 year old woman willing to put up with them.

That aside, the Paris thing is a non-issue to me. DH and I were 22 and had been seeing each other for two months when we went to Paris for the weekend. That was in 2012, so clearly it didn't do us any harm!

I understand your concerns, but she's 22 and you can do nothing about it. Hard as it is for parents, she's no longer a child and makes her own decisions.

Wish her a lovely trip. Say you'll be looking forward to hearing all about it when she gets back and you are always around for her whether things go well or go wrong.

She's going to Paris, not to the moon. It's an easy train journey. Loads of direct trains between London Kings Cross St. Pancras and the Gare du Nord in Paris.

Wouldn't like the age gap but nothing to do about it.